ok im new on here so can someone help me out please?
i have had a few vibs now for a year or so, but well i have never even got close to having an orgasm yet so can you tell me how the hell im meant to be using them as all i feel is a buzzing and thats the best it gets!! none of this waves of pleasure stuff i heard about just a buzz almost a boring one at that.
Hi Gang, This Lady is someone I know from another site and she is totally genuine, I have tried to relate from my experiences and suggested that she try OA.....ideas please girls.....
thanks lesleys
Mrs T is the same - she doesn't seem to get much at all out of a vibe. I think it's fair to say she's not very "clitoral" - prefers vaginal / G-spot stimulation.
i couldnt say one way or the other tho as to what i prefer
Hello, As I put in my first reply to you, Orgasms for girls tend to begin in the head. From reading your original thread/postings, you've never had an orgasm, and seem unable to pleasure yourself at all. You said that your hands are for your Husbands pleasure not yours, why, don't you deserve to use your hands on your body for pleasure?
I think that is where your problems may lie. I'm no qualified expert, maybe someone on here who is could give you some advice but I feel that maybe its time to concentrate on YOU and YOUR self esteem. You listed your Husband, then your kids, then yourself - maybe it's time to worry about you for a change, start treating yourself. If you can start to believe that you are a sexual person in your own right, you should feel sexier and that's when you can start explore your body and what turns you on.
I know you said you don't read but you obviously can so I think you should try some of the Sexperts out there to try and find a way forward.
The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Barbara Keesling £5.99 on amazon.co.uk, this deals with the mental side of sex, body image etc.
You could also ask your GP for a referral to a counsellor as a starting point.
Good Luck!
yeah i figured out how to do a post on my own!!
ok i dont get any pleasure, whatever that is , from me doing anything to myself, they are just used for bathroom purposes, and washing only.
yeah obvoiusly i can read its just that with the many books we have on this and other subjects its the same thing, i read a page, i turn it over i dont know what the hell i just read!! its gone totally from me, and when you add that to the fact that from the sex books we own, which are many in numbers, i havnt got a thing to even relate to what they are talking about.
been to doctors and therapists of many kinds and i just dont have any of the starting points that you all take for granted
wel even tho i dont read books i have gone ahead and ordered that copy you mention perhaps hubby might read it and explain to me what it s all about?
ok so the book arrived yesterday and i have made headway in readin git, hwever im really stuck on a lot of it,i.e. the sensat focus part, i am at a toal loss as to what arousal is so how can i arrive at what level of arousal im at? the book doesnt help at all with anything to do with that at all, it later goes on to where you find your g spot, and im totally unable to do that at all, i have never ever had my fingers in there ever!! i have tried but i just cant do it, but once again im stuck as to what is arousal? if i dont know what that is then going any further is pointless, as i cant answer the questions, even being to myself, its just poking for the sake of poking to me
earlier on in the book it was saying about the being able to what only can be called fantasy element of thinking about how your sex should be etc etc im not able to do this at all, i never have done, the best i can muster is a thought of i wish i could be better, and thats it i have no ability on making it better with any affect in my mind, its like watching a tv programme without switching it on, its total blackness.
so there you go perhaps you can now see why im struggling here?
Thanks to Lady V for the book suggestion hope and hope that it will do you some good....also I know that the lovely Ruth at LoveHoney as also sent you info and advice that again I sincerly hope you can use to your advantage....if any of you out there have any suggestions then I'm sure they would be gratefully recieved....this is going to be a long hard road but imagine yourself with a problem like this.....quite a few on OA paid and amateurs who class themselves as "sexperts"....this is a challenge for the best of the best....maybe it's a condition( is that the right word?) that you've come across previously, maybe your not qualified in anyway but feel your 10 pence worth just "might" help.....
Good sex starts between the ears! If you don't feel at ease with something then the earth won't move for you.
I bought my gf a rabbit (not a furry one!) and she's nearly worn the thing away! However she's not keen on oral sex (which I find odd as when I give her oral, she always reaches orgasm).
My point here is - if it feels wrong, it probably is.
Fair enough but if nothing is happening for her what do you suggest ....that she joins the Nuns ?
but the point being cumstar is that in my head in open to anything but when it comes down to it i dont feel any of it at all
I totally agree with cumstar if your not in the right mood then orgasm is the hardest thing ever to reach.
On the other hand it could be a physical problem you say you feel nothing do you mean you physically feel nothing or mentally you feel its wrong ?
Maybe its time you visited your doctor or nurse and discussed the problem with them (you dont need to mention vibes).
You also seem to have very old fashioned veiws about what your body is for. As a teenager didnt you ever touch yourself or feel arousal ??
I know I for one from the age of about 11/12 couldnt keep my hands and anything else i could find away from there. Relaxing is alot to do with climax.
And cumstar I know how your gf feels I have the same problem I dont mind giving oral but the thought of receiving it gets me wound up in a totally different way, I dont know if its because I was teased as a teenager by an ex bf or what but as with your gf I still orgasm when I do let my hubby down there. As funny as it sounds its nice once it starts its just the thought thats off putting.
i dont have any problems taht a doctor can find, not that they ave actually looked inside tho.
As a teenager didnt you ever touch yourself or feel arousal? wel obviously not or i wuldnt be asking these questions about it would i?
Dildos all the way slightly ribbed ones are great too... sometimes vibs just numb ya lady bits lol I swear by dildos....oh and plenty of lube just to help things slide nicely!!
The problem is Laynie she does'nt feel any sensation whatsever and does'nt know what a orgasm is even supposed to feel like, I described it as feeling hot and like you sexually want to explode within.With the best will in the world how do you explain arousal to a mature women (43) who as never experienced it ??
ok erm perhaps this is daft but is arousal before orgasm then or is that the just seconds before orgasm thing?
i understood it to be at the beginning of sex? am i wrong
No ,that is quite correct arousal is the beginning, the getting wet and yes I want this stage, the foundation of the orgasm.
o sopyour saying that at that stage you feel hot and explosive?