Can anyone help me ? Im a 58 yr old male and my sex drive (masturbating and arousal state) has somewhat diminished over the past couple of years. When i do feel aroused im not always able to get a full erection or if im lucky i have a problem maintaining one unless having to use a cock ring.
Its really the state of arousal that im having a problem with as my wife has gone off sex and its solo fun from here on in.
Whilst I am not a fan of porn being totally honest , I could see that helping in your situation. .
Are you on any meds?
You may want to talk to your doctor, it could be realted to medicine side affects, a testosterone issue, etc. I woudl start there.
There are so many reasons why libido might decrease or erections might not be as strong such as a hormone imbalance (testosterone, thyroid etc), a side effect of medication, relationship issues, stress or depression, alcohol consumption, and probably loads more things. I'd definitely have a talk with your GP. They will have a lot of experience with this sort of thing so may be able to find a cause or come up with some solutions you may not have considered.
Certainly worth getting it checked with the GP first as there may be an underlying medical problem, possibly one thats fixable. If not them I agree with a few others porn may help x
I echo what some of the others have said, speak to your Dr just to get all the medical side of things ruled out - this is an awful lot that can have an effect on these things.
Although your wife has gone off of sex, would she be open to cuddling etc while you have your 'solo fun'? It might make things seem a little less isolated and separate, if that is bothering you at all :)
I'm a 57 year old male and I think it kind of goes with the territory. I've found that for me when doing solo (which unfortunately for me is a lot lately) that a change up can be important. Try getting yourself in the mood in different ways. I will actually spend the day thinking about what I will do to myself and for myself that night.
I'll make it a special solo occasion in my mind. Think of your deepest fantasies - maybe some you've always wanted to do but never have.
Read erotic literature. I've found that porn can be great but the more it is separated in time and mind from actual physical memory (the smell, the sensation of touch etc.) the harder it is to become arroused.
If you once had an amazing sex life with your wife recall the best moments you had with her while you masturbate. Try getting some of her dirty underwear: smell them, caress the cloth and think of those best special moments you had with her (the only risk here is that it makes you feel melancholy for those times).
Smell and all the chemistry that goes with it (if you've loved her a long time and have great memories there are definitely by now certain neurons in your brain that WILL respond) actually do fire certain receptors in the brain.
Also you might go to a doctor and explain what's happening. You may have low testosterone levels, which for men, unlike women who lack libido, can be easily remedied.
Keep searching - as we grow older our bodies tip towards pain - one of the best ways of staying young is to continue to seek the pleasure that the flesh can also give.
It maybe sounds a bit strange, but my dad is a diabetic and 'apparantly' has the same problems, so if you are a trip to the GP sounds like a good idea. But as previously mentioned porn is not a bad idea, there's plenty of free stuff on the internet if you want to give it a try.