I've been seeing a new guy for a few months (we're both mid twenties) and it's going really great, but he's never really done anything intimate at all and I have no idea how to approach sex with him. We do talk about sex and he says he wants to go there with me, and we tried once whilst drunk (before I knew he was inexperienced) but he panicked and literally ran away.
I want to make him feel comfortable with my body (and his own, I know he's not a big fan of it) but I don't know how to do this gradually and comfortably. I am especially worried because he is not exactly well endowed (3in erect maybe? haven't exactly had a close look), I've only been with large men in the past and I am completely lost with how to handle this. I'm terrified I'll just draw attention to its size and offend him, or do it wrong, or just not feel a damn thing and not notice when it falls out. I really don't want to mess this up, I've never been someone's first before!
TL;DR: trying to seduce awkward virgin with small penis who I love to pieces, and not getting very far. Halp.
Maybe start with dry humping through clothes. It is a way to intimate with out making him vulnerable. Then move to a hand job while in the pants. Then a hand job out of the pants. Maybe oral. Maybe a shower together. Then maybe sex. Also, lights off may help if he is not comfortable with you seeing him naked at first. There are positions that work well for smaller men such as dogy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, etc....
Speaking as a man I really feel for this fella. It's very common for men to have size issues. However sex shouldn't be the be all and end all of a relationship. Give time for your love to grow and try not to put pressure on him. Encourage him to use lots of foreplay and kissing and wait till he gets that ache in his stomach when he decides to get intimate with the woman he loves (there's nothing like it). He may have a magic tongue and very talented fingers. He just needs to gain confidence and get to that point of no return where he has no other option than to give it to you and bust his nuts so to speak. Good luck to you both and if the love is strong enough I'm sure you will find a way to make it a wonderful experience for him and you.
Speaking as a man I really feel for this fella. It's very common for men to have size issues. However sex shouldn't be the be all and end all of a relationship. Give time for your love to grow and try not to put pressure on him. Encourage him to use lots of foreplay and kissing and wait till he gets that ache in his stomach when he decides to get intimate with the woman he loves (there's nothing like it). He may have a magic tongue and very talented fingers. He just needs to gain confidence and get to that point of no return where he has no other option than to give it to you and bust his nuts so to speak. Good luck to you both and if the love is strong enough I'm sure you will find a way to make it a wonderful experience for him and you.
+1  Fab advice.
I guess it depends on what you're used to, and obviously we all enjoy different stuff, but I quite like that kind of size. There is a lot of sensitive spots in those first few inches of the vagina, personally I find that kind of stimulation really enjoyable. And as kinkytaff says, who knows what he can do with his finger and tongue. x
The key with inexperienced guys is just to follow their lead a little really, all the guys I've had have all been virgins. You'll be able to tell when the time is right because he'll be the one to initiate it when he feels comfortable. If he asks you how his penis compares with others you've had, be honest! But explain yourself why it doesn't matter, or why you're excited to learn more about what positions will be next. If you live on your own, maybe try walking about the house in your pants, or getting changed in front of him etc, men are visual creatures after all, and you can get him used to your body without making it a sexual thing if you want to go down the comfort first, sex later route. All the best! :)
Although I dont have any experience with being his first.. I think its important perhaps dont make any issue of his sizing after all it doesn't matter, but talk to him about why he bolted... id definitely take a slow n gentle lead... from cuddles kissingg n teasing touchs often lead eventually to wgat u want it definitely drive my bf mad.. teach him oral etc when he is comfortable before sex hopefully he'll openup :)
Speaking as a man I really feel for this fella. It's very common for men to have size issues. However sex shouldn't be the be all and end all of a relationship. Give time for your love to grow and try not to put pressure on him. Encourage him to use lots of foreplay and kissing and wait till he gets that ache in his stomach when he decides to get intimate with the woman he loves (there's nothing like it). He may have a magic tongue and very talented fingers. He just needs to gain confidence and get to that point of no return where he has no other option than to give it to you and bust his nuts so to speak. Good luck to you both and if the love is strong enough I'm sure you will find a way to make it a wonderful experience for him and you.
Speaking as a man I really feel for this fella. It's very common for men to have size issues. However sex shouldn't be the be all and end all of a relationship. Give time for your love to grow and try not to put pressure on him. Encourage him to use lots of foreplay and kissing and wait till he gets that ache in his stomach when he decides to get intimate with the woman he loves (there's nothing like it). He may have a magic tongue and very talented fingers. He just needs to gain confidence and get to that point of no return where he has no other option than to give it to you and bust his nuts so to speak. Good luck to you both and if the love is strong enough I'm sure you will find a way to make it a wonderful experience for him and you.
Thank you all so much for your advice, I really do appreciate it! Seems like I'm doing all the right things so far, so I'll just keep at it. Lights off is not an option because I am a clumsy fool when nervous and it would definitely end in someone getting injured.. I'll just wait until he's confident enough to initiate things. Such a daft thing to worry about but I've never wanted to impress someone so badly in my life! Thanks again!
Do continue to talk though, and let him know that when he feels ready, you are waiting. You don't want to get into the situation where he starts to worry that you have gone off him because you are now waiting for him to make a move. Communication is key.
Why not try giving each other a full body massage? It could be a good way of getting more comfortable with each other and it's not too intimidating but could lead to more...