Hi all, just looking for some advice, I have suggested some things to my OH that I'd really like to try, nothing major in my eyes- wax play, food and such like but he just dismisses the idea totally :-( I am very open and have tried most of the things he has suggested in the past, we have been together 11 years so always trying to keep the spark alive!
I showed him the massage candles thinking it'd be a nice way to get into it but that was a no from him. What do I do?! Try talking to him or just drop it?
Do you want to do these things..? So you know the answer.
Get him to have a look at LH with you, show him the forums and any of the things you'd like to try.
Tell him exactly how you're feeling an sit down and try to come to an agreement together.
Or perhaps try getting yourself something and let him watch you? Give him an idea of what you want and it might get him in the mood to try.
Don't just drop it! It's not fair to you to have a sex life that isn't fulfilling.
If you do what he wants it is only fair that he returns the favour. Deny him a blwjob for however long it takes him to realise he is beong silly.
Claire'sPaul wrote:
If you do what he wants it is only fair that he returns the favour. Deny him a blwjob for however long it takes him to realise he is beong silly.
I don't think turning this into a battle of wills will be good for either, there are ways to get your OH to want without resorting to bickering, if you're talented enough you can even get him to think it was his idea in the first place 
I've always been told I can't push the OH into things she isn't comfortable or interested in so maybe the same applies. But I can't imagine the missus getting me going then mid ride asking me to do something and me refusing.
trading in my view isn't healthy - meaning 'i do this so you should do that'.....
i can understand that there will always be a reluctance to embrace something that doesnt strike an immediate chord, food play for me would do little to stir things.....
2 thoughts:
1/ sometimes folks have a negative approach to things they don't understand.......example. JJ my wife likes to role play, i do but from a different perspective.....i like to see her dress in different ways to suit the persona, she revels in the chit chat of that 'new' person, whereas i struggle.
2/ talking through 'no no's ' can be hard, you can try playing a bit of a game, away from teh bedroom, asking each other what their thoughts are about X/Y/Z - the easy way is to use the 3rd party excuse ' I saw this in a magazine' - it was top things to try.....etc etc...we've done that in the past with a mmmm/noooo/maybe....all you then have to do is to dig deeper and find out the reluctance to a certain thing. might be worth trying......
good luck.