I was really up for trying out a toy, as i find clitoral stimulation by hand hard, but then siddenly i had a full blown panic attack that i was doing something really wrong/dirty and the thought of even having one in the house caused some pretty serious anxiety.
Is it normal to get conflicting feelings about using a toy for the first time?
Hi VirginAngel, there is no reason to feel any negative thoughts about owning or using a sex toy. It is very natural to want to feel pleasure and using a toy to enhance the experience is just a natural progression. I own lots of sex toys myself, and there are lots of people out there who have growing collections - and many more people than you think own at least one toy.
As you speak to more people on this forum, you will realise that sex toys are just a natural part of everyday life and nothing to be ashamed of. Have fun with you new toy and enjoy it for what it should be - a stress relieving, confidence boosting 'pleasure giver'! :) xx
Hello Virgin Angel
Itotally echo the thoughts of Scorpius12.
Before i bought my first toy I questioned what I was doing, how I'd explain it, was it normal but with each passing day i feel more and more relaxed.
Sex and sexuality is a normal part of life and should be embraced. I hope you don't let your fear put you off, I know I would have regretted it : )
I agree it's a 100% normal and natural thing :) nothing to feel bad about hun. X
With the way society portrays sex and masturbation, this is a very common reaction when trying something new sexually or even something old which you may have been informed by others that it may be wrong.
Even recently I've started to experience something which I thouyght I left behind when maturing into an adult. Basically my mind has started to strongly dislike sex and keeps leading to panic attacks when I have it. This is because of false information about my sex life from others though. But I've found that the more I try, and the more I aim to support myself positivly, the better I have started to get again. Even I who normally has a strong belief that sex is natural and something to enjoy, can be effected psychologically, but I'm basically being stubborn and working through it - as after all sex is natural, masturbation is wonderful, it's just the brain (and society) can be silly at times and becomes confused.
Basically take your time and don't beat yourself up about the panic attacks, this will just help keep you stuck within the negative spiral you are in. Try and just focus on the positive things too =)
Thankyou Lady Ness, really helped put a more positive spin on it from someone with a similar experience :) Glad you're feeling happier and more at ease
Where's Mrs Average? She's as normal as can be ;-) And there's a thread about kink and needlework. Turns out loads of women into all sorts of things sexually are quite fond of cross stitch.
So what's normal? Whatever you are. :-)
Hey VirginAngel,
I remember my frist time of getting a toy and felt the same way. Didn't help that at the time I was embrassed about it all and had no clue what I wanted and what suited me best.
I still don't want certain family member to find my growing stash of toys but I love clitoral stimulation (as you can see in my reviews). Since the frist buy I not looked back, think still be embrassed about my toys been found but most people have or will try toys in the life.
If your worried I would start off small such as bullet, easy and discreet compared to full vibrators.
Did you grow up in a strict or religious household where talk about sex or mastrabation was seen as a negative things?
It's often things that have been told to is as children or young adults that lead to us have negative attitudes or emotions towards sex.
As you can see from the forum we all love sexy and our toys so we can tell you it's perfectly normal. So great yourself to a toy and enjoy the experience x x
blonde vixen13 wrote:
Did you grow up in a strict or religious household where talk about sex or mastrabation was seen as a negative things?
It's often things that have been told to is as children or young adults that lead to us have negative attitudes or emotions towards sex.As you can see from the forum we all love sexy and our toys so we can tell you it's perfectly normal. So great yourself to a toy and enjoy the experience x x
+1 especially girls. This can really hold a woman back from enjoying a full and happy sex life. Took me years to sort this for my wife. It's not wrong it's wonderful and you deserve it
Absolutely. I was a fairly shy person when I was younger and really still not that sexually experienced but I think a lot of the issues are that people don't talk about sex or more especially toys openly.
The first time I ordered a toy, I was a little panicked by it but realised that sex is a normal part of a person. I've found it a postive experience and helped with my confidence generally and with partners.