Well, I thought with this snowy weather, we could all do with some cheering up . So, how about we all share some jokes / funny phrases etc ?? Doesn't have to be rude either !
I am not the funniest person in the world, I wont pretend to be either ! Lol. But I will try and kick this off with a few things I hope you will enjoy ;
As I said, I'm not funny ! But you get the jist .....
all this snow is getting too much, i personally hate snow its nice when its falling and fresh but thats it.
Haha the pirate joke was pretty good xD i can't think of any jokes :(
Why do elephants have big ears...cus noddy wont pay the ransom.
This has been my fav. joke for years, sad isnt it lol.
This is for all you maths orientated people
e^x is at a party with his friend x^2. e^x is sat in the corner not speaking to anyone, and x^2 says to him " why don't you come join in?". e^x replies "no, I can't integrate!"
Sorry it's sad, but its funny.
mtunreal69 wrote:
This is for all you maths orientated people
e^x is at a party with his friend x^2. e^x is sat in the corner not speaking to anyone, and x^2 says to him " why don't you come join in?". e^x replies "no, I can't integrate!"
Sorry it's sad, but its funny.
I'm going to let my dork flag fly and point out that e^x does integrate, it's e^x! *hangs head in pedantic shame*
xxKPxx
Ok - I stole this off but it's Christmasy and made me smile... I can even link it to a product!
'Why was Santa's Little Helper feeling depressed?'........ (s)he had low elf-esteem
lol well it integrates to itself. certainly not to the factorial of x. difficult to write these things online.KittyPurry wrote:
mtunreal69 wrote:
This is for all you maths orientated people
e^x is at a party with his friend x^2. e^x is sat in the corner not speaking to anyone, and x^2 says to him " why don't you come join in?". e^x replies "no, I can't integrate!"
Sorry it's sad, but its funny.
I'm going to let my dork flag fly and point out that e^x does integrate, it's e^x! *hangs head in pedantic shame*
xxKPxx
At the risk of sounding completely daft - I really am not understanding this maths joke ....
LH Bonny - Very funny ! Lol
Katenwb - Made me smile
Yeah i dont understand the maths joke either but then i laugh at noddy jokes.
i got really emotional today at the petrol station.i dont no why ,i just started filling up......
dont you just hate people who knockon your door collecting for charity.i had one last nite collecting for the local sperm bank.i gave her a right mouthfull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh boo, it's supposed to be 'I try to integrate but it doesn't change a thing'
^_^ xxx
an atom says to another atom 'I think I've lost an electron' , the other says 'are you sure' and he says 'yeah, I'm positive'
lol
js wrote:
dont you just hate people who knockon your door collecting for charity.i had one last nite collecting for the local sperm bank.i gave her a right mouthfull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehehehehe!!
xGHx
How is a man like a snow?
You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
He heard the snow blower coming.
What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What's an ig?
An eskimo's home without a loo!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!
How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !
What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !
How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !
What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !
How do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !
I really ought to get out more!
Home is where 127.0.0.1 is
If you work in IT that either causes groans or laughs
Sam66 --- lovin the snow jokes !!! Perfect for the weather !!! lol
A lad is sitting on the bus when he spots a really beautiful girl. He's dying to make conversation but can't do it. Suddenly she starts looking around just checking everyone out on the bus when the bus jerks forward. The girl's head whiplashes in his direction and he sees something flying past him and plucks it straight out of the air. "Oh my god" she says "how embarrassing!" the lad looks in his hand to see a glass eye and hands it back to the girl. "thankyou so much" she says as she puts it back in. "Please, can I take you out for a meal as a thankyou as I would've been lost without it!" the lad eagerly accepts. She takes him for dinner, they chat and have a few drinks then she offers to take him the cinema too. After the movie she asks him back to her place as she's enjoyed his company so much. "I just don't understand" he says. "you are so beautiful and could probably have any guy you wanted. Why did you pick me?" she replies "I don't know, you just caught my eye!" :-p SG x
that made me chuckle
suicide_note_pt2 wrote:
Oh boo, it's supposed to be 'I try to integrate but it doesn't change a thing'
^_^ xxx
an atom says to another atom 'I think I've lost an electron' , the other says 'are you sure' and he says 'yeah, I'm positive'
lol
lol, I realise this having read the joke again, wrote it in a hurry. Being an experimental physicist shouldn't really miss these things. I blame the concentration on all you damn sexy people!