My husband and I have a very active sex life. Neither of us are shy and we're both up for trying new things (which we have done alot of lately).
However, my husband, in the last couple of sessions, keeps asking me to tell him what I want him to do to me - like actual step by step instructions (Orally, toys and hands etc...not full penetration - just thought I'd point that out).
Now my problem isn't that im shy and will get embarassed doing this, even though he thinks it is, my actual problem is I don't have a clue what to say when he asks me. My mind just goes completely blank I'm sure as I got into it more it would be fine and just flow but to just start I haven't a clue what to say at all?????
Has anyone else gone through this?
I have no problem when he is doing stuff to me telling him if I like it or not so I dunno what's going on :S
Could you show him some porn that has things you would like to do in it?
You could find something that really gets you going and ask him to act it out on you, maybe?
You might just be getting lost in the moment. Try doing a scenario via texting each other then let him take over
I'm exactly the same!
Not shy, just complete mind blank when asked during sex. When I do manage to say anything, I have to be ridiculously in the moment (I'm most chatty during the build up to anal!) but I really struggle the rest of the time.
I don't really have any advice on this one, just wanted to say you're not alone!
I'm totally usless if my partner askes me what I want him to do.
After along time I will find out toys etc for him to use but talking to him I go silent.
I'm sure eventually it"ll just happen.
But I can't see him asking again for a while he just ordered a few things from LH for us to try he seems to have a new appetite for bondage so this mite keep him occupied
Write down things - phrases/ words etc that you could use and practice saying them loads. Sounds a bit weird but once you get used to saying these things they'll come a lot more naturally to you when you need them. Also sending sexy texts can be a good way of getting familiar with what you want to say without you having to speak it directly to him. It'll turn him on no end too :)
Good luck x
I am the same. I'm very open with sex but when someone springs a question on me (any random question tbh) my mind goes blank.
I prefer talking about it When I am in the build up to sex. Have fun with the bondage :)
None of us are complete sexperts. We are all still learning all the time . As the other have suggested start texting each other first and your confidence will increase.