Sometimes I really annoy myself. So I’m a larger lady, in recent years I’ve opened up to the hubby that I enjoy watching female female porn. So now we watch it together, we have been to strip clubs together and generally enjoy ourselves, we joined fab to see if I could play with a woman, which I haven’t yet.
However my brain annoys me, I sometimes feel bad for wanting to watch porn, and when my hubbie raises going to a strip club club again I worry that as a female I shoudnt want to go and I won’t be welcome, however when we go it’s fine. He raised the possibility of getting a tantric massage and I’m concerned that because I’m larger they won’t want to massage me.
I know I’m being stupid, but what can I do to be totally comfortable in what I enjoy, I think a large part of it is my Christian up bringing.
A nifty trick I learnt from therapy is to try challenge the negative thoughts and rationalise them… so like with going to a strip club, if your mind is saying stuff, you can then tell it that you’ve been before, had a great time and was happily accepted 
Awe I guess it’s hard, just go with what you like, everyone in the world is different.
Try searching the butterfly hug for when your feeling bad it’s a Neuro technique that works
If it helps, I’d love to go to a strip club!
Although you’ve not met a lady on fab yet, have you been to any social events? That may help soothe your concerns about being a lady that enjoys sex. There are sex clubs as well where you may well meet someone that you’re interested in. They sometimes have bbw events, which I think would be great for your confidence.
I do also have fears of going to a masseuse and thinking they may not want to touch me. I don’t want them touching me either, kinda makes it hard to get a massage lol
Shame is a terrible thing - and pointless when it comes to (consensual) sex. In my experience, the more shame you can eliminate from masturbation, sex, watching porn, fantasies, kinks, etc, the happier you and your partner(s) will be. I am not saying there is any easy answer, but it’s worth the effort, and being on a forum like this helps.