Oldies Encouragement Thread- sex toys ARE for you.

Sex Tips & Talk
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I guess this thread would be better as a pinned one written by a responsible person from LH (not an ageing reprobate like me) but from comments on a couple of recent threads it seems there are quite a few of us in our 5th, 6th or 7th decades, maybe older, who are slightly reticent about the whole idea of sex toys and who might benefit from some encouragement that they are not too old and are in fact the people who can benefit most from a perhaps somewhat belated foray into sex toys.

To kick things off I thought I should write a bit about us and some of what we have benefited from. We were a decidedly vanilla couple up until our mid forties (back in the late 90s) when we finally started to overcome our rather prudish upbringings and since then have given many types of toy and kink a try.

Lubes - We tend to overlook how much these have revolutionised our sex lives. Back in the 1970s lubes were rubbish - there was basically one brand, it dried out to the consistency of Evo-Stik in a few minutes and I doubt most couples got past using it a couple of times. Modern lubes are brilliant. We use some water-based (great for making things super slick) and silicone (that have the staying power to last for hours). Since most sex toys need or are better with lube its really the first purchase you need to make.

Cock rings - These have got to be the best toy for having a low intimidation factor and work way better than you could believe if you have never tried any. The super stretchy ones with vibrators are the most common but since Mrs G is not into vibrators our favourites are the thick silicone set sold by LH - see:-

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32874

The right size one of these worn behind the balls is a great erection aid and can turn what would be a not very serviceable semi into a raging boner. deep penetration with a ring can bring the ring into contact with the lady's clit with excellent results. There are lots of good threads on the topic too for example:-

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-toys/1440313-cock-ring/

Strapons - Definitely further up the intimidation scale but we have steadily increased how much we use these. We started with Mrs G using one on me and there is a great thread on the subject here:-

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/321957-pegging-male-pride-confidence-boosting/

but more recently I have increasingly used one on Mrs G. Its a great way to go if if a serviceable erection is proving elusive (I find using one so erotic it usually kick-starts my gear into full working order anyway). A short thread on this here:-

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/468579-guys-wearing-strapons-instead-of-using/

Chastity devices - Why, you may well ask, would you want to lock away and inhibit erections when we are hoping to encourage them. Well, for us, part of the answer is that when wearing a chastity device the slightest arousal becomes much more apparent and intense so, if you think that a kiss from your wife no longer gets you going the wearing of a chastity device for a few hours might surprise you. We also love the extended foreplay it give with us both being somewhat frustrated by the barrier and this brings back the sorts of feelings we haven't had since before our relationship was consummated (a very long time ago!).

I hope that is enough to kick-start this topic and not so much it frightens anyone off!

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Top post fella, times have changed and the kind of belief systems imposed on a child of the 50's, 60's and 70's is wildly different from today. Many of us believe that those living as a kid during those times lived in some kind of golden age, in many ways it was.

Thank goodness though for not being the age I am now and not back in those days. It has to be said, if I was in my fifties during the 60's or 70's I'd have been sexually dead nearly 20years and with going without for a further 20 or 30 years, should I be fortunate to life this long.

Times have fortunately changed from the Under the counter, something for the weekend, dirty image of sex and has been replaced by openess, access to toys and the medical profession taking seriously the sexual needs of their patients as an important part of their lifes as older people. The internet has a lot to be thanked for..

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Yes, important information! Sex toys are made to be fun, made to enhance sex and masturbation! Don´t take them too "seriously" :) Laught about them, have an experimental hasstle with them, use them in new and adventurous ways, just enjoy and take it easy.

On top of them being fun they can also be amazing! They can give you experiences you have never had and pleasure that is heavenly. They can aid and help in many different needs!

Like someone said about sextoys. "Do you prefer your own legs or a car? Obviously your own legs are more important, but cars can be fun and more efficient in transportation..."

So the "legs" are referred to anatomical parts like a penis or vulva, hands or mouth. They are amazing and good and awsome and valuable! And the "car" is sextoys, they make sexlives and pleasure stronger and more efficient. They are designed to enhance sex, so they often are pretty awsome too, but never better or more important than our own bodies :)

Have fun!

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Hi there everyone! We are in our late 60's and whilst our sex life has always been fine, LH has moved it up to a new level. We've had a threesome with a guest photographer thanks to the positive feedback on the posting your pictures thread and Mrs.GV now has a GF who is a woman from work who has been making come-on signs to her for ages.

We have bought 4 vibrators from LH which most of the time hit the spot - occasionally we are too tired - but Mrs GV is happy to lay back and take all I can offer. And needless to say, she is very generous to me!

So yes, when you turn 60 there is a danger your sex life will slow down but ours has seemed to speed up! We have an elderly neighbour whose wife gave up on sex 35 years ago so I guess we are lucky. But to be fair, I have always been highly sexed and Mrs GV is willing to try most things - now.

But again, thanks to LH for providing the gadgets that make it all possible. Golden oldies be encouraged!

OH

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As "the" goldenoldie, I fully support the themes here. There's no doubt that, now in our 70s, LH supplies have transformed our sex life.

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being in our fifties and been in our relationship for 20 years or more, both respect each others bodies and we recently decide to try toys manly for health reasons, we both talk about what makes us happy, hurt, sad and uncomoftable.

will be doing more reviews once we have tried out our toys more.

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Age is just a number,i think if you are mentally oung and eager to try new things,age can only improve your sex life,imperfect bodies are just a sign you`ve lived.Let`s fly the flag for sex in our later years!

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We too have found that, far from our sex lives slowing up or diminishing in any way, it has just got steadily better which is not what we expected. I think the fact that our bodies don't function quite as well as they did in our youth is paradoxically helpful. The fact that we need to spend more time thinking and talking about how to make it work and more time actually doing it is part of the reason it has got better.

Erectile dysfunction, which once worried me a lot when I had the first few incidents, holds no terrors for me any more. With pegging I reckon I have had the most intense orgasms ever and many of them have been while I'm flaccid. And, more importantly, we now know that I can satisfy my wife with toys and get deep satisfaction myself from doing so. Not until recently had I fully appreciated just how much of my satisfaction in sex comes not from my own orgasm, but from my wife's.

So, although my ED is thankfully an extremely rare thing now - partly due to using an EMS unit to strengthen my pelvic floor but, more importantly, by no longer having the performance pressure to get an erection - I'm quite relaxed about the possibility that it may one day become permanent.

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It's lovely to see more mature people posting here, I recently turned 50 so I"m joining the club. I can honestly say that toys have been completely transformative giving me a sense of control and liberation that I could only dream about in my twenties and thirties.

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Hello fellow oldies! OH here. Hoping you are all still enjoying yourselves!

Do any men out there find that blood pressure pills affect your erection time? I find I can't maintain like I used to - but Mrs GV still seems happy though!

OH

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Goodvibrationz,i don`t suffer that problem(Yet!),but may i suggest cock rings for maintaining erections?

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WillC wrote:

Goodvibrationz,i don`t suffer that problem(Yet!),but may i suggest cock rings for maintaining erections?

I will look up said gadget on the LH site right away! Yes, Mrs GV never fails to raise my enthusiasm but sometimes the tablets cause gravity to prevail. But boldly onwards!

OH

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Cockrings are brilliant regardless of age of the user.
The Get Hard range are good, particular this set of 3 current on sale for £5!!

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32874

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A word of advice...you may prefer to shave your shaft/balls to prevent painful hair pulling when using the latex/rubber rings!

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Evaliz wrote:

It's lovely to see more mature people posting here, I recently turned 50 so I"m joining the club. I can honestly say that toys have been completely transformative giving me a sense of control and liberation that I could only dream about in my twenties and thirties.

Hello, this is Mrs GV. I am rapidly heading towards 70 and yes, yes, yes! Toys have filled me with pleasure too - it's been as you say, a transforming experience. xx

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Age is just a number these days. Its all about how you feel and if you looked after yourselves from an earlier age you can be much much more active and with bags of energy in your later years. This extra VA VA Voom can be easily transferred into bedroom activities .My doctor who has since retired has always said keep sitting on a couch , then you will slowly sieze up. Keep active and moving will prevent this.

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mysteron wrote:

Age is just a number these days. Its all about how you feel and if you looked after yourselves from an earlier age you can be much much more active and with bags of energy in your later years. This extra VA VA Voom can be easily transferred into bedroom activities .My doctor who has since retired has always said keep sitting on a couch , then you will slowly sieze up. Keep active and moving will prevent this.

You're right about that , I may not look 25 but I still feel young inside .

I love using sex toys either on my own or with my OH and I've got to the stage in my life now where I know exactly what turns me on , what I need to orgasm and who ever invented lube needs a medal .....it's an absolute must for me, it makes everything so much more pleasurable .

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My husband has problems keeping his erection and climaxing but swears he still really enjoys our sessions especially when using our Lovehoney toys. He takes the viagra prescribed by the doctor which means he can usually (eventually) climax. He has also tried a cock ring (vibrating) but said this did nothing at all for him. He seems to be happy to carry on as we are but I feel as though I'm getting all the pleasure and am feeling really guilty!

Can anyone suggest something other than a cock ring (he's not into anal) that I can get for him?

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C & S wrote:

My husband has problems keeping his erection and climaxing but swears he still really enjoys our sessions especially when using our Lovehoney toys. He takes the viagra prescribed by the doctor which means he can usually (eventually) climax. He has also tried a cock ring (vibrating) but said this did nothing at all for him. He seems to be happy to carry on as we are but I feel as though I'm getting all the pleasure and am feeling really guilty!

Can anyone suggest something other than a cock ring (he's not into anal) that I can get for him?-

You could try using a stroker with plenty of lube and bring him onto the point of climax .Then jump on top of him to finish off.

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C & S wrote:

My husband has problems keeping his erection and climaxing but swears he still really enjoys our sessions especially when using our Lovehoney toys. He takes the viagra prescribed by the doctor which means he can usually (eventually) climax. He has also tried a cock ring (vibrating) but said this did nothing at all for him. He seems to be happy to carry on as we are but I feel as though I'm getting all the pleasure and am feeling really guilty!

Can anyone suggest something other than a cock ring (he's not into anal) that I can get for him?

Having suffered from intermittent ED I think there are a few points you should consider. I guess the first is that, contrary to what many believe, it is quite possible to orgasm from penile stimulation even when flaccid. I actually found that I was more sensitive and faster to cum when only semi-erect than when fully hard (doubly frustrating for my wife!). So if you treat his bringing you to orgasm and vice versa as two independent things it really helps. I think the suggestion of a stroker is a good one. I can't vouch for the male vibrators from personal experience but many of the reviews are very positive.

Personally I find that a very great deal of my satisfaction comes more from bringing my wife to orgasm than from having an orgasm myself so far from feeling guilty that you are getting all the pleasure I suggest that you should enjoy orgasm knowing it is doing as much for him as it is for you. My personal preference is to use a strapon as everything about it feels completely usual to the extent that I am so turned on it's not that obvious that I'm not doing the penetrating. Usually I find that the using of the stapon on my wife usually gets my so aroused I have a good erection and can then have sex normally to my own orgasm. Not having any performance pressure is, I think, a big contributor in this.

One last thing - he might consider doing pelvic floor exercises - they made a big difference to me.