For a site allowing you to have it on your profile that your looking for a sub, slave etc, and or a long term relationship.... I don't think fetlife is just a social networking site like facebook that people seem to think, other wise I don't think they would have such options. Creating a specific thread for flirting isn't really an answer to the issue, coming down harder on it is all that's really needed, though it would require the mods to actually do something about it, as members telling each other off only leads to flame wars.
Ork hon' i wasn't telling anyone off... simply fed up of being ignored or feel like i'm interrupting others flirt only conversations. Threads and this site weren't set up so people could hook up. Not trying to start a war... but very unhappy that i try to add to threads and get bumped out because people would rather rub up against each other. Plus I find more and more the only time some people want to chat is when I have a body shot pic on here. This thread is to remind, but has also served well to show me those people who do want to chat and say hi. Which is a positive thing :))
I was talking to my gf about something similar the other night. When we come on here we have noticed certain folk seem to follow others around a lot, always ready to answer with a "complimentary" remark.
I agree 100% here with you and WeeSteve, since I have been a member for nearly a year I can confirm just before Christmas there has been a lot more flirting going on in the Off-Topic threads.
Perhaps we should make a thread called "Flirt here, not in other threads!" for those who like to flirt as if flirting happens between two (or more) people in a random thread, people like myself and others do feel discouraged to post there.
I was talking to my gf about something similar the other night. When we come on here we have noticed certain folk seem to follow others around a lot, always ready to answer with a "complimentary" remark. Or the way a lot of guys seem to slant every conversation towards flirty talk and they are completely blatant about it. As a guy myself, i find it amusing that they don't seem to give a feck that they look so desperate to see every convo go down the same road.
I find it confusing that this thread is supposed to be on the subject of flirting, and people are talking about how rude and inconsiderate it is to engage in filthy talk, dogging, and cyber sex on the threads and using it as a dating site!!
After reading some of the comments on this thread I did initially think "Wow really!! For heavens sake lighten up"!
In my mind being flirtatious and being filthy isn't at all the same thing. Flirting is cheeky, suggestive and when it comes to threads like word association game there's bound to be innuendo and banter due to the nature of the game (eg: one word makes you think of another word).
I am guilty of being a bit flirty but it's just my nature and I don't mean to offend anyone so sorry if I have at any time. The lack of chat facility means it's hard to have one to one friendships with other LH members.
Please don't put flirty people in the same catgory as those who as interested in filth an exploit this site as a free sex chat link. It's not at all the same thing.
I've looked at fetlife but it scared me a bit, not really my sort of thing so I joined TTurtle chat a while ago, but mainly use email now to my LH best frined.
In honesty page after page of nothing but two people flirting takes it a bit beyond normal, not just that but flirting on here geneally leads to cyber sex, as the majority (I say majority but in reality I think probably all) the people flirting are only here for cyber sex etc... it's one thing friends etc doing it now and then, but when entire threads derail so people can flirt with each other, it's just not funny. Game's like word association etc, have a common problem that if it's just two people posting no one else will, and a few time's I've seen LH have to step in, as flirting became blatant "I want to do x, y and z to you".
Over all it's becoming a big issue, and really it's not constructive to the forum over all.
Agreed. If people want to flirt like mad... add an email to your profile and let people find you that way.
I'm ok with people having a little light flirting on threads, only if its a couple of comments though, there are other places for it to be honest... Not everyone likes to read their flirty conversations. Sometimes i want to reply to a thread but instead just left it because there are just people flirting with each others instead. It is a little off putting for me. Give each other your email address or something, and flirt in private.
Do you want to know something else which is funny... since posting this thread certain people have stopped talking to me full stop. So I guess it wasn't even friendly chat, at least I know who wants what from me now lol. :)
Don't get disheartened HGL, but I agree totally with your initial points, but perhaps flirting is the wrong word, given that most of the posts seem to outright blatant, as opposed to the fun, flirting banter we used to experience. To be honest, I used to point this out to people and highlight the rules etc, but I seemed to be in the minority and felt like I was being some kind of strict parent as no-one else seemed to be bothered so I just stopped posting here.
This makes me sad as I have been a member a fair old while now and made some good friends, and to be honest those friendships were made without the chat function so that isn't the reason. I was a member here before chat was a function and we all got along and had some good laughs fine...
Lh do act if people report posts and I know people have been banned before for their behaviour, however I also know that some of those people just create different IDs and are back here and am sure behaving in the exact same way.
Trouble is because Lh is a sex toy retailer, it seems to mean that some mentalities of people will assume that we all want to get naked and wank for each other all day long...
Don't think there is an answer to this, other than the self-policing that used to work really well.
It's frustrating to have an interest in something (sex toys) that a lot of people misunderstand or try to exploit. I don't have proper chats with the people on this forum, I tend to just play games or ask/answer questions, but I have noticed quite a few names which keep popping up that seem genuine, friendly and respectable. Not all of the Lovehoneyers are here just for cyber, unfortunately it seems like those who are outweigh the rest of us sometimes.
Trouble is because Lh is a sex toy retailer, it seems to mean that some mentalities of people will assume that we all want to get naked and wank for each other all day long...
I very much agree. I had this in person from people when the chat function existed, wound me up big time. I've noticed an increase in forum posts of that kind. I try to ignore them but it's still annoying.
Not all of the Lovehoneyers are here just for cyber, unfortunately it seems like those who are outweigh the rest of us sometimes.
there is quite a small amount of members - compared to other forums - and so people do tend to form their own cliques and friendships and flirting habits. dont take it personally! i dont really tend to get a personal reply when commenting in threads that arent my own. but people here are really friendly! ive commented on here several times about completely random subjects where i wanted help or views on something, or just a rant .
obviously youre going to get some blunt or unfriendly people, but dont take it to heart! this is my first/only forum and i used to thing stuff was personal, but kinda used to it now and how it works
I'm quite new to the Forum, and I understand the rules about not flirting or trying to use the forum as a pick-up site, but this thread is making me a bit worried. When does being friendly and polite become flirting??
I appreciate Lovehoney-Hella's point that this is a forum attached to an e-commerce site, but if it was all about business then why even have an "Off-Topic" Board? For any Forum to be a success it has to be fun for the users as well as informative, and I can't see the problem with making fun comments about a persons avatar or engaging in a bit of friendly repartee. Having witnessed a good deal of this in various posts I got the impression that this was a friendly and fun forum where such comments were accepted, so I have made posts along these lines myself. But I suppose my comments could be construed by some as flirting, although that was most definitely not my intention when the posts were made.
So, where do you actually draw the line?? At what point do those people complaining of flirting on the site consider that a friendly fun comment becomes a flirt.??
I'm the new guy here, please give me some guidance. The last thing I want to do is upset any of the forum members either as a group or on an individual basis.
Having witnessed a good deal of this in various posts I got the impression that this was a friendly and fun forum where such comments were accepted, so I have made posts along these lines myself.
It is supposed to be a fun and friendly site, don't worry I don't the stuff they're on about is the same thing that we're are on about.
Judging by the numerous negative posts on this thread I've come to the conclusion that I've obviously missed something a far as inappropriate chat is concerned, sounds like there must be stuff going on that has just passed me by, but I've not posted as much recently.
I think that off topic game threats are ok, if it gets bit off topic, but it should not make people uncomfortable. I agree with Hella, that some people may not take well to read something like 'great tits btw'
I know, the person posted the photo, but those comments should not appear. Some people may really not like that.
The problem is that many topics I posted on just turned into a huge place where 2 or 3 put flirt comment after flirt comment, after flirt comment, and the original topic was lost. And it is extremely annoying when this happens. And it does hugely discourage people. Imagine you posted a topic of your interest, maybe seeking advise on lets say anal sex and 2 people started to have a flirt there, ignoring everyone else, not caring about the original poster. Yes, I did see topics like that.
For me, this is not something which should happen, but it does. And I also remember recent threat of a newbiew who mentioned she was single and immediately had lot of guys asking her to mail them. This is not acceptable for me.
And I am sort of noticing the changes more recently. Like MM said, in the past, there was a sence of community and respect. But lately I am really struggling to fit in, somehow.
(if that's not too flirty)
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