Hi, I am starting out on my journey as a Domme. I have a sub, which seems to be going well, but I’d like some advice on what tasks to set, how to speak to them (they get good boy when done something, but I’m struggling with what to say when they haven’t done as asked).
I don’t know how far I can push him, or maybe it’s me that needs to be pushed more??
Any help would be appreciated
We are only a couple of years into this journey and still learning but the best advice I can give is to talk to each other. You need to know what your sub’s expectations or desires are and they need to know how far you are prepared to go at the moment. As you get into the lifestyle you will probably find that both if these factors will change but you need to have a starting point. Ask them how they want to be addressed, how the want to be punished and rewarded etc. This will save a lot of time (also frustration and disappointment).
Good luck and enjoy the journey.
Hiya welcome to the forum 
I could literally talk forever about D/s relationships/play partners/dynamics forever and there is so much to it. First communication before any play of any sort is so important. Set safewords, so if you do go to far your sub can stop the session.
I find talking after a session is also helpful and you can find out what they liked or didn’t like. There is a popular BDSM forum aswell out there and I would recommend getting to know your local BDSM community, you will learn loads from them.
Totally agree with @rockstar. You need to talk to your sub and see how they feel, what their limits are, particularly when looking for something to say to them when they have not done as instructed. Just because you are the one in charge, doesn’t mean you have to be the one planning everything.
Why are you setting tasks? Are they simply to show that the sub is obedient and doing whatever you ask or is there more of a pleasing you element to it? If it’s the former then literally anything, if it’s the latter have a think what would be good for you. Would you like them to do something to prove they are thinking of you when you are apart or more direct service? For example, you could get them to wear a certain item (even vanilla) on a certain day to remind them of you, you could get them to take photos or write short poems, you could get them to send you a coffee via whatever food delivery service works for you, or you could have them doing more domestic chores or sending them on errands, get them to drive you places etc.
If you want to set them a task and get some inspiration for what to do, get them to do some research. Ask them to write out fantasy scenarios or find some porn that really gets them going and share with you, or images or blog pieces etc
Have you sorted out a safe word? Many dynamics like this have a safe word so both sides will know if either one is being too much.
I’d think with that in place you can then use the freedom to test the waters on how far he is comfortable with.
Also when he’s done wrong why not tell him he’s a very bad boy and give a slap on the butt with a rolled up newspaper or something 
Have you tried to reach out to doms and ask for huidance, but with everything, pay respects/due to them for their time (the doms)
I know a few in real life who have said the best thing to do is ask reapectfully
I agree with the points @Calie has raised. You need to talk to your sub about their expectations and how they feel about the dynamic of your Domme/Sub relationship, as well as what their limits are. Safety and consent are the two most important things when it comes to being a great dominatrix.
The key to domination is confidence, which is very much an attitude and you can embody it with the words you choose.
You’re the one totally in charge and therefore it is important that you need to work out what words/phrases you might use in your role as a Domme.
One idea, which might be useful, is to watch Domme/ Sub, BDSM themed videos on Porn websites and list the terms and commands etc which you could reference later as your morph into your alter-ego.
Hope this helps … and good luck in your role as a Domme
Thank you for this advice… i have spoken to a Domme and they have offered guidance…
All done with respect
Thank you for this… i will certainly do that
