I have loved anal sex and anything g to do with my bum for a long time and it's never been a problem but 3 weeks ago there was an unfortunate incident where I thought it would be okay and thought it would kill the mood if I "hopped off" so carried on fora bit thinking it would be okay but I got off and there was a lump and it turns out that I was no longer constipated.
Naturally I was mortified and because he's a bit of a clean freak it's really put him off, we've only been together a few months. We talked a bit more about it this weekend and he was lovely and reassuring at the time as well and said it won't stop him but we've gone from having anal sex at least once a week to him not even wanting to touch me my ass!
i have never douched or anything! How do we get past this? Surely I can't be the only one?
We've been enjoying anal sex and play for 25 years. We never douche and have never had an 'incident'.
If its put him off.....and I think it would put quite a lot of people off if I'm being honest, then I would buy a douche and tell him that you've bought it and you're going to use it.
Hopefully this will ease his mind. But....if you need to go during sex, get off and go ! Much better to have a short break and then restart then risk another accident x
Thats really unfortunate.I have an IBS problem and thats the main reason we don't have Anal . Even though my condition has much improved and tend to be more regualar it sill sticks in the back of my mind. In the same way this could have put your OH off. But at end of the day we all poop and pee . so its only natural.
Pehaps using a douche could be a way forward and let him know that you have used it .
I'd say time is how you'll get past this. Three weeks isn't that long to get over a shock, although really it shouldn't have been one. Play in the mud hole you're gonna get muddy! Even with douching and timing it's still a risk that comes with anal play. At least you've seen that when it happens, you can both handle the situation maturely (even with the embarrassment).
Relax and carry on doing other things until both of you get your confidence up again. It will be put behind you in time, don't worry :)
You could also use a condom, if you don't already, as a mental reassurance that even if there's mess, it won't be on him. Could help him be more on board with the idea? If he still doesn't want to it could be worth asking him if theree's anything you can do preperation wise to make it more appealing to him. Also pointing out how many times you did it and there was no mess could help, it's not fair to let one accident be the end of anal sex. But still, I'd just give him a little time!
I've had incidents. I have a thyroid condition that plays havoc with my digestion when my levels are wrong and IBS so, although rare, accidents do happen (and usually in clusters as it is linked to my health). I let my partner know if I think there could be mess (if I drank heavily the night before or have bad digestion, for example) but sometimes I get it wrong (although more often than not I think there will be mess when there isn't rather than the other way round). If he knows, he can choose not to go there, although we usually still do.
I used to be so embarrassed but now I realise that it's just a hazard of anal sex. If it's that unbearable to get a little bit of mess, you probably shouldn't be going there. Really we are generally talking about tiny amounts of faeces, not actually shitting yourself (although that can happen but is extremely rare). It's a bit gross but it is the anus so people can hardly be that surprised. It's where faeces comes out!
Knowing your own body is probably the best suggestion for preventing messy anal. If you have foods that don't agree with you, avoid them for 24-48 hours before anal. If you don't know you'll be having anal, just let him know your digestion might not be 100% so he can decide whether he wants to take the risk.
Does he wear condoms for anal? That's one way to massively reduce ick factor and makes cleaning up any mess easy.
+1 to both Lovebirds and Friday, and really to most of the others on this thread.
I can't add much to the above; I agree that it really shouldn't be a shock to come accross poop when poking the poop chute. You won't always be safe even if you don't have that 'need to go' feeling, though for the vast majority of the time you'll be fine.
Give him time; try the condom idea; try keeping a clean up kit in the bedroom; try the anal douche if you really think it's neccessary... But you might find you don't like the sensation/experience and it could end up putting you off.
I can only think of a few times when I was the one recieving and found a tiny bit of a nub. It happened more often when my ex was the one receiving; usually just a little, but occasionally a big bit. The very first time he had me peg him, he was having a bowel problem. Without getting too graphic it was... umm... squirty. Clearly not the best timing, but we just used a towel, laughed it off, and didn't let it put us off. Kind of a baptism of fire, though- it was never that bad again, but we were well prepared and unsurprised afterward.
Maybe this will help your guy ease his neat freakness once he gets over it, eh?
Thank you guys, we don't use condoms any more but I could suggest it and also planting the seed of saying that 13 years of anal before with no mishaps means that it'll be fine, a quick wet wipe and a thumb nail mark on the bed sheet (swiftly changed) followed by a very thorough shower and you'd never know! I think you have given me the confidence to reassure him again that we can go back to how it was! 
Thank you guys, we don't use condoms any more but I could suggest it and also planting the seed of saying that 13 years of anal before with no mishaps means that it'll be fine, a quick wet wipe and a thumb nail mark on the bed sheet (swiftly changed) followed by a very thorough shower and you'd never know! I think you have given me the confidence to reassure him again that we can go back to how it was! 
I think since you have 13 years of evidence, you can reassure him that it's probs not gonna happen again, and if it does, hey ho, it's anal sex, that's the risk you take :)
Well, I am super glad you enjoy and super sad you had a "bump in the road".
I have never been into it but started to experiement after getting on Lovehoney and thinking I should at least try and see. Still not my thing, but sending positive vibes that things calm down with your partner and you can get your groove on how you like to hon.
Popk1n the 13 years previously was with my ex husband, we are still pretty new.
Gem without meaning to be too personal, does your new partner have a bigger tool so to speak? to do so well for 13 years and then have an accident so soon into a new relationship is slightly odd, i also ask rather selfishly as i have thought of buying an anal toy for the mrs and wondering if different 'implements' speaking around the subject can cause a different reaction, much like yourself weve been accident free for 7 years so far.
Popk1n the 13 years previously was with my ex husband, we are still pretty new.
Gem without meaning to be too personal, does your new partner have a bigger tool so to speak? to do so well for 13 years and then have an accident so soon into a new relationship is slightly odd, i also ask rather selfishly as i have thought of buying an anal toy for the mrs and wondering if different 'implements' speaking around the subject can cause a different reaction, much like yourself weve been accident free for 7 years so far.
Not sure if different 'implements' could cause this problem for some people. It dosent make any difference to me.....and I've had a good many items up my bum, all varying in size and shape x