My husband has problems keeping his erection and climaxing but swears he still really enjoys our sessions especially when using our Lovehoney toys. He takes the viagra prescribed by the doctor which means he can usually (eventually) climax. He has also tried a cock ring (vibrating) but said this did nothing at all for him. He seems to be happy to carry on as we are but I feel as though I'm getting all the pleasure and am feeling really guilty!
Can anyone suggest something other than a cock ring (he's not into anal) that I can get for him?
Having suffered from intermittent ED I think there are a few points you should consider. I guess the first is that, contrary to what many believe, it is quite possible to orgasm from penile stimulation even when flaccid. I actually found that I was more sensitive and faster to cum when only semi-erect than when fully hard (doubly frustrating for my wife!). So if you treat his bringing you to orgasm and vice versa as two independent things it really helps. I think the suggestion of a stroker is a good one. I can't vouch for the male vibrators from personal experience but many of the reviews are very positive.
Personally I find that a very great deal of my satisfaction comes more from bringing my wife to orgasm than from having an orgasm myself so far from feeling guilty that you are getting all the pleasure I suggest that you should enjoy orgasm knowing it is doing as much for him as it is for you. My personal preference is to use a strapon as everything about it feels completely usual to the extent that I am so turned on it's not that obvious that I'm not doing the penetrating. Usually I find that the using of the stapon on my wife usually gets my so aroused I have a good erection and can then have sex normally to my own orgasm. Not having any performance pressure is, I think, a big contributor in this.
One last thing - he might consider doing pelvic floor exercises - they made a big difference to me.
Excellent reply G53.
Don't feel guilty, I'm sort of in the same boat, erection ok but take Sildenafil when a planned session is gonna take place. My pleasure comes from the fact that I can last long enough for Mrs TD to get off on what she needs, but ejaculation from me is an issue. She has the same sort of feelings about it as you do, but truley if I had to pick either erection or cuming it would be the former everytime. In my case, being comfortably able to go an hour or two means that she won't be left frustrated, and really feel for those who don't get to experience this.
We are having a stab in the dark on https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30916 in hopes that a bit of massage of the prostate will do the trick, My problem stems from the drugs I'm taking (I get there eventually) it is a punt worth taking, its not like I never do. It will be fun nonetheless so to give Mrs TD the controller and let her do her thing on me, so it will be worth the purchase for that alone...
I've read the reviews on the above but would still love to hear from anybody who has this and how they've got on with it.
Awesome thread!!  I turn 31 this year and have been with my husband for nearly 16 years, I fully intend on being sexually active as long as is physically possible so I love that you guys are posting here about your amazing sex lives! 
By way of bumping this thread I thought I would mention that we have just started playing with a novel toy that I think may be of interest to some other oldies - the Hot Octopuss Pulse 3 duo:-
We bought it as my intermittent ED has struck a couple of times recently (thankfully interspersed with spells of completely satisfactory service, but disturbing all the same). I'm going to write a full review when we have more experience with it but so far it's very encouraging.
Its not often that you see a sex toy manufacturer's website have a section headed “ Older users, erectile dysfunction and mobility issues” but encouragingly this is exactly what Hot Octopuss have.
Interestingly the design of this vibrator comes in part from some research into penile vibratory ejaculation for those with spinal chord injuries. Instead of using a motor with an eccentric weight to produce vibrations in the way most vibrators do it has a crank driven oscillating plate which produces a high amplitude vibration of a 20mm diameter 'button' in the toy positioned to stimulate the sensitive frenulum on the underside of the penis. With the button in direct contact with the frenulum I found that even on the lowest setting the device took me from flaccid to hard in a very short time and I realised that with the toy in that position I was not going to be able to hold back for very long. However, by sliding the toy further down my shaft the stimulation can be reduced to a manageable level.
My wife is not much into vibrators but she enjoyed sitting on top of me and riding this toy. The low frequency of the vibrations this toy produces were certainly more to her liking than normal vibrators and she didn't use its second high speed vibrator that is designed for the female partner.
Usually when my ED strikes I use a strapon on my wife which works really well but this toy offers the possibility that we may both be able to orgasm without my having a serviceable erection. However, while that is the motive (read excuse) for the purchase I can see it getting a lot of use anyway!
It is an excellent thread. The only thing I dislike about it, is the word "Oldies" in the title .
For many these days as we are much fitter , feel and look younger than our predecessors. Therefore age is just a number .If you look after your body, your body will look after you .
Hi, great thread and can I echo the positive "vibes" of this thread, I cannot believe I just did that pun ! I'm 52 and have got increasingly more sexed up as work, kids, life in general become less distracting, if that's the right word, and things seem so much more in perspective. TBH I've been reviewing my life in general and came to the conclusion I spent much of the last 20 years "surviving" and actually I think I was suffering with varying degrees of depression. With the help of the forum members I've been able to open up and discuss with my lovely Wife that I would like our relationship to deepen with more intimacy, more interesting sex and more of it. I love my Wife so much and I just want us to maximise our pleasure in each other. She has been somewhat reticent about toys and trying new stuff, but then our sex life became infrequent and vanilla many years ago so it will take time to build up our intimacy again. We have been discussing our relationship in a new light and reflecting on the last 36 years. think LH are an excellent company and the forum members are really friendly, helpful and supportive.
Hi, great thread and can I echo the positive "vibes" of this thread, I cannot believe I just did that pun ! I'm 52 and have got increasingly more sexed up as work, kids, life in general become less distracting, if that's the right word, and things seem so much more in perspective. TBH I've been reviewing my life in general and came to the conclusion I spent much of the last 20 years "surviving" and actually I think I was suffering with varying degrees of depression. With the help of the forum members I've been able to open up and discuss with my lovely Wife that I would like our relationship to deepen with more intimacy, more interesting sex and more of it. I love my Wife so much and I just want us to maximise our pleasure in each other. She has been somewhat reticent about toys and trying new stuff, but then our sex life became infrequent and vanilla many years ago so it will take time to build up our intimacy again. We have been discussing our relationship in a new light and reflecting on the last 36 years. think LH are an excellent company and the forum members are really friendly, helpful and supportive.
We wernt too dissimilar to your selves. Our lad is nearly 17 so is more idependent of us , leaving us more time for each other.
I think I am fitter now than I was in my late 20s and with all the experience gained, our sex life whilst there isnt a lot of it becasue of our 2 sick mothers at the moment, the quality is there .We are also getting out more for meals and going to over 40s nightclubs . Life has never been so good.
Age is only a number,we are as old as we think we are! Obviously our bodies often beg to differ,so it`s great that we can share tips and info here! As sex is a great mood lifter and form of exercise,we need to keep it up(see what i did there?) as we get older for our physical and mental wellbeing!
Hi, great thread and can I echo the positive "vibes" of this thread, I cannot believe I just did that pun ! I'm 52 and have got increasingly more sexed up as work, kids, life in general become less distracting, if that's the right word, and things seem so much more in perspective. TBH I've been reviewing my life in general and came to the conclusion I spent much of the last 20 years "surviving" and actually I think I was suffering with varying degrees of depression. With the help of the forum members I've been able to open up and discuss with my lovely Wife that I would like our relationship to deepen with more intimacy, more interesting sex and more of it. I love my Wife so much and I just want us to maximise our pleasure in each other. She has been somewhat reticent about toys and trying new stuff, but then our sex life became infrequent and vanilla many years ago so it will take time to build up our intimacy again. We have been discussing our relationship in a new light and reflecting on the last 36 years. think LH are an excellent company and the forum members are really friendly, helpful and supportive.
We wernt too dissimilar to your selves. Our lad is nearly 17 so is more idependent of us , leaving us more time for each other.
I think I am fitter now than I was in my late 20s and with all the experience gained, our sex life whilst there isnt a lot of it becasue of our 2 sick mothers at the moment, the quality is there .We are also getting out more for meals and going to over 40s nightclubs . Life has never been so good.
Mysteron, sorry to hear about your mothers. My mum has just gone in to a care home, her dementia has got very bad now which I find very sad as its stripping away who she is as the person I remember. Sounds like we have a lot in common. I've lost a load of weight this year and started running regularly, just did a 10k in April and signed up for another in Aug. Feel fitter and much better than I have for years. We have 2 daughters, 15 and 17, so our life is going to change quite a bit in the next 1 to 3 years as they both plan to go to Uni.
Hi, great thread and can I echo the positive "vibes" of this thread, I cannot believe I just did that pun ! I'm 52 and have got increasingly more sexed up as work, kids, life in general become less distracting, if that's the right word, and things seem so much more in perspective. TBH I've been reviewing my life in general and came to the conclusion I spent much of the last 20 years "surviving" and actually I think I was suffering with varying degrees of depression. With the help of the forum members I've been able to open up and discuss with my lovely Wife that I would like our relationship to deepen with more intimacy, more interesting sex and more of it. I love my Wife so much and I just want us to maximise our pleasure in each other. She has been somewhat reticent about toys and trying new stuff, but then our sex life became infrequent and vanilla many years ago so it will take time to build up our intimacy again. We have been discussing our relationship in a new light and reflecting on the last 36 years. think LH are an excellent company and the forum members are really friendly, helpful and supportive.
We wernt too dissimilar to your selves. Our lad is nearly 17 so is more idependent of us , leaving us more time for each other.
I think I am fitter now than I was in my late 20s and with all the experience gained, our sex life whilst there isnt a lot of it becasue of our 2 sick mothers at the moment, the quality is there .We are also getting out more for meals and going to over 40s nightclubs . Life has never been so good.
Mysteron, sorry to hear about your mothers. My mum has just gone in to a care home, her dementia has got very bad now which I find very sad as its stripping away who she is as the person I remember. Sounds like we have a lot in common. I've lost a load of weight this year and started running regularly, just did a 10k in April and signed up for another in Aug. Feel fitter and much better than I have for years. We have 2 daughters, 15 and 17, so our life is going to change quite a bit in the next 1 to 3 years as they both plan to go to Uni.
Yes your right we do have a lot in common. I admire you runners as the weather doesnt apear to stop you. Both of us have been invited to join a running group but I must admit running isnt my thing . We prefer the slower walking and taking in the sights. Good luck with your running it will do you go and should keep you fitter.
I know it sounds daft but its difficult to put into words that feeling of being fitter and how much an impact it has . Its almost like having a new body with endless amounts of energy which also gives a big confidence boost as well . There is a guy we often see at one of the nightclubs . He is about 75 I guess and is fit as a butchers dog. The very much younger ladies have problems in trying to keep up with him and he definitiley still has it .
Some of the TV adverts annoy me a little as some come accross as patronising as it its exception than the norm to do activities like dancing,running ,gymnastics and the like. I appreciate some over 50s like the comfort of the couch,slippers and a pipe but not everyone .
I believe you can do anything at most ages if you look after your body beforehand
Mysteron you're right about TV ads portraying the over 50's in a patronising way ! It really annoys the hell out of me that it leads people , especially younger people to think that once you hit 50 you're past it ! Yes years ago 50 was thought of as old but nowadays I think there are more older people at the fitter end of the spectrum and certainly able to do stuff like running or aerobics etc. I think that if you can keep active regularly it helps you stay more active as you age . They say 50 is the new 40 although I'll admit that I feel much younger mentally and physically :)
Mysteron you're right about TV ads portraying the over 50's in a patronising way ! It really annoys the hell out of me that it leads people , especially younger people to think that once you hit 50 you're past it !
Yes years ago 50 was thought of as old but nowadays I think there are more older people at the fitter end of the spectrum and certainly able to do stuff like running or aerobics etc.
I think that if you can keep active regularly it helps you stay more active as you age . They say 50 is the new 40 although I'll admit that I feel much younger mentally and physically :)
I couldn't agree more. I think a lot of 50something (and 60somethings for that matter) are better groomers than they were 30 years ago, dress better and many more are more connected emotionally and physically to their enviroment than my parents ever were.
Yes I loved the eighties, but I also love the current day scene too, from street culture, music and fashion to technology, opportunities and broader tolerance shown to people.
Yes there are scum around to spoil things for people, but there has always has been these types and always will be.
Well I think life is too short. Some people think once your in your 50 s ,that you should retreat to the couch with a pipe and slippers, How wrong they are .50 is the new 40 and there are plenty of things to do .I am in better shape and fitter than I was in my late 20 s and with our son old enough to be Independant of us ,the shackles are free!
I have just got back into Northern Soul dancing after an absence of nearly 30 years and enjoying going to clubs and meets. .My other music like is the old Madchester scene including Joy Division and New Order. There has been a club set up at the old Factory Records headquarters in Manchester.This is another place I want to visit sometime and will involve an overnight stay.
There is so much to do out there and I fully intend to imbrace it. No couch and slippers for me .
Couldn't agree more with you Mysteron. The advantage of being older is that you appreciate life, health, sex, friends, family, relationships so much more. Me and my Wife have a 10 min cuddle after the alarm wakes us up, to organise the girls for college and school. That feeling of closeness, love and warmth really makes my day, so simple, so beautiful, but we had stopped doing that over 20 years ago. I had "forgotten" how much I love my Wife and just how special she is to me until raising the "fog" of working and commuting.
Another thing that pigs me off is so called advice and sugestions from other parties connected to the media.
Like" I shouldnt wear jeans at my age !" what? I look better in them now than I did in my younger days..In fact one of my Mrs favourite outfits on me is just wearing a pair of jeans and nothing else . Thats becasue I look that hot in them .
"Your too old for Night clubs". No chance !. Nightclubs are catering for more and more over 40s . From their point of view there is less trouble and we have the most money (allegedly) . And our music is better than the modern rubbish they call music !
I was speaking to one of the doormen about the nightclub issue. He covers 2 nightclubs one that attracts the young were there is always trouble guaranteed and one for the over 40s. The biggest issue he has ever had to deal with the latter is when a lady went over on her ankle after breaking the heel on her shoe. An ambulance was needed as she had a suuspected broken ankle as a result.
Hello fellow oldies! OH here. Hoping you are all still enjoying yourselves!
Do any men out there find that blood pressure pills affect your erection time? I find I can't maintain like I used to - but Mrs GV still seems happy though!
OH
Good vibrationz, I also take blood pressure medication. But it does not effect me getting a hard on and maintain it either.
I am 61 years now. I been on blood pressure medication for 28 years now. Your kind of medication might be causing you to not having erections. Next time you see your doctor, ask him/ her about your blood pressure medication and side effects on erections. Then they can go from there.
It is an excellent thread. The only thing I dislike about it, is the word "Oldies" in the title .
Sorry I didn't spot your comment earlier. I actually thought for quite a while about the use of “Oldies” in the title. Of late we seem to be being blamed for everything that has gone wrong with the World (despite, by any measure, leaving it in a far better state than we found it) so, like other minority groups that are embattled, I feel we should own the pejoratives and use them about ourselves while leaping on any non-member who dares to utter the words.
It's a good tactic and we need all the guile we can muster.
It is an excellent thread. The only thing I dislike about it, is the word "Oldies" in the title .
Sorry I didn't spot your comment earlier. I actually thought for quite a while about the use of “Oldies” in the title. Of late we seem to be being blamed for everything that has gone wrong with the World (despite, by any measure, leaving it in a far better state than we found it) so, like other minority groups that are embattled, I feel we should own the pejoratives and use them about ourselves while leaping on any non-member who dares to utter the words.
It's a good tactic and we need all the guile we can muster.
I can see your rationale and its a fair one.
The problem for me is the the word "oldies" is almost achetypical for being passed your best. This I feel is far wide of the mark and me personally I am in better condition fitness and looks wise now than when I was in my 20s and with far more energy .I dare say there are many more 50 plus guys that are in similar condition as well . So nobody is going to consign me to a pipe and slippers just yet ! 