Ooo hugs for her!! Now's the time to do your knight in shining armour routine though and give her some TLC
it was about 4 months ago and i certainly tried. Took the day of work to wait on her hand and foot so to speak...
spankmebaby wrote:
If she has a mirena coil fitted, be aware that one of the biggest ( and unadvised by the medcal professionExternal Media ) side effects is total loss of libido.
Wow! I have a Mirena coil fitted and my libido is STILL through the roof...I dread to think what it would be like without it!
I think there's different contraceptions to suit different people at different times of their lives. I have had the coil for 6 years and never had a problem with it but that's not to say it would be good for everyone. I think the best thing to do is go to the GP or GUM clinic and just have a chat and maybe a trial till you find one that suits you.
xxKPxx
I really don't think the contraceptives are the problem. She was on the pill for years with lengthy periods of no contraception. It did not affect her sex drive in anyway. The fundamental problem has not changed regardless of method.
Shadowking dude. I feel for you mate. No matter what anyone suggests seems to be not going to work. It maybe something you've just got to live with and it's the way she is, it's only a problem for you and not for her as that's the norm for her. Is she happy with the way things are now? If yes, why would she want to change? As bad as this may sound but sexually you don't seem to be compatible at all.
I wish you all the luck in the world fella.
SG69
Folks many of you have posted great ideas and advice to me a few weeks ago. I just want to say thanks to you all.
We sat down about a month ago and talked over our issues for about 4 hours and we have resolved some of the more significant ones over the last month or so. Things are not prefect but we are making good steps to resolve our problems. I can thank you folks enough as some of your advice was right on the money. We have a way to go but things are most definitely improving!!!
Cheers people
Shandowking
Nice one SK *thumbs up!* SG
Shadowking thanks for letting us know how you are getting on. It's nice to hear that you are both working through things. I hope that it continues. Good luck with the future. x
Great to hear that, it's fantastic news. The best sex tip is always communication.
Alone4ever: I have gone and read your other posts. No words will ever change what happened to you and nothing that is said will ever heal the wounds that were caused to you. I am truely sorry for what happened to you.
Thankfully for me my issues with my wife where alot more straight forward and simple. When talking 2 main issued presented themselves:
I discovered something that i would never have believed in a million years:
The main issue (No. 1) that caused so much pain to me in our relationship was that my tall, sexy, beautiful wife had serious body issues with herself. I look at her everyday and think how lucky i am to have her and she looks at herself and see's something different to almost everyone else on the planet.
Believe it or not this was solved relatively easily. I have a gym in work that i use 4 days a week but my wife does not have this Luxury. She and i have now both joined a local gym and train together after work most days.
She has rediscovered a love for swimming and has become alot happier with herself almost immediately because she was able to do something about her body ( there is nothing wrong with it at ALL) other than going for a walk once or twice a week when i am off.
The other issue (No. 2) is that my wife does not have any sexual imagination at all! Seriously!!! She has only ever had me for a sexual partner, has never read or seen pornography and only ever had one other boyfriend before i came along (She had lots of requests including 2 of my friends but alway politely declined). Again this has been relatively easy to solve:
I asked if she would like to see some pornography and she politely declined. I did not force the issue and did not mention it again.
I bought her a book: Sensational Sex by Dr Pam Spurr ( chosen with care: Female author, doctor, well respected in her field as these are all the things my wife would look for) and gave it to her as a present. To my delight she has read it and become a little more adventurous over the last month.
I then tried something a bit out of my own comfort zone last week:
I wrote down six different things i would like to try and a step by step guide on how to do them. Each is handwritten on nice paper and put into an envelop ( i didn't seal them but each looks a little like a wedding invitation type display (my wife can be quite arty and loves that kind of thing). i then put them together with a cover note into a nice package explaining that these are some of the things i would like us to try but only if she wanted to. It said that i would never mention them again unless she did first and i hoped for the best. I bought her some flowers and gave her the note and the flowers. She read the cover note and said she would have a read.
30 minutes later i was greeted by my wife walking into the living room in her sexiest underwear and dragging me off to the bedroom. She loved her "instructions". We are now 2 down and 4 to go. 2 months ago sex twice a week hadn't happened since our honeymoon!
There were a few other issues that came out that we are still working on but i thought it best to let everyone know how it went and also what i did to correct my problems.
Cheers Folks
Footnote to Columbus: Your previous post on massage was the 1st one on the list we tried but in a slightly different variation. Thankyou!
Shadowking I know I posted earlier but had to post again just to WOW! It seems like you are really getting there, the letter idea was brilliant! Who knows in the future your wife might do the same for you one day. It was nice to hear what you did to try resolve the problems. Good luck for the future, both of you. x
That's fantastic, i'm so pleased for you! xx
She has just sent me a wish list! How cool is that!
shadowking wrote:
She has just sent me a wish list! How cool is that!
Fantastic! This wish list is a great tool to add to your communicating.