by @Rob36 , 21/03/22
Lovehoney Juno Rechargeable Music-Activated Vibrating Egg (Product Link)
A toy with an identity crisis!
We were sent this to test in return for an honest review and after a week of trying it out in various situations here are our thoughts.
When we received the email saying this was being sent to us we were intrigued and excited. We’ve never owned anything like this and the thought of a music activated toy put ideas straight into my head. HaRead more about review stating A toy with an identity crisis!
Having read the description we were sent I immediately started planning a ‘test playlist’ of songs, mostly bass heavy as the blurb said this was the best way to get good results, but with a variety of genres. John Deacon’s opening riff on Queens ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ was the first on the list, offering a defined, punchy rhythm. Dizzee Rascals ‘Baseline Junkie’ was an obvious choice, aiming for a fast paced pulsing. Plenty of other tunes from drum & bass to thrash metal were added to a list to give a wide variety of rhythms, speeds and patterns, in the hope that the toy would react differently to each song chosen based on tempo and volume.
When the package arrived (I’ll skip the usual 'discreet packaging, ‘tasteful & well designed box’ bits as I’m sure you’re far more interested in the contents after all) it was immediately opened to put the toy on charge. Easy to do with a simple USB cable and a double ended wire to enable both the toy and remote to be charged at once.
At this point the first hint of an ‘identity crisis’ became apparent. The toy is sold as a ‘vibrating egg’. Now I’ve eaten many an egg in my life, both the shelled variety and a fair few Easter ones too. None are shaped like this. Yes the product detail describes it as a bullet but why then call it an egg, unless said bullet is to be inserted into something egg-shaped? This would actually have been a bloody good idea. Even before inserting it into the OH’s lady parts it was obviously going to be a struggle to provide much internal stimulation given its size. It’s too narrow to provide the usual girth that most vibrators and dildos offer, as well as the majority of standard love eggs, kegel balls and other insertables. It’s also not that long so for most will be too short to reach the G spot and offer sufficient pressure to be classed as a G spot stimulator. It is most definitely a bullet, albeit slightly curved like a long kidney bean rather than cylindrical with a pointy end like most bullets. The silicone covers for both the toy and the remote are easy to remove which makes charging and cleaning a doddle and the string on the remote is just the right length to make wearing it around your neck when out discreet, unless you happen to be wearing a low cut top. In which case just pop it in your pocket or handbag, as it does work up to 8m from the toy and seems to have no problems picking up sound even when out of sight.
With that point well and truly made lets get on to the ‘music activation’ side of things. Another ‘identity crisis’. It doesn’t just react to music, but in fact any noise at all. It reacted to the extractor fan in our bathroom. It reacted to the telephone ringing. It even reacted to the dog barking at the front door when the courier arrived with another delivery. It seems it’s a sound activated device rather than specifically music. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as that actually offers all manner of possible uses, from a nice wake up when your alarm clock starts ringing, to a welcome distraction when the mother-in-law is droning on for hours on speakerphone (although the battery will possibly die before the conversation ends). Unfortunately the toy doesn’t seem to react in the way we’d hoped. There’s no defined change in power associated with louder music or punchier basslines. The vibrations kick in as soon as any sound is detected and whilst loud bass certainly gets a speedier response there doesn’t appear to much of a difference in vibration strength or pattern based on the tempo, volume or style of music you’re playing. The hope that I could get the OH’s juices flowing by popping on Ginuine’s ‘Pony’ and doing a horrendous impersonation of Channing Tatum dancing Magic Mike style faded into obscurity when all that happened was a steady, low power buzz giving her nothing more than a little stimulation, rather than a punchy, throbbing, orgasm inducing, bassline sourced pulsing between her legs as she watched me strut my stuff in a spandex thong.
So why, given our apparent disappointment with this toy have we given it 3 stars instead of the 1 we make out that it deserves?
Because it’s different. And it actually does offer some opportunities for fun and teasing in scenarios it may well not actually be designed for. If you don’t treat it as an egg and use it internally you can have a lot of fun using it as an alternative ‘knicker vibrator’. Just position it over the clit, make sure she’s wearing underwear that will keep it in place and you can have great fun wearing it out and about - bars, restaurants, your local supermarket, the car, the cinema and yes…nightclubs where it will react to music as intended! And if you’re somewhere quiet and still want a little discreet fun then just use it as a remote controlled toy instead of a sound activated one. As it’s waterproof it can also be used in the bath although we’ve not yet tried that.
We really feel that the opportunities for this kind of toy have been missed. If the design was meant to be for an insertable bullet to power the toy then it would make more sense for it to be a standard bullet shape that could fit into an egg shaped device that would offer a larger surface contact area. It could then have also been used inserted into other items - a butt plug, a cock ring, the knicker vibrator idea we used. This would have potentially given it wider appeal as it could have been used by any gender.
The ‘identity crisis’ is clear. It doesn’t seem to fit the label it’s sold under. That doesn’t make it unusable though, just in our opinion slightly flawed. And for the price it’s sold at it’s something that had we bought it, rather than been sent a sample to test, we’d have been very disappointed. It’s well made, don’t get me wrong, just not what we expected.
It will certainly get used by us. But perhaps not in the way the designers intended. As always though we’re grateful for the chance to try something new.
Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Pros: An interesting idea and a toy that we did find uses for, even if not the intended ones.
Cons: Didn’t fit the description and was too small for the intended job.
Bottom Line: A toy that has it’s uses but the design has missed the intended idea in our minds.
.
