So me and my oh were playing monogamy , the rule we were playing is if we were not comfortable with the card we could put the the bottom and pick another.
she picked the card that told her to get a camera and let he inner pornstar go wild. She said that she trusts me and that she would do it, but she didn’t want to do it because she feels self conscious and wouldn’t want to see herself.
my metaphorical jaw dropped, because I never thought she would entertain the idea of making a sex tape and such have never mentioned it. For me it would be a massive turn on and its all I can think about now.
So its been a week or two since, how do I bring it up? What can I say and do to make her feel less self conscious to do it? I already compliment her, tell her she is amazing and beautiful.
I had a previous partner that filmed us without my knowledge! He blindfolded me under the pretence of a bit of bondage, in reality he just didnt want me to see the camera! To say I was upset and annoyed is an understatement! I too have issues with self confidence and wouldn't feel comfortable watching it back. If he had asked me, I probably would have agreed on the premise that the video was for his eyes only. The problem is that he showed lots of his friends, which obviously damaged my self confidence even more. Plus, we weren't really in a relationship, we were technically just FWB so that made it worse for me as I'd probably only make a video with a long term partner whom I fully trust. Needless to say, the'relationship' didn't last long after that incident.
Thinking about it, all of my past relationships have been truly awful (I've only ever had 3 partners! ). From 2 abusive relationships, one of those who was also an alcoholic, and a completely trustless FWB relationship. It's no wonder that I have been single for 6 years really!
I had a previous partner that filmed us without my knowledge! He blindfolded me under the pretence of a bit of bondage, in reality he just didnt want me to see the camera!
To say I was upset and annoyed is an understatement! I too have issues with self confidence and wouldn't feel comfortable watching it back. If he had asked me, I probably would have agreed on the premise that the video was for his eyes only. The problem is that he showed lots of his friends, which obviously damaged my self confidence even more. Plus, we weren't really in a relationship, we were technically just FWB so that made it worse for me as I'd probably only make a video with a long term partner whom I fully trust.
Needless to say, the'relationship' didn't last long after that incident.
Thinking about it, all of my past relationships have been truly awful (I've only ever had 3 partners! ). From 2 abusive relationships, one of those who was also an alcoholic, and a completely trustless FWB relationship.
It's no wonder that I have been single for 6 years really!
Ah sorry to hear that, some guys can be jerks. Me and my oh are ~5years together. strictly my eyes ownly
I don't think I could make a tape... My OH would love to but I am just to scared it would leak out. Maybe if i was the one in possesion of the tape at all times and know there is no copys. xx
Would something like skype cam suffice for your fantasy? It might be easier for her if it's not kept forever.
Would it help her if you were the guinea pig for a trial run? That could reduce the unknown aspect of filming, leaving just the sex aspect to cope with. Just be careful about not putting pressure on her to reciprocate unless she wants to.
It will probably be easier for her if she only has to get her head around one type of exposure. What could be done towards that? Soft lighting? A baby doll or chemise? Maybe a mask or just keeping her face out of it?
The suggestion to let her 'inner pornstar go wild' could well be adding to her discomfort. A lot of women don't relate to what goes on in stereotypical porn and any recording she does for you or you do together needs to be in keeping with her own sexuality and sexual expression.
My OH & I made a tape. It was fun! It's so much better watching it back (just have to make sure you hide it from kids & in laws etc). If she's self conscious use soft lighting & perhaps lingerie that may help?
I would say definitely wear masks or keep faces out of frame if you do make a sex tape, at least then if something happens in the relationship or someone else gets hold of the video they'll have a bloody hard job proving it's you!
I'd never film myself but I have sent naughty pictures before, of course never showing my face incase family, friends or god forbid employers/colleagues ever recognised me!
I really couldn't do that myself; my gf and I have enough body-image problems without setting up a camera.
But if we were, I'd probably suggest doing a 'dry run'; set up the camera, in situ, but don't have a memory card/tape in it, so she can learn to forget the camera is there, but also, it might help her feel less self-conscious, knowing that at least this time, it's not being filmed and there'll be no embarrassing regret later on.
I don't know if you guys think it's a daft idea, but I thought it was a sensible compromise. That said, if, upon suggesting it, she's still not up for it, best to leave the idea in the realm of fantasy and not to push it.
We've done it several times now. It's all about trust would never share with anyone. My wife has now even initiated this. It actually helped her over come some of her insecurities.
For a wonderful anniversary weekend stay we went and chose 3 lots of lingerie to together before we went. We had a bit of a roll play thing going she was the model and I was the photographer we had a video cam as well (all on sd cards and kept with sex toys). She modelled the outfits ,kept the sexiest till last then told me to tell her how to pose. It got more and more erotic. The catch was I was not allowed to touch her . The roll play was that we were supposed to try and keep it as professional as pos.
Her twist came when I was as horny as hell. She got out her Rabbit and told me to film her with it. Very special anniversary. She doesn't like to whatch them either but happy for me to take them when I am working away.
Actions speak louder than words it's note enough to tell her she is beautiful. Show her that you fancy her and that you think she's beautiful it may help