I'm having a bit of an issue with my OH and our interests in sex at the present time.
Since discovering Lovehoney (I'm the one with the account), I've bought a fair number of toys (some may say too many...) and lingerie to try and spice things up for us.
We've been together 13.5 yrs, and in quite a few years of our time together, I felt a bit unfulfilled with our sex life. That was as much my fault as his, so not trying to place blame on him. I think I felt unconfident in asking for what I liked.
So, now I know more what I like, and I'm trying to introduce aspects of more kink into our love life, including massage candles, rocks, ticklers, glass toys and vibrators. I'm also starting to experiment with anal play, but OH is averse to any butt play with me, and I think that is one line that he's not prepared to cross now if ever...
I could live without that, but what frustrates me, is lately I seem to initiate sex a lot, and he sometimes complains it's too 'contrived' whatever that means, and I try to ask him to explain what he does mean, but then he can't really tell me.
All in all, it's starting to get me very frustrated, to the point where I just want to go to bed without him. We're still in the same bed, not that extrerme yet! but it just makes me feel like I'm his housemate and a housekeeper than his wife.
we have a young baby, so I get that he's tired after work. But I sometimes feel like things are just too much effort for him. And his apathy makes me sometimes feel like I can't be bothered.
On Friday night, I got some sexy wear on while he walked the dog, and gave him a blow job when he got back. We had sex, and after some recovery time had another round. The second round was better than the first, and afterwards we did talk properly, but it feels like he always holds back on me when discussing stuff.
maybe he doesn't know what he wants to say or how to say it, but I don't understand why it's so hard for him to put into words what he feels and thinks about what we're doing.
sorry to ramble on, but as I've said, this is starting to get frustrating, and is going to cause tension before long.
any advice welcome