It can be hard to get your groove on, especially if youāve got a lot of stress on your plate. You obviously still love him, or you wouldnāt be seeking advice on the matter, and thatās an encouraging thought.
My best advice would be to simply be there for him. It might seem (as you put it somewhere) like heās dragging it on a bit, but some people are more resilient than others when it comes to stress ā¦ I know some people who still grieve from a death from 20 years ago, where some will work through it and be okay in a matter of weeks, so everyone has their way. I would be inclined to try just hugging him and reassuring him that youāre there for him, with no expectations of sex. The world is currently on its head at the moment and creating a lot of uncertainty, and sometimes a platonic cuddle, a show of support from a loved one and asking if weāre okay goes a very long way.
Unless something else is going on, this will probably resolve itself in time but it may take some time and patience. But for now, that is the best I can suggest. And thereās always solo play until he comes around. But then, you might find that if he thinks sex isnāt on the plate whenever he wants it, he might suddenly develop an appetite for it, particularly if the other aspects of love are still being demonstrated.
Whatever way you go, I wish you the best of luck with it. xo
Thatās must be disappointing making a nice effort then being rejected.
I know one thing for sure if my OH made such a nice effort I wouldnāt be watching the tv. Iām a big fan of a woman in some lingerie.
Maybe third night lucky?
@MrsG17 sounds like your OH has a simple fantasy. I know what you mean about the outfits looking like a bit of string. Maybe make your own? Short skirt with some tights and a white top? Fingers crossed having a chat will help as the last thing you want is to make you feel down.
My heart aches for you after reading your post. Keep putting in the thought and effort you are and keep opening up. Iāve gone through it in my own way and donāt wish it upon anyone. Hang in there!
Thinking of both of you and wishing you both the best @MrsG17 and @ginnygirl18
As you seem to be on the upside of things now Ginny I bet your a stronger woman now
Maybe what you both could do with then is some coupleās therapy or even have one evening a week where you both can openly talk to each other and get out all the things thatās on your minds without any judgment or arguments
@FortySomethingWife, I understand, I asked him for some love 2 days in a row and got knocked back tooā¦ Last night I didnāt even bother, I just sorted myself outā¦ But tonight is the night, dressing up sexy, having a conversation and hopefully more
Hopefully it goes how I want it to go x
@Buzboy ah, yesā¦ I did forget what if it goes sour
But Iāll stay positive but will keep in mind what you said and donāt get my hopes up too much. Thank you so much for your support x
Iām so sorry to disappoint you allā¦
I just had a cat try and enter my house
Sorry I know that was off subjectā¦ Anyway, so there I am getting ready and just as I was fixing my fishnet tights, I ripped a hole in them so I then had to try and mend them, which I think I did quite a good job of anyway Iām putting on the very nice shoes, the look at shoes, the shoes you can not walk inā¦ And my husband comes upstairs and says āIām not feeling well, Iām going to bedā
I had a 1 minute discussion with him, which I found out he lied to me, and that was the end of thatā¦ Great night!(me being extremely sarcastic there)
That was about an hour agoā¦ Now Iām just sitting outside writing this to you all
@MrsG17
Youāre welcome. For what itās worth my husband and I did our first Zoom counseling session with a therapist yesterday. Different specifics but same as in lack of frequency between us and the feeling of it. Majorly helps open the lines of THOROUGH communication and understanding, and thatās just after one session. Talk about it and see if thereās a possibility to bring open to it.
Keep with it, itās a long road. He obviously has a lot going on, I wouldāve hoped he would talk it through with you. He needs to realise he needs to open up and share whatās going on.
Like I said before Iāve been through it and home truths worked for us - open up or go (Iām not proud of that but it worked for us) Iāve still got hope for you both x
x
(me being extremely sarcastic there)
Keep with it, itās a long road. He obviously has a lot going on, I wouldāve hoped he would talk it through with you. He needs to realise he needs to open up and share whatās going on.
(Iām not proud of that but it worked for us) Iāve still got hope for you both x