Tbf I warn my partner if I have something as weak as a common cold, because I feel bad knowing he's probably gonna catch it (he always kisses me anyway lol, but he wanted to!) so yeah I would say something about something like a cold sore. To my knowledge I've never had it, or at least never had an outbreak, so haven't had the experience of it.
Yes man wrote:
My OH suffers from coldsores and as soon as she feels a tingle she puts a total ban on sexual activities! I thought she was being a bit drastic but I accepted her reasons why. But just to prove her point a friend of ours got with a new fella who was her 2nd sexual partner, he went down on her whilst he had a large coldsore on his lips and within days she contracted vaginal herpes really bad! She now has regular outbreaks and at the age of 40 she had just found she had a large sexual appetite but instead its ruined her sex life. So word to the wise as soon as you feel a tingle stop everything, its just not worth risking it!
Aw, sorry for your friend, lots of people still have a great sex life even with herpes, but it's a shame she caught it so young/newly-into-her-sexlife and feels it's ruined it :(
Lots of people have cold sores including children but doesnt mean you are walking sti lol
just dont kiss or do oral when they are active and you will be fine.
Throbinhood wrote:
Lots of people have cold sores including children but doesnt mean you are walking sti lol
just dont kiss or do oral when they are active and you will be fine.
People can pass HSV 1 from their mouth to another person's genitals even when they don't have a visible cold sore so it won't necessarily be "fine". That said, I'm of the opinion that the whole herpes thing is massively blown out of proportion and as the majority of people have herpes, it is absolutely ridiculous that there is so much stigma when it is below the belt.
Yes man wrote:
But just to prove her point a friend of ours got with a new fella who was her 2nd sexual partner, he went down on her whilst he had a large coldsore on his lips and within days she contracted vaginal herpes really bad! She now has regular outbreaks and at the age of 40 she had just found she had a large sexual appetite but instead its ruined her sex life.
You friend has been extremely unlucky. HSV 1 is far less severe genitally than orally so she is very unfortunate to be having regular outbreaks. Most people never have another after the initial outbreak. If she is having regular outbreaks, she can take antivirals. She doesn't have to suffer.
It really shouldn't ruin her sex life and I do wonder how much of that is a lack of confidence or shame about having an STI. If it's the sores, there are treatments. If it's the stigma, there are plenty of people with cold sores having a totally normal sex life. Why should she be any different?
popk1n wrote:
Tbf I warn my partner if I have something as weak as a common cold, because I feel bad knowing he's probably gonna catch it (he always kisses me anyway lol, but he wanted to!) so yeah I would say something about something like a cold sore. To my knowledge I've never had it, or at least never had an outbreak, so haven't had the experience of it.
+1 to this.
I was seeing a guy recently who stopped me mid kissing session to tell me he had a cold sore. I honestly thought it was just a spot 😕