So I have just started seeing a new man in my life and we are starting to get to know each other sexually. And I could do with a bit of advice. Not that I am conplaining but he is A LOT bigger girth wise than either of my previous partners and I could use some advice on how I can help accomidate him. We've only had sex twice. The second time he ended up feeling numb after a while and we had to stop so he could recover. He was in a sexless relationship for 3 years before we met so this is the first sex he has had for a long time. He also thinks the lube we used may have effected things so I have purchased some "natural" lube to see if that helps. There is NO WAY we can so it without lube right now. Is it just a case of I have to get used to the size or is there anything I can do to help things? I could also use some advice on how I can approach the topic on manscaping. My new man is a lot more hairy down there than I like. Any help would be appreciated.
Is it worth trying after an orgasm? My wife is soooo much more relaxed after she's come. Perhaps he could go down on you first?
As to manscaping, you could jokingly bring up the subject as a tester. Perhaps you could offer to mow the lawn and do the 'edging'. Or tell him you love a tidy front lawn. Or if it's really wild down there, tell him you're a fan of topiary. Hopefully he'll laugh at the suggestions. If he's like many a bloke I know, he's not making a fashion statement, it's just an oversight.
Speaking as someone who is with a partner with a generous girth, I have found that I’m more open and relaxed after I’ve had an orgasm. So as per suggestions above, I would try to do that. Maybe suggest he goes down on you first? I would also highly recommend positions where you are on top so you can lower yourself down onto him and control depth and maybe do some shallow play as you built up to having more inside you. Before penetration also, as others have said, maybe together or alone use a dildo to get yourself ready too. I would recommend a natural lube too, something water based. I find some lines irritate me downstairs. In terms of suggesting trimming his pubes. Maybe start the conversation by asking him how he feels about your style of whatever you have down there. He might ask or suggest something else which would give you an opening to discuss his?
Thank you for all of your suggestions. So far we are having plenty of foreplay and there he is very willing to give oral before hand. Im sure I will get used to it eventually. We are still getting used to each other. There is deffinately no pressure for me to be bigger at all. In fact he is very accomidating of the idea of us growing together so to speak. We plan to be having regular sex so I guess it is only a matter of time before we find something that works for us both. I think this might also help with the numbness too. If it was infact caused by me being too tight for him. We are exploring options for that. As for the manscaping, well I guess I will just have to approach it openly and see how it goes. Thank you so much everyone.
I’m mak8ng a big assumption here, but I assume you trim/tidy/shave or style your pubic hair. You could always “I will do yours if you do mine” suggestion. Honestly I do think it’s just something he has not considered, particularly after you said he was in a sexless relationship.
Hopefully it goes well.
When I was much younger, "blokes" didn't manscape, full bush only, but then when I started seeing porn and that men were trimmed / shaven and I liked the look of it, so gave it a crack myself, initially had a slight fuzz just above penis but for about 20 years now have been fully bare.
A "you trim mine, I'll trim yours" scenario sounds appealing (thats how Mrs Sen and I used to do it), but it is quite the trusting / intimate act letting someone else near your nether regions with blade in hand and might frighten him off more than anything.
A frank / open discussion about how you prefer him to present himself, coupled with a "is there any way you want me to present myself" type discussion is likely to be best. Perhaps with a few "its ok to be manscapped and it won't make you less masculine or less appealing" type comments to reaffirm his self perception.
Thanks for the tips about approaching it guys. You are right to assume. I wax mine. Full bikini once a month. I get mine done professionally so Im not sure a "trade off" will work. I too would guess its because he didnt have any reason to manscape in his previous relationship. I think its something I might just have to go for it.
Please keep us updated. Great advice above. Position can make a massive difference to how large you can comfortably take. Great excuse to try out lots of positions. Plus agree the more turned on and relaxed you are the better. Regards the bush, Id just say it - maybe ask if he appreciates your housekeeping and then tell him what you'd like to see.
In regards to manscaping, a lot of men don’t do it or don’t admit to it because they feel like they’ll be judged. Just talking to him about it should let him know it’s okay and he’ll be comfortable to do it. If he’s reluctant, just tell him you don’t like giving oral often unless he’s trimmed down there, he’ll be hacking it off in no time 😂
I agree with the others who have recommended that you buy a dildo near the girth of your partner and play with it. This will certainly ease his passage if you become accustomed to more girth. Sex after orgasm also works as you are more relaxed. When I started to have sex with my husband to be I found his size quite uncomfortable especially if he gave me long thrusts. I discussed my problem and the soreness I experienced after a particular energetic coupling and suggested we use lube until I got used to his size. Although I am used to him and now married we still have lube available if needed. I did buy a larger vibrator for solo play and it did help. Manscaping is a matter of personal taste and we grow it and shave it throughout the year. Talk about it and tell him that you find a trimmed or shaved man very sexy. I’m sure that you could have fun pruning his bush. 😂
Morning guys. Little update for you. We tried out the natural lube and a few different positions and they seem to be working for us, I will of course keep you posted on further developments. However, one of the new positions posed a new problem for me. At one point I really needed to pee despite having gone not that long before we started but the feeling went away when we switched positions. I have never experianced this before. Having done a bit of research on here it appears this may have been the prelude to squirting? Any thoughts/ideas/help on this too would be very welcomed. As for the manscapping, well I havent had the chance to approach this yet but date night tonight so I am hoping to broach the subject then. I will keep you all updated.