All -- this is long and I apologise in advance. Thanks to anyone who reads the whole thing!
My OH has been my only partner. We seem never to have been very sexually active and have been together for 20 years. She is a wonderful mum and my best friend. We have been through periods (sometimes full years with health issues) with very little sex. We are now having sex around 12 times a year which is great progress. I now would like to make progress to something more exciting.
I think it's reasonable that we would - make intimate time a priority, create a sense of anticipation, indulge each other. At the moment we sort of agree that we need to break the fast during the day at the weekend then go through with something routine at the end of the day which seems to cross it off the list for another month.
I am very jealous of those on here that enjoy this more often and with more variety.
I think I have two options: I can either withdraw and just let my frustration build up over time and get unhappy about it. This is what I'd do by default. I really want to do something positive and want to tell her that I'm trying to improve this and do something to make this better.
For those of you with more experience: should I be candid about what I'm trying to fix? (we never talk about sex) and do you have any small suggestions for what to do that would show I would like to explore more with her without being creepy or being a heavy expectation?
She either has no fantasies or won't share them so I have nothing to open the door on to start.
Finally, I would love to know whether anyone else has gone from a vanilla, loving, long-term relationship to something more exciting?
Thanks in advance!