Hey! It’s been a while, life has been crazy but I’m back :) yay! #
I’ve just managed to get on top of most things and life (and especially sex!) is on the up again :) yay! Hubby has been opening up bit by bit and is beginning to understand that lingerie is my thing which helps me feel more confident and then in turn leads to better sex for us
I have sent him some links to some lingerie but also asked him to look through the site and find stuff he likes. Now to my question...lol! How do you ‘talk dirty’ in the moment? I’m great at sexting (even with stock photos I can get a good storyline going and my hubby loves that) but he wants me to verbalise it whilst we’re at it like rabbits.
We are limited on space due to being a multigenerational household (both older and younger generation 🙄🤦🏻♀️) so need to be fairly quiet too 😂. Any hints and tips would be great. He wants me to use it whilst dominating him at the same time. I’m so just going to burst out laughing! I know it 😂
anyway if you got this far you are a star! And I really appreciate any responses. Ideas for sexting and for face to face would be fabulous!
How lovely it is to have you back. I had a little joy in my heart when I saw you!
Now, dirty talk. Every one is different. I don't think I'm very good at it, but I've found a method that works for us.
So firstly, I'm very graphic. I'll explain what I want him to do to me, or me do to him. He particularly loves me explaining what he feels like in me etc.
Secondly, my language changes depending on context. For example, a raw hard shag contains lots of the c word, f word etc. A slow sensual love making uses softer friendlier terms.
Thirdly, I always say how big he is etc (only when it is true). He loves that and it definitely helps to keep him hard.
Thanks Kinky, I’ve just got back from holiday and he’s going on to two nights so I think I’ll start with a bit more sexting to get us very excited for when he’s home Monday. Hopefully that’ll lead to me being a bit more relaxed and able to verbalise something 😂😂
I know I’ll sound stupid verbalising it but thinking using some aggressive language whilst in the throws of hot passionate sex might be the easiest way in (no pun intended haha!)
Thanks for the fab advice so far, can always rely on you guys!! 😘😘
Ok so I think a bit differently to most people (I'm autistic) but I usually manage to get the idea across.
So your good with sexting, why not turn it up a notch? You said he wants you to use dirty talk while dominating him, so I have assumed there is some degree of bondage or sub/Dom play in the bedroom. You need a code or name for him for when he is to be your sub. Slave, servant, minion, something that suggests low status. Use this term when you sext him and explain as graphically as you like what you expect him to do, or what your going to do to him. Include how much you expect it to hurt or what response your looking for. Eg. I'm going to gag you and spank you until you're but cheeks bleed. (That's maybe too far for the first time but you get the idea.)
Normal sexting you don't use the code or name for him so he knows when you intend to dominate him. A phot of a crop, paddle or gag can go a long way to getting his imagination going. Easy way to start things, photo, then "do you know what I'm going to do to you with this?
Im no good at dirty talk face to face, I loose my nerve, but when I'm dominating hubby I can be forceful and confident with my intentions, and explicit with my demands.
That’s a great idea! Love the idea of giving him a lower status name so he knows what he is in for. Will also help me get into the ‘zone’ so to speak :)
I’d love him to be more domineering but he just can’t do it. He doesn’t seem to have the ability to overrule me- I’m was quite a deviant in my everyday life until recently so it comes naturally to me to push the boundaries and see how strong he can be. Unfortunately not strong enough yet. I’m working on him though 😂
Face to face is completely different. I know I’ll laugh and lose my nerve but I’m going to give it a go anyway. Wish me luck!
Hi it's great to have you back !! Just a thought on quiet dominance. Obviously all my experience is at the reciving end but these are things I have been subjected too when the house is full.... Sandpaper rubbed on bum is quiet but leaves you just as sore as a spanking Ditto stinging nettles !! "Silent punishments " ie corner time before bed Tease him but with consequences for him making a noise. Punishment book..... Last Xmas we was at her daughters and I had to write down in this notebook everything I thought I had done wrong and I was punished when we got home. Anything I missed would be extra... The beauty of this is you actually own up to things they don't know about just in case Hotel !! Everyone needs a dirty weekend away !! As for the sexting experiment as different words and phrases affect people , ie I hate women swearing in the bed room as it turns me stright off. Finally if you try it and it goes wrong then laugh and try again !
That’s a great idea! Love the idea of giving him a lower status name so he knows what he is in for. Will also help me get into the ‘zone’ so to speak :)
I’d love him to be more domineering but he just can’t do it. He doesn’t seem to have the ability to overrule me- I’m was quite a deviant in my everyday life until recently so it comes naturally to me to push the boundaries and see how strong he can be. Unfortunately not strong enough yet. I’m working on him though 😂
A collar or cuffs are also good ways to get into a sub's role. Blindfolds add a level of vulnerability, if this floats your boat.
Starting out with polite requests, then trying the next session with outright requests, and moving through demands when you have more confidence could maybe help you build up your inner Topiness over time. Worked for me anyhow :P
In terms of getting him to be more domineering: I feel this is tricky for some. I struggled to accept my lovely wife would like me to do terrible things during play until I learned to strictly separate the ironic, playful bdsm headspace from the normally completely loving and respectful relationship. After Harvey Weinstein & Trump, dominance & power play can feel all kinds of wrong & really complicated! But it's just play. And the aftercare brings us very much closer.