For some reason recently my sex drive has gone through the roof and my poor OH is struggling to keep up. We have been a very sexually active couple for about 8 years, but haven't been particularly adventurous. I'm ready to dip my toes into a slightly more naughty world but I don't want to put him off.
I had an idea about leaving a lovehoney screen open on his area of the laptop so when he logs on tonight he finds something in the 'basket'.
My question is, any ideas what? I thought of a mini bullet vibe, but he has often said he doesn't see the point of them. The usual handcuffs might be a bit cheesy.
What sort of toys do you think he would like to see/use? Personally I think the sight of you using a Rabbit would be a real turn on, but some guys get upset about the OH using a plastic cock.
First toy we use was a vibrating cock ring which my gf got me - quite fun and inoffesive and didn't put me off! What about a remote vibe so he can interact and control you getting turned on? Its a turn on for both partners. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/remote-control-vibrators/ you can use the wireless ones wherever you are - restaurant, car, cinema, sunday lunch... :-)
There are 101 places to start with toys, but understandable if you don't want to just wander in to the bedroom with a riding crop and watch him do an impression of The Rock!
Rather than necessarily starting off with dildos and vibes (unless that is specifically the direction to go in) might I humbly suggest some of the sex games that LH stock, such as a deck of playing cards or dice with positions/body parts/ideas on them.
Rather than a subtle hint leaving the browser open on LH with something in the cart may just be interpreted as careless, and especially if choosing a vibe or dildo he may decide you are no longer interested in him and are looking elsewhere for sexual satisfaction.
If at all possible I would hope you could broach the subject honestly, even if it is by leaving a message on notepad next to the computer or on NotePad on the screen stating specifically that you want him to use it on you. If you aren't home at the time as well it will give him time to think about it and process a response (and even fantasize about it! ;]).
Discussing what direction to develop your sex life in without making either of you uncomfortable in the process would be wise, and then you can explore together from that point on what enhances the experience for the both of you!
Speaking from the other side, my OH bought a rabbit and when I first found out I felt a bit emasculated. But after a while the idea grew on me and using it together became a lot more fun!
Whatever you decide to buy I would say to make sure you let him know its not replacing him :)
Personally think Rabbits are a waste of money. Why not buy a decent silicone vibrator instead? Use it on your clit while he's doing you. Or get him to use it on you ;)
toys can be enjoyable when used together just open his mind he will surely see just how hot and horney yous can be me an my hubby have fannytastic times with our toys
I think Al(ic)ex has given you some great advice. Whilst the idea of leaving Lovehoney open seems like a tantalising surprise for your other half, it'd be sod's law that the idea was misinterpreted, unless perhaps you left a post it note on the computer, maybe something very simple like 'Fancy this?! x'
If you have a habit of sending sexy texts, emails or describing fantasies to each other, perhaps you could add more risque elements to them and see if he responds positively? Describe him using a vibrator on you and how positively you'd react, or maybe how you want him to tie you up and be completely under his control..
I also agree that perhaps a sex game would be a nice way to approach this in some ways - it'll open more things up to you than perhaps buying a single item would, and items like Monogamy allow the sexual nature of the activities to slowly heighten, which would perhaps help ease your other half into it. Also, I believe the extras pack for Monogamy contains a vibrator - maybe in a game scenario your partner could learn in a 'safe environment' how fun they can be?
Or a cheaper game? I think this one looks like a lot of fun personally http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=8558 It looks like it has a lot of vanilla activities but also some that might considered a little less so - I can see 'tie up' and 'spank bottom' amongst the counters.
Good luck tempting him into the murky (and wondrous!) depths of sex toys!
For some reason recently my sex drive has gone through the roof and my poor OH is struggling to keep up. We have been a very sexually active couple for about 8 years, but haven't been particularly adventurous. I'm ready to dip my toes into a slightly more naughty world but I don't want to put him off.
I had an idea about leaving a lovehoney screen open on his area of the laptop so when he logs on tonight he finds something in the 'basket'.
My question is, any ideas what? I thought of a mini bullet vibe, but he has often said he doesn't see the point of them. The usual handcuffs might be a bit cheesy.
Any suggestions lovely lovehoneys? xxx
Hi RMBelle,
A mini bullet vibe has many uses and I think it's a very couple-friendly toy. Your man might think there is no point to them now, but I bet he changes his mind if you use one on his balls or shaft whilst giving a delicious blowjob. And I would suggest that this would be a great way to introduce such a toy to him. They can also be used on nipples and just about any part of the body really, as well as offering clitoral stimulation during sex without getting in the way. There are some luxury vibrators that should appeal to both sexes, I have the Mimi which looks like a pebble and is amazing, it's completely in-offensive and well worth the money.
We also have Monogamy which we would highly recommend as you can up the kink at your own pace. We found it opened our eyes to a few new things and reminded us of old things we hadn't done in a while! As well as having lots of giggles and cuddles along the way!
If you fancy dabbling in light bondage, you can get some beautiful silk ties and blindfolds and prehaps a feather tickler would be a nice idea too.
I suggested that my Husband and I looked on Lovehoney together, having browsed the site at length on my own. We did look together, but my sneak peek enabled me to direct our search slightly and choosing things together was quite thrilling actually, as we knew we were getting things we both really liked the look of.
Wow, thank you all so so much for the fantastic and thoughtful responses. I think you are right about leaving the window open on the screen, I would have logged in to his 'own' area so it would have been clear that I had put it there for him to see but I need to be a bit more direct about things I guess.
I have been out shopping today and get myself (or him, whichever way you look at it) a sexy pair of pants and chemise, and blindfold, plus I have ordered a little vibe from here and some flavoured 'sliquid'. I'm going to wrap them up all nice together and leave them for him upstairs when he comes in tomorrow (if the stuff arrives). I'm currently thinking of a little note to write to go with them with something along the lines of "we can play with as many as you like" That way he can spend some time in the evening thinking of how I'm going to look in the lingere and decide what he wants to try. I will also directly mention the things during the evening (probably while we are watching tv when he is comfortable). I think if I just pull out a vibe from under the bed while we are getting steamy and go "oooh, look what ive got!!!!" it could be a giant passion killer for him.
My thoughts are that even if he doesn't fancy playing with the mini vibe straight away, he will know it is there and might even have a little feel and play with it when i'm not around to get over the initial 'OMG' feeling he is probably going to have. I'm sure if it is there and waiting to be used the curiosity is going to get the better of him soom enough...
Does this sound OK to you all? Not too full on, but sending a definite message I hope.
I love the look of monogamy - if this goes well, I think I can feel my itchy fingers clicking checkout now on that very soon ;)
Thanks once again, your davice and reassurance has been lovely xxx
Good call, RMBelle, looks like you're confident in what you're doing and sensitive about your approach.
One other thing you could try, depending on how confident you are... I'm sure many other members on here will back me up - it's a huge turn-on to see your partner masturbating - if he's unsure of either using the bullet or having it used on him, why not treat him to a little show...! Espcially in your saucy new undies!
I hope that everything goes okay when he finds your bundle of goodies, I'm sure it will, I think that you're going about it in a good way and I hope that you both are able to enjoy everything at your own pace.