So I am still in counselling, the counsellor took 3 weeks off half way through and now I need a bit longer, doesn't help she's not telling me how to cope with things she says I have too many what if's and stuff but doesn't tell me how to "empty one bucket and carry the important things into the bucket for the future" this next session will be 8 of 6 (as I said I need more)
Still having work issues, went to raise a grievance got told not to bother because I won't be believed and I'm signed off sick still and my doctor isn't willing to let me go back, I've had about 5 interviews in as many weeks so I'm hoping and praying I get a new job because my health was getting worse.
I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 and a half months now, we are planning on moving in together once we both have work sorted (decent hours and such) and then we plan on buying a puppy. It's not going to be immediate don't be panicking :) we both need our jobs sorted then save money and stuff but it's a future we both want and I've had some really helpful advice from a mate (most mates just say don't do it it's so expensive).
I'm also looking into doing professional photography, my boyfriend suggested it because he knows how much I enjoy taking photos and even if I just have it as a hobby or side job I'd like to make something of it.
Hi Kirsty,
I can't promise to help solve all your problems but as party of my psyc hology degree I did a mindfulness module which honestly impacted on my whole life. It's about how we're always worrying about the future or looking at what we should have done in the past and aiming to help people focus on the absolute present. Lots of breathing and being alone with your head but I can't stay sad or angry for too long these days. As soon as I notice myself getting sad I label it and let it go on. Negative emotions are way too unproductive for me :) Just thought it might be something worth considering since your counsellor sounds a bit rubbish xx
Good luck with the new career move. Being able to do something you enjoy always makes a massive difference to quality of life! 
I'd love to be able to do photography for a living (at the moment I'd say I'm a very keen amateur)... but with a family, mortgage etc. I just don't think we could afford the transition from full-time employment to self-employed and variable income. So kudos and respect to you for following your passions!
Thank you both. Im definitely just a keen amateur at this stage but I definitely want to get better at it. Sell the photos I take and maybe do portraits also.
That definitely helps a bit. Thank you. My counsellor just gets me to talk to her but doesnt tell me how to deal with stuff.
Kirsty92 thanks for the update and I am glad you are making progress and things are going well with your boyfriend. sendign positive vibes on areas of a new job and your work with the counselor.
Thank you so much. I'm still looking for childcare work in the meantime but hopefully I can do both.
Apparently I have an eye for it and I've had strangers tell me that not just the boyfriend and people that know me.
I know you still have one or two issues but forget about them for a while and just look at what you have achieved in the past 12 months . You seem to have met a decent guy who will look after you and developed a solid relationship. You appear to have got rid of those horrible so called backstabbing friends. And now the prospect of turning your hobby into a small sideline business .
See its not all bad 
Thank you guys.
It's definitely not been easy and in counselling I've been told I need to open up more about how I feel. I do just not to her.
I still very occasionally talk to the two best friends but my counsellor said I need to think about if I want them in my life at all or bot because she said the way I spoke about them it's obvious they meant a lot. Shame she doesnt suggest how I can make these decisions she just gets me to talk and sometimes I cry.
The boyfriend is amazing and to be fair we have been through a lot both taking care of each other with different things, we've both helped the other when the other has panic attacks or through the struggles with work or through his family loss. Considering it's been 6 months we've stood strong through a lot and I definitely feel we can make it long term. Thats what he believes and wants too.
My nan had cancer last year, went into remission, got it again nearly exactly 1 year later and she's still battling. My dad had a cancer scare also awaiting results and its just all a bit mad but I'm doing all I can. Talking it through helps a bit but I wish she had some methods of coping and such for me.
Thank you I have actually been considering it. I have a scrapbook focused on mine and the bfs relationship along with a memory box for things too big to go into the book but writing down the problems may help too.
Yeah its been quite worrying. One friend lost her grandad to cancer recently and another friends best friend is going through it and thats how my boyfriend lost his amazing nan too.
Thank you so much, I will give writing it all down a go and see how it goes. I have tried it in the past it didnt help much i just ripped it all up and felt stupid for feeling such stress and stuff.
Yeah I love the scrapbook and box. It was just going to be a box but I had far too many photos and hated them just lying there in a pile so I put a load into a book and wrote about stuff like the dates we go like our trip to the zoo and stuff.
WOW! I am currently 13th most popular in a photography competiton. Better yet it's a photography competition about love captured and it's not over yet. So excited.
Good to hear from you and nice to see you're happy and smiling!
Glad to here from you......I have been worrying. You definitely have some positive things be to look forward too. Sending hugs and remember we're always here for you xx
Thanks guys. I still have bit of a way to go but it's getting a little bit easier. Just wish the counsellor would give me coping mechanisms so I can keep on the up and up and learn how to help myself a little more.
Currently gone up to 12th on the competition it's so cool.
So I am pretty excited. The photography competition ends 1st January 2017 and I'm currently 7th! But the main reason I'm excited is...
MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE GETTING A PUPPY! We've always wanted one but planned to wait until we moved out because his mum doesnt like pets but I have persuaded my parents to let us get one and have it live at mine and we are both going to pay for the puppy, we will be getting pet insurance and taking care of the puppy equally. He practically lives at mine anyway. He only goes home for a bath and change of clothes and food mostly.
We are looking for a female golden retriever as close to 8 weeks as possible. So excited and yeah my boyfriend said the same about taking photos too.
Cant wait can take photos of my boy and our little pup. :)
Aww yeah theyre so lovely arent they?
Will do. We are just getting the money together and looking for a retriever nearby. If not if might be another breed. Possibly a bored collie.
Haha obviously I meant border collie not bored. Possibly a rough collie. Found 2 perfect collie puppies absolutely gorgeous both too far away. One in Wales one in Ireland, we dont want to take them too far in a car in case it makes them sick
Looks like we are getting a female border collie today!
Also I'm 5th in the photo competition.