Hi J, welcome to the forums.
I am trying to think back to when I got my first toy and I remember feeling a little strange about it too.Since then I have collected hundreds of toys and become quite an addict to be honest. I will try to answer some of your questions from my perspective:
Why buy a dildo when you can own one that vibrates:
Well, the thing is, not all ladies enjoy the feel of vibrations. I personally like vibrations but only on my clitoris. I have never been a huge fan of something vibrating inside of me. When I bought rabbits, I never turned on the rorating shafts, when I bought dildo sized vibrators I only turned them on if I was rubbing it against my clit, if I was inserting it, I left it switched off. This is still my preference and the reason why is because I like the feel of the toy sliding in and out of me. I like to feel the material brushing against my insides and feel the textures (If it has any) with the vibrations on, all I feel is this rumbling buzzy sensation inside my vagina and this isnt as sensual or as pleasant for me. I like sensations inside me to replicate sex I guess, so I enjoy thrusting, or even just holding the toy inside me to provide a feeling of fullness, or to have something inside me that I can squeeze my internal muscles around, which feels pleasurable. Vibrations inside me, after a while, can just cause an itching sensation, sometimes make me feel like I need to pee too! lol. I never used to think I was a dildo fan either. It was only this year I developed a penchant for dildos along with clitoral vibrators and right now, some of my dildos are my favourite toys. I can insert them while my partner gives me oral sex for example, or while masturbating. I experience g-spot orgasms but even still, I do not get them from vibrators inside me. I need a jiggling or shallow thrusting motion and if the toy vibrates, that is just distracting to me. Clitoral orgasms are a different story and I love my vibrating toys for that.
I have a lot of sex toys. Each one is different. Some are utter rubbish, others good, some brilliant but each one provides a different sensation and you will only learn what you like and do not like by experimenting (Everyone has different tastes)
I suspect your partner is a little embarrassed and feeling a bit daunted by the new toys. That is kinda normal. I can't even guess what is going through her head but make sure she isnt feeling threatened by them (Does she feel like she isn't good enough and that you needed to buy the toys to make things better, does she feel put in the spotlight, like you are expecting her to perform for you with these new toys, does she feel watched, objectified, is she worried about mess with the anal toys or even just unsure if she will like them and doesn't want to let you down? Etc There is many possibilities of what she is thinking but you sound like you are not pushing it and respecting her wishes, which is about the best you can do. If this were me, I would also ask more questions and try to find out what the issues are so you can either lay them to rest, or not waste your time and money if she just downright hates the idea and won't budge on it. (Some people just hate sex toys and will not budge) and that is not something you can change without causing issues within the relationship, you know what I mean?
Some options are A) leave her to experiment alone with them first. Just leave the box under the bed and tell her they are there for whenever she wants to play. I wouldnt be surprised, if she is curious as you say she is, to find that she just needs time to experiment, get over the doubts anf initial fears (Will it hurt, will I like it, will I look stupid using it...etc) alone. She may then pull them out one day and have them join you in the bed.
B) Ask her how she feels about the toys. Just be hnest and say you like the idea of them, tell her why you like the idea (I love watching you get pleasure etc) and just say "However, if these toys are not going to give you pleasure, then they won't give me pleasure either.
See I kind of suspect the abrasive attitude was maybe because she saw your excitement over the toys and she is still unsure and so she is putting up walls about them right now. You need to let her know that it doesn't matter one bit if she hates them and that she isnt disappointing you. Then leave her to come back to you on it.
You are not gay if you enjoy anal. You are gay if you enjoy having sexual intercourse with people who share the same sex as you. Males have a sexual hot spot, called the prostate, which can provide a LOT of pleasure to a man, it just so happens that the prostate lives up the bum. There is no link between enjoying anal play and being interested in sleeping with someone of the same sex. otherwise myself and my male partner would not be together right now as we would both be in same sex relationships lol.
As for the toys:
Anal beads: I am not a huge fan of them. They are designed to be inserted and either used to provide a "popping" sensation as you slowly insert and pull them out, or some people enjoy using them by inserting them and leaving them in place, only to pull them out at the moment of orgasm to intensify the orgasm. Neither of these sensations do much for me, if I am honest, sadly, being of the female persuasion, I lack the prostate needed to give you more accurate feedback lol. As for me, it just kinda feels like I am pooping and I don't like that feeling during orgasm, clearly lol Some people love them though, again, everyone is different
Plugs; ideal for hands free fun as you can insert it and leave it in place while you masturbate or have sex. The idea is that the tip of the plug, or the bulb, will rub against the prostate during movement (or squeezes of your muscles) and provide extra sensations to enjoy. Not all plugs stay in place, look for ones with a wider bulb and a slimmer neck if you want hands free. Curved plugs are again designed for a more accurate hitting of the prostate. For women, wearing a plug can often make you feel much more full, or tighter, during intercourse and for some ladies this feels intense and very satisfying. It is a sensation that requires a few attempts to get used to though.
Make sure you use plenty of lube with anal play, otherwise you will just feel too uncomfortable to continue.
I hope some of this helps in some way. Any more questions, fire away! I hope you stick around and let us know how it goes and stuff! best wishes x