I need to find small and not daunting ways of getting the OH to try new things. He doesnt like the idea of handcuffs or blindfolds, but is partial to spanking.
What can we try that isnt going to put him off..dont want to pressure him?
He's happy to use toys on me, the only things i can think of that arent too crazy he doesnt seem interested in?
If he's shy like my oh it takes time to convince him
What about some nice wrist ties? Same job as handcuffs but not as daunting. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21799
We were a bit like that, I only ever owned a vibe which I got year before I met the OH, when we first got together he was really against the idea of even using toys on me. After talking a little we started buying a few small things and gradually as we spoke more and more things developed from there, all be it slow at first!
Now we are trying things which he will admit were definate no no's in his book but he actually likes after trying! We have not looked back and are loving exploring each other. So my advice is try and get into a mind set of 'you can't know it till you've tried it' - if he tries it and don't like it then that's something else altogether.
Maybe if there are things you want to try on him, you could let him try it on you first and go with a 'you go I go' approach?
Good luck!
Yeah that's a good idea 'don't know until you try'
Thanks.
He just feels awkward discussing things like he can't openly talk about sex-gets frustrating!
Oh they're nice, might not strike as dominatrix to him. Good thinking! Thanks
He's not got a high sex drive so him even just voluntarily spanking me is a good sign, so yeah slowly but surely.
A silky scarf could work as soft restraints, without the "oh it was made for sex, it's not for me" element.. Could introduce this by wearing the scarf out one night and having a little fun on the way home..
It could also be a very good, not total black out blindfold too.. If you got a partially see through one. Being able to partially see might help him feel more comfortable/in control.
I hope this helps!!
Similar here too. I had mentioned handcuffs and he didn't seems interested so I bought some. He opened the delivery box and his eyes were full of fear. In am wishing I had tried the silk and Velcro restrains first. I think it will take a long time for him to come round now I pushed it too much.
touch yourself in front of him but dont cum when you are close or very wet tell him you are and then ask him to fuck you. Say it like that too somereason that turns me on.
I think his issue is the embarrassment & feeling awkward like he'd never role play or talk dirty he'd turn it into a laugh
I've suggested similar to what you've said & the response was an awkward 'if you like?'
Not sure if he's embarrassed to agree lol
JT2610 wrote:
I think his issue is the embarrassment & feeling awkward like he'd never role play or talk dirty he'd turn it into a laugh
I've suggested similar to what you've said & the response was an awkward 'if you like?'
Not sure if he's embarrassed to agree lol
I think its a case of just go with it dont tell him, he wont have time to be embarrised the other thing I would do is over exaggerate your moaning assuming you have your own place haha it will soon get his mind going crazy.
JT2610 wrote:
I think his issue is the embarrassment & feeling awkward like he'd never role play or talk dirty he'd turn it into a laugh
I've suggested similar to what you've said & the response was an awkward 'if you like?'
Not sure if he's embarrassed to agree lol
Don't worry this is totally normal. Learning to communicate with each other is all part of the fun with relationships. We are the other way around and it took us years to communicate openly about our love lives. You need to find a way, for us whilst it was embarrassing it was titillating so we worked on it being a turn on to talk about it. This really moved us on and then our sex life's improved a lot too.
The fetish IOU cards we got from here gave us lots of ideas. You could open them first together and remove any that he really doesn't like.
Hubby and I also wrote down some sexy ideas that we'd like to do. Some were eye openers ;)