After showing my OH the Jessica Rabbit Vibrator, he responded in a rather peculiar way.
Apparently, he's heard stories of other guys, that the girlfriend who actually bought one of these started to prefer this toy over her OH!
So, my question- Does anyone truely know, or actually is, a girl or guy that prefers a sextoy over another person? (Even if that person is good in bed!)
For sure there are some sex toys that are very fulfilling, both for men and for women. There are times when "me time" is good and such toys can add a great deal! :)
As for preferring the toy, I would like to believe that my OH enjoys spending time with me as a person and as a lover.
*Noon goes to check...*
"The Rival" by Jay David is about something similar to the situation you desribe!
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2009/08/04/free-erotic-story-competition-runner-up-the-rival/
Personally I'd choose my partner EVERY time but that's not always possible and toys are a fun way to scratch an itch when he's not available! Toys are also great to use with my partner too...why choose when I can have the best of both!?
xxKPxx
While sex toys provide enjoyment they can never replace intimacy.
I would imagine that if someone was preferring a toy over their partner, then they must be in some was dissatisfied with their current sex life. Not that the other person is necessarily doing anything wrong, but something must be making this person turn to toys regularly rather than their partner.
There are times when you just want some time to yourself, times when you would choose a dildo over another person, but that shouldn't be the majority of the time.
The way I've always thought of it is that the toys need all those bells and whistles to try and make up for all that's missing between a partner who can kiss and touch and talk and smell and think and feel, and just a rubber [insert gender-appropriate genetalia here]. As Steve says, that intimacy cannot be replicated by a toy.
To be honest, I'd take stories like that with a pinch of salt: if the relationship is still healthy in all other respects, neither partner is likely to go blabbing about how the mister has been replaced by a rabbit, and if it has ended, well, people will often say things about an ex's sexual prowess or tastes just to avoid the real hurt or to save face.
Well my OH seems scared the bunny will replace him, even though Im reassuring him that the cute little rabbit won't do anything.
My toys come in handy when OH is working away. also i do love my OH using toys on me but nothing can beat the real stuff.........
Rubbish! Toys might be able to move faster than any man, but they'll never give us the intimacy and love we need.
Agree with Ecks - *if* it's true, the relationship he's "heard of" must have been in serious shit in the first place!
Adx
telemachus wrote:
I would imagine that if someone was preferring a toy over their partner, then they must be in some was dissatisfied with their current sex life. Not that the other person is necessarily doing anything wrong, but something must be making this person turn to toys regularly rather than their partner.
There are times when you just want some time to yourself, times when you would choose a dildo over another person, but that shouldn't be the majority of the time.
Dee-toe.
Sometimes we might prefer a quick shifty out of sheer laziness but replacing a partner with something is a sign of something wrong.
KittyPurry wrote:
"The Rival" by Jay David is about something similar to the situation you desribe!
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2009/08/04/free-erotic-story-competition-runner-up-the-rival/
Personally I'd choose my partner EVERY time but that's not always possible and toys are a fun way to scratch an itch when he's not available! Toys are also great to use with my partner too...why choose when I can have the best of both!?
xxKPxx
Totally agree. If you can have the best of both you might as well - but i would NEVER EVER choose a toy over my OH. He comes number 1 every time.
They'd have to be in trouble in the first place. I have vibrators and dildos across the range, but none of them can replace my man!! Toys add dimension but they aren't intimate, they don't breathe/talk/kiss/respond and they don't get turned on.
Another major downside to toys is that you can't pleasure them!!! Much as I love my orgasms, my partner's mean so much more to me, I get so much pleasure vicariously from his enjoyment! Can't get that from toys!
xxKPxx
KittyPurry wrote:
Another major downside to toys is that you can't pleasure them!!! Much as I love my orgasms, my partner's mean so much more to me, I get so much pleasure vicariously from his enjoyment! Can't get that from toys!
xxKPxx
As the old saying goes:
"You can suck off a dildo 'til blue in the face but it ain't ever gonna cum for ya."
KittyPurry wrote:
Another major downside to toys is that you can't pleasure them!!! Much as I love my orgasms, my partner's mean so much more to me, I get so much pleasure vicariously from his enjoyment! Can't get that from toys!
xxKPxx
I agree, if i want a quick orgasm i get my toys out but they could never replace my OH x
toy's never say i love you ...
I have a fair few vibrators and bits and bobs and i would never choose these over my partner, in fact i don't actually use these when alone, i only use my toys when he is with me!
if i can't have his cock i don't want anything else because yes these toys might have nobbles and bobbles and fancy bits but it would just make me sad because if i was by myself that would be it... just the toy and i wouldn't get my partner afterwards!
i imagine he hasn't really "heard stories" we've all heard about "my friend who..." i think maybe he is just scared that it will replace him but rather than coming out and saying I'M SCARED! FOR NO REASON! he is instead saying well i've heard other men get replaced so what if i get replaced...
i would encourage you to speak to him and let him know that no toy would replace his kisses and his cuddles and it oculdn't even replace the feel of his cock inside you etc but you want to add something fun to the mix!
just remind him its an addition not a replacement!
VW x
to true a nicely added extra
Heres an off the wall thought for you:
If you are intending to use the JR with your OH, why not give it to him to look after? If you're going to be apart for extended periods, he can give it to you then. I don't know your specific living arrangements, but there must be some way you can put some of the control into his hands to stop him feeling unfomfortable.
Someone here on the forums cleverly called their toy "the understudy" (sorry, I can't remember who!) and I thought that was a good way of showing their OH that the toy was only a number 2 preference, number 1 being the OH himself.
Personally, I would love it if my OH bought a rabbit and used it both together and on her own. As long as I get my pleasure too, I can't see a problem. I wouldn't be too happy if my wifey wasn't up for sex if she'd been using a toy though.