I have been with a guy for 6 years and have been hiding the fact I have a birthmark ( Café-au-lait spot ) on my left but cheek I don’t like doing thing in the light in case he see it but it’s getting me down as he want to spice thing up with us but I can’t do it
How is the best way to say anything or just not care in the world he says he loves me as me so I am worried he will make fun off me he is an older guy 47 and I am 41 I have been hiding it for many years with other sexual partners
Please help with advice if can
Welcome to the forum. To be honest I wouldn’t even let it worry you. It’s a nature thing to have and if he makes fun then clearly he isn’t the right person. He should love you for who you are. Just have an open line of communication and tell him how you feel and when you feel comfortable show him.
I think for me it the colour off the birthmark that I am scared he is gonna make fun off me about but don’t like walking round naked as scared he is gonna laugh and make fun off me
Thank you for your reply
You can’t hid it forever, I would be honest and be honest with your reservations in telling him, there are no guarantees as to how he will react, but how he reacts will speak volumes.
Either way it will allow you to progress with the sex life you want.
Having a birthmark is a natural thing, he’s probably going to ask you why he’s never seen it before but a birthmark isn’t anything to be ashamed of.
Why do you think this man that you’ve been in a relationship with for 6 years would make fun of you? Your partner should be the one person that you can tell anything to without fear of repercussions.
I think for me it’s to do with Type of birthmark it is as it’s brown so to me I have always through of things people would say if seen it due to colour and were it is
I think it’s harder being a women than a man with a birthmark on the buttocks as for me it’s a bit embarrassing as with colour and were it is that’s all
Oh my goodness, @Mumof4 , sweetheart, you’ve been together 6 years and he’s never seen your butt! This makes me really sad. Honestly, a birthmark is nothing to be embarrassed about and he’ll be so happy he’s finally allowed to see, touch and caress your bum, having a birthmark on it is not going to bother him.
To be honest, given it’s been so long, I probably would say about it first, not exactly this but along the lines of, “I have this birthmark and it really bothers me, I want you see but please understand I’m very sensitive about it and I need you to not be a dick.”
My OH makes fun of so many things about me but only things he knows don’t actually bother me. For example, chubby midget toes, man hands, grey hairs, the insane amount of meds I’m on, etc. On the other hand he doesn’t make fun of things that do bother me like the marks and scars on my legs. It’s about understanding between the two of you what things can be laughed about and what can’t. I hid my lower legs for a while when we started dating, admittedly not 6 years, but when I showed him, he was like, “Yeah, I’ve seen those already, doesn’t bother me at all.”
I’ll bet you’ll feel a lot better once you have shared your birthmark with him. Always better to have someone to talk to about anything that bothers you and not having to hide anymore will make you so much more comfortable! I bet he’ll be happier about it too if you’re not hiding anymore.
And it’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s a fun, quirky part of you. Embrase it x
Very few of us have perfect flawless bodies or complexions. If you’ve been together for that long a birthmark is going to make no difference at all.
If it were me I would simply be happy that you were comfortable enough with me to be fully naked and I wouldn’t dream of making any derogatory remark.
An ex friend of mine’s didn’t believe that I had fucked his wife behind his back, but when I told him the exact shape and location of her birthmark, he got quite upset!
I think you should be honest with him and let him into your insecurity about it, it’s part of you and there’s no reason he won’t love it just as much as the rest of you.
As others have said, he’ll probably be more excited at being able to see your bum
Birthmarks are natural and can occur anywhere, it’s not like you chose the location!
I have patches of vitiligo, mainly around my pubic area, it’s definitely two-tone down there but no-one has ever commented negatively about it, so try and think positive x
