So I posted something last night about what lies parents tell their kids and a thought popped into my head.
When I first started masturbating I was playing around and you know what happened, I didn’t know what it was fully because at the time when sex education wasn’t brilliant pretty much all we learned was how to put a condom on a banana and my parents didn’t tell me anything about sex so it scared me a little.
Fast forward a few years and edited start looking at porn and that’s when I first saw a sex toy used by a woman. So for years I knew what a sex toy was but I didn’t know much about them, as in what they could do for people, they were sex toys for men as well or where to buy them, so I started investigating into them.
Because I live with my parents I felt uncomfortable buying anything like that just in case they open one on accident or start asking questions. When I turned 31 and still not had any type of relationship or anything my time in the bedroom was lacking to say the least so I needed something to spice things up and I plucked up the courage to place an order with a fleshlight, a bottle of lube and a couple of other things and I thought that would do me.
Nearly 4 years on and 30 orders later I’ve had the most amazing times in the bedroom, brought lots and lots of sex toys and learnt so much about them.
Because my parents didn’t say anything about sex toys or sex in general and I left it for so long I feel my early adult life could of been a lot better with sex toys. I understand most parents are uncomfortable about this subject.
Has anyone else wish they had brought sex toys sooner, had to find out about sex toys for themselves, from the internet from friends or just by buying one and going from there?
Good question. I don’t remember how I learned about them. I’m pretty sure my dad talked to me about them now that I think about it.
He & my stepmother had talked to me and planned to take me to an adult store when I was 18.
That never happened unfortunately. And no, I didn’t feel awkward about any of that. They were pretty open sexually so that helped.
I personally didn’t ever get any toys till about 11 years ago. Haven’t been terribly into them but I have purchased SO many lately and experienced mind blowing orgasms.
They do make “hiding” devices to keep your stash of toys a secret. But in addition to that it may be a good idea to just talk to your parents and let them know you’re into it and not to be surprised if they go rooting around and see some stuff.
I actually can’t remember I recall finding my mums when I was little and her fobbing me off that it was a neck massager I was always very open with my mum so sex, and all things related when I was older was a very approachable subject so can imagine it was told to me. I had my first vibrator when I was younger. I got it at one of those little pharmacy/off licence/ sex shops in Blackpool. It was a little bullet and the collection grew from there. I had a few with my ex and left them with him when we broke up.
To be honest though I don’t tend to use mine for much solo play. They are used more for additions during sessions with the hubby!
Its a shame that you didn’t learn more when you were younger and that’s goes for a huge majority of our younger generation. I think our sex education system in this country is diabolical. Kids need to learn everything really not just the basics. They need to learn that porn isn’t real aswell. Because they learn so little, they think their learning from these sources and then bitterly disappointed or horrendously self conscious cause they’re not like the gods and goddesses they see.
I’m very open with my eldest son and will answer any questions he has… sorry I digressed a bit there
I think I bought some with my partner at a high street store when I was around 18? Didn’t really think much of them at the time and quickly gave up. I wish I was a little more patient with them, but to be fair, I did buy cheap things. Probably not the best examples to begin with. Gave them another chance like 10 years later and much happier for it.
Makes me wonder on those “lost” years. Oh, well. Made up for it in the last couple.
It makes you wonder if you stuck with them or in my case had them sooner those 10 years would of been a happier place but at least we’re making up for it now
Our first sex toy was a small plastic vibrator my wife brought back from a sex toy party one of her friends had organised. That would be 20 to 25 years ago.
Do I wish we had discovered them earlier. Definitely. Our sex life has taken off exponentially over the last few years following the discovery of LH.
Goodness. I heard about them when I was in college (another term we use in the USA that is different from the UK), grad school I believe, because a friend had a sex-toy party before her wedding. I didn’t go to the party but I saw photos and got a penis-shaped lollipop afterward. I didn’t actually get my first sex toy (a bullet vibrator with a removable textured sleeve so you can put it on your finger too) until a couple of years ago. Since then I would say it’s only been about in the last six months that we’ve had them. But I am so glad we do. We’re still “learning” about them but experimentation is fun. I just wish I was a bit more patient with them. We’re still pretty vanilla, but as my husband says, we used to be completely flavorless.
My parents only talked to me about sex when my dad caught me with my boyfriend. I grew up in a very prudish, sex-negative community in where you didn’t talk about those things (but I’m sure more people than would admit it used toys and had some kinks and almost all of the high school aged teenagers were sexually active). Even recently a friend posted a picture, on Facebook, of a woman on a subway with a see-through grocery bag that cotained a dildo. I commented, “good for her!” but most people suggested she was a pervert and she should just get married. (I told them to be careful about the assumptions they were making). I am SO GLAD I don’t live there anymore.
Good on her. How do they know she wasn’t already married? It’s not just single “lonely” people buying them, haha. My work colleague was shocked that I had toys and a partner - like I can only have one or the other.
@David1986H - Agreed. It’s a shame people still feel like that. Judging others for what the enjoy. Better to have a sex toy up my ass than a stick like theirs
@David1986H@Kh1985 you may want to edit your posts to remove your ages. LH starts 18+
I usually just say ‘when I was younger.’
I got my first vibe from a sex toy party. I was 20 so fairly young. Toys 20 years ago were crap whereas today there’s some great technology and materials.
Done. I’m 35 now so definately over 18 sadly. Didn’t think it would be an issue as I was just recalling, but noted and will keep in the memory bank for next time
Oh good lawd yes, I wish I had known about toys earlier. The difference to my knowledge and enjoyment of my own body with a simple, one battery, one speed bullet would have been immense.
I bought my first one myself from a competitor. I was 18. My uni friends then bought me a box full of goodies on my 19th. It then became a steady addiction, which is now out of control
I bought my first bullet vaguely 9yrs ago in a highstreet chain that will remain nameless (though im sure you can all guess). Walked in with zero idea of what i wanted (or what i was looking at in most cases) and ended up with a rocksoff bullet because it looked unintimidating. Also found lovehoney (via google) about then. Sadly this never really went anywhere for me then. I just wasnt in the right place for them i think.
Im in a reasonably similar situation to you by the sound of it, but in my case my sex drive was practically zilch until a little over 2yrs ago due to meds ive been taking most of my life. Having almost no libido was my norm and always had been, so having them earlier wouldnt have done me any good i think as for me, i just wasnt in the right place (mentally, phisically) for them. Do i wish my libido chemistry had balanced itself out earlier? yes 100%, ive learnt so much about what makes me tick sexually in the last few years and put me in a better place about it all. But we all get there when we get there, as they say.
Edit. Yes sex ed was various varieties of useless. Colledges was marginally better (actually showed and explained to us a selection types of different condoms and dental dams before doing the classic banana meets condom trick) but i definitely didnt learn about sex toys (or even which lubes are compatible with condoms to be honest) from them.
Sex ed back in the late 70’s early 80’s in secondary school was rubbish.
It was just about sex being for making babies not for enjoyment.
We did cover some STDs and aids was hitting the headlines too. Discussed boys masturbating (not girls) and the old condom on a banana demo.
It was a famous Sunday newspaper ad where I bought my first vibrator it was hard plastic and it did nothing for me. I was in a relationship at that time.
I’m glad in a way as I learnt to enjoy sex with a person and the closeness involved with that first. I had never masturbated and didn’t until decades later.
Fast forward to the last 15 years from a well known high street store and then finding lovehoney I have waaaay too many toys and accessories and I love it.
But for me the closeness and sharing yourself with another is priceless.
A couple have mentioned the well known high street store, I think we all know what it is
I only ever experienced closeness with one person but it was for a very short period of time as its wasn’t for me at the time plus I didn’t feel a spark with her.
Until I meet someone again if that ever happens im going to enjoy the hell out of sex toys
My parents are very sex negative, so I certainly didn’t hear anything from them (and even now, I would only get a lecture on moral standards).
I don’t recall how I learned about toys, probably pop culture? About 95% of my sex education happend on the internet though. Of course, learning on the internet means you have to be very selective about your sources.
I was always very open with my mum so sex, and all things related when I was older was a very approachable subject so can imagine it was told to me. I had my first vibrator when I was younger. I got it at one of those little pharmacy/off licence/ sex shops in Blackpool. It was a little bullet and the collection grew from there. I had a few with my ex and left them with him when we broke up.
