My biggest turn on would be my wife to masturbate in front of me, know my wife has told me she has masturbated but always gets uptight if I mention when did you last masturbate? She always says I can’t remember and says can we talk about something else. After some discussion she has agreed to masturbate with a vibrator in front of me but says she is very nervous, I have suggested maybe she wears a blindfold so it want a make it to embarrassing for her. Anyone else had this ? Or advice on how to make it easier for my wife all help would be greatly appreciated.
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If she’s not 100% comfortable then I would leave it alone and maybe let her do it on her terms if and when she feels comfortable. If she does it to please you but doesn’t feel uncomfortable in herself, she won’t enjoy it.
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Have you thought about her watching you at the same time? That may help relieve some performance nerves. 👍
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I would tend agree with post, it will be her who decides if and when she ready to share this experience with you. You could introduce mutual masterbation as foreplay, but again it will take communication and time.EmmaC1989 wrote:
If she’s not 100% comfortable then I would leave it alone and maybe let her do it on her terms if and when she feels comfortable. If she does it to please you but doesn’t feel uncomfortable in herself, she won’t enjoy it.
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EmmaC1989 wrote:
If she’s not 100% comfortable then I would leave it alone and maybe let her do it on her terms if and when she feels comfortable. If she does it to please you but doesn’t feel uncomfortable in herself, she won’t enjoy it.
This was my initial feeling too, an eventual yes after nagging/badgering (not saying that is the case here) is not consent, it should be freely given and importantly enthusiastic, anything less should be backed off from and at least given time and space. The fact that she doesn't like to discuss when she does it in private suggests to me this really wouldn't be something she would get enjoyment from.
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Another question Have you ever demonstrated your solo play skills to her? Perhaps if you go first she may relax a bit and see that solo play doesn’t have to be something exclusively private and that occasionally the sharing of this part of your sex life is quite erotic and worthwhile.
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I tease her into doing it, by going down on her until she's warmed up, place her hand down there and let her carry on until she's gushing. I can concentrate on the rest of her body which makes the climax even more intense... She of course does the same for me, sometimes we never get into the main act after enjoying each other's self-service too much :)
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My wife was the same, she was quite nervous and somewhat embarrased about doing it infront of me initially, so i used to use her favourite toy on her myself and give her a good seeing to as another member listed above and then slowly take your hand away and let her carry on herself.
Once shes in the mood and all warmed up, you shouldnt have any issues, but everyone is different.
Try this, it worked for me and it will only get easier in time when she sees her performance have that affect on you and she'll want to do it again.
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My wife drifted into it gradually.
She has always needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm and some of the positions we use mean that I couldn't reach her clitoris easily so I suggested that she should take the initiative. She's now quite happy to stimulate herself during penetration or foreplay or even just so that I can watch. It's my favourite spectator sport.
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Personally I masturbate a fair amount, probably 5 or 6 times a week. I also sometimes stimulate myself if we are in a position that doesnt offer much clitoral stimulation and I'm ok with my husband seeing that. However when I masturbate it's probably not the sexiest of scenes 😆 so I wouldn't do it with him watching me x
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What you think is not the sexiest scene may well be the sexiest scene your OH has ever seen
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Great responses here already, especially around consent. I just wanted to add a plus one for doing it together, and/or starting by playing with each other simultaneously, and then the spare hand on yourselves, perhaps a gradual transition. Loving verbal feedback and adoration as well as your obvious excitement might be encouraging, if she’s up for trying it together.
My wife admits to me she’s a compulsive masturbater, I work nights every other week and she admits she masterbates every night I’m not there but when it comes to masterbating in front of me she can be completely different, she’ll touch herself, she’ll play with her clit but for only for a few seconds and definitely not to any conclusion! And weirdly even though she had all manner of toys and items in her pussy there is no way she’ll put her own fingers in there! I’d love to watch her play with herself to a final explosion but I know it’s probably not gonna happen so i stay happy with everything else I get from her.
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There’s nothing I’d like more than to have my wife masturbate in front of me and with me. She’s quite happy for me to do myself in front of her and no problem with doing me herself but when the roles are reversed it’s a definite no go. She never even really talks about sex let alone discussion about such intimate things. I haven’t got a clue where to go from here…sorry not much help.
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My OH isn’t into masterbation either. I gently pressed it in the past but she made it clear it’s not something she’s bothered about. She’s pretty much had a partner since she was 17 (that’s a long time ago!)
Something we’ve talked about is she restrains and blindfolds me and then plays a bit with her wand (we use this for couples play) - she hopefully won’t feel self conscious as I can’t see her and use it as a warm up to the main event.
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The biggest turn-on for me is to watch my Wife masturbate with a Lifelike Lover Ultra 8" inch Dildo whilst I use a Fleshlight on myself so we can for masturbate together for maximum pleasure.
I was definitely nervous to begin with as my OH loves it… But now we do it together frequently… Massive turn on for both of us! Let her do it in her own time but just reassure her she has nothing to worry about. Doing at the same time will help, we usually put some porn on to set the mood if you’re both into that thing?
Xx
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The wife and I have been together 23 years now.
I was 20 and she 17. We have had a really varied sex life so far. I think if you feel comfortable together then anything is possible. We really enjoy masturbating in front of each other. But it took time to get to this stage
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I think it’s a big turn on watching my wife masturbate , with her fingers or her toy of choice
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I’m with you all the way on this one. Such a turn on.!!
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