It's very very very very very hot. But it only works with two very confident and open partners
This is one of the most erotic things you can do for each other.
However women have much more anxiety to over come. Its such a private and feminine intimate thing to share. All the body issues flood in and hold you back.
Please let me reassure you every man finds it stunning that his lover will open her legs and her pussy show him herself in this vulnerable sexualy aroused state. Stimulate herself showing off her inner beauty and how she gets it more aroused . Wet open and desirable hopefully to the orgadmic tremble and shudder.
Yes what man would niot be massively turned on by it.
Go for it and it will empower you.
I found the best and most exciting way to overcome this was a direct approach. Wait until your partner is downstairs or in the shower, and basically let your partner catch you masterbating. Shout them to come upstairs or wait for them to come out the shower. When they see you they'll be with you in a flash. Toys can be a great addition to this too. I have done this a few times now and my O/H has done this too. Its hot and exciting.
When my OH and I first met, she was very self-conscious about this too.
I expressed my desire to see her masturbate and explained how much it would turn me on.
I found that if we were in bed together, and I started first, she'd join in after watching me for a while. When she really got into it is watch her and occasionally stroke her arm or graze her thigh. Eventually she became comfortable initiating it herself, and now even demands that I get her toys for her!
Perhaps this approach could work for your and your OH? Although you are self-conscious, remember that he wants to be with you, finds you sexy and arousing, and would be privileged to watch you at your most intimate 
My girlfriend and I have never had problems in this area, we have always been quite willing to masturbate in front of each other, sometimes with hands, sometimes with toys.
My advice is to turn each other on first, kiss the neck, the ears, the nipples, anything that turns you on, and only then ask your partner to masturbate for you or offer to do it yourself.
Discussion is always the best solution in these situations!
The oh and I have both done it it is such a turn on watching each other and we always cum
Ok here goes a wild suggestion.
A dimly lit bedroom, your favourite sexy outfit, the one you feel most confident in, then blindfold your OH while he/she is laying on the bed, with whatever comes to hand, tie, scalf etc if you don't have a blindfold. Then slowly whisper in his ear that your going to play solo, and that he can listen, but not see.
A glass of wine before might help you with your confidence, and wearing a pair of jiggle balls earlier in the day should get you excited and in the mood. If you lose your nerve and can't finish what you start, just straddle your partner and give them oral, all will be forgiven.
I hope this gives you some ideas.
You could always lie next to each other and do it under the duvet and as you get braver slowly kick the duvet off of you.