Orgasm through sex

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Hey guys and girls, this is my first time posting on here so be gentle :)

I wondered if you could give me any tips on making my girlfriend cum through having sex. She's never ever done it before with any of her partners and I'd like to be the first (we men love a challenge!) I can make her cum really hard through oral and g-spot/a-spot stimulation and have given her some absolutely amazing orgams (she didn't know she could squirt and other classics like making her cum so hard she cried after! lol) but I'd like to give her a great one through sex alone.

I recently read the "freeze" technique from the EROS guide online and I had actually done this before on her (without knowing it) and she had responded extremely well so I'm going to give it another go this weekend as I've just ordered some warming lube and a blindfold to spice things up.

So any other tips for a guy wanting to give his girlfriend a big O through sex?

2

Good morning Big E - lovely to see you around! Don't worry either, the 'Army' are fabulous :)

I'm sorry to be of no help in this capacity; it's not really my area of expertise! But it sounds like you know what you're talking about, and if your girlfriend has reacted well to certain things, keep going with that. I haven't read particularly great reviews of warming lube before, so you'll have to update us next week and tell us how the weekend goes (good luck!).

The only thing that I could say (and sorry that this is so obvious and will sound rather daft!) is focussing on clitoral stimulation is what gets me there everytime - I very rarely orgasm through penetration alone. Also, as long as you don't focus too much on the final orgasm and enjoy what's happening in the now, there should be less pressure to actually reach climax - again majorly helps!

Best of luck :) mimi x

3

Big E wrote:

Hey guys and girls, this is my first time posting on here so be gentle :)

I wondered if you could give me any tips on making my girlfriend cum through having sex. [...] I'd like to give her a great one through sex alone. [...]

So any other tips for a guy wanting to give his girlfriend a big O through sex?

Hello Big E and welcome to the forums. :)

"Sex" includes a hugely diverse set of activities. Since you say that your girlfriend can orgasm enjoyably through many sexual activities, I'm wondering if you meant that you want your girlfriend to be able to orgasm solely through penis-in-vagina penetration?

As far as I'm aware, in the absence of any other stimulation, very few women can orgasm solely through penis-in-vagina penetration. There was another thread here which recently mentioned the CAT technique. For that to work, instead of thrusting in the usual way, the man lies on top of the woman in a kind of missionary position and moves himself up and down (rather than in and out), thus stimulating her clitoris. I think it's part of tantra. I have no personal experience of this myself.

I sometimes orgasm during penis-in-vagina sex when my partner wears a vibrating cock ring, and I can stimulate my clitoris on that during penile penetration of my vagina. So you could try that?

Good luck. :)

4

This is the thread which mentioned CAT:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/sex-talk/78436-best-position/

5

It's actually more a case of what SHE can do to help herself orgasm during penetration, or at least it's the case for me.

Thinking about things technically, a man normally "uses" ( for want of a better term) a woman's body to make himself come during intercourse, i.e. speeding up and thrusting harder etc. so it makes sense for a woman to do the same. If she's not putting any effort into it and letting you do everything then it probably wont happen so easily.

The technique that works best for me and my hubby is that I get on top of him and get into a good position and rhythm, I really have to grind away and get my hips moving forwards - it gives my clitoris good friction and also gets my g-spot if I'm lucky, BUT, if he tries to "help" by thrusting upwards then it throws me completely off my rhythm - so what he does do is try and lie still and bite and suck my nipples and also massage my bum cheeks, spreading them them wide and pushing them together, I also find that slowing right down and almost lifting myself right off him really gets me going as I'm hugely sensitive around my urethral tissue a finger stimulating my anus works wonders too.. We've had a couple of simultaneous orgasms that way, which is a nice bonus. It's a good thigh workout too!

We have a vibrating cock ring and haven't found it does much for either of us but we will persevere as it does get him at a nice angle for penetration, perhaps it just takes a bit of practice.

She's a lucky girl to have you so concerned with her pleasure but try not to make sex too goal orientated, she may just end up feeling under pressure to" perform" , the stats say that half of women have problems getting to orgasm, so just be pleased that you can please her so well.

6

There is a sex therapy technique that I read about which involves manual clitoral stimulation up to the point of orgasm , the man then enters her and becomes the "trigger" for her orgasm after a few tries.

It is meant to be quite succesful in helping women who've never had an orgasm and I know that my strongest orgsms are when my hubby is inside me and uses his fingers to stimulate my clit whilst his penis is barely inside me, my orgasm can be so strong

7

There is a sex therapy technique that I read about which involves manual clitoral stimulation up to the point of orgasm , the man then enters her and becomes the "trigger" for her orgasm after a few tries.

It is meant to be quite succesful in helping women who've never had an orgasm and I know that my strongest orgsms are when my hubby is inside me and uses his fingers to stimulate my clit whilst his penis is barely inside me, my orgasm can be so strong

8

There is a sex therapy technique that I read about which involves manual clitoral stimulation up to the point of orgasm , the man then enters her and becomes the "trigger" for her orgasm after a few tries.

It is meant to be quite succesful in helping women who've never had an orgasm and I know that my strongest orgsms are when my hubby is inside me and uses his fingers to stimulate my clit whilst his penis is barely inside me, my orgasm can be so strong that

9

Thanks for the comments so far guys! I didn't mean for it to sound so goal orientated as it read as we really do have some fantastic sex.

Mimi - I'll try and get a review up after the weekend, I've been meaning to write one about the bullet vibrator we bought ages ago anyway!

Lubyanka, I was refering to solely penis-in-vagina intercourse and no other stimulation but I'm starting to wonder if I might be trying to do something that a lot of women do find virtually impossible.

Lady Lara - I've often had her on top of me and grinding away and she enjoys it immensly and she even squirts sometimes in this position but she's never said it's made her cum, just that it feels fantastic. Thanks for saying nice things about me trying to pleasure her as well, I really do get off on that satisfaction I give her when she's just had a massive orgasm, there's nothing quite like it!

I think what I'll give a go is starting off a bit of sensual clit play with the warming lube/oral and get her nice and aroused and wet and then get out the cock ring (vibrating or not, it won't matter too much I think!) and start off with some slow sex and try the freeze technique with some of the CAT stuff that was mentioned and if that's working well I'll stick with it, otherwise I might get her on top so she can work herself up and then try and make her cum through playing with her clit whilst she's on top. Maybe if she cums whilst I'm inside her this way it might make her more relaxed about cuming whilst I'm inside her in the future. I have made her cum whilst we were doing anal and I was stimulating her both inside on her clit before though but what I'm after is slightly different than that lol

Thanks for the comments guys, I like to get as much info as I can!

10

Lady Lara - That's a great idea, I'll maybe work that into what I just posted up there :)

11

I find that my orgasms are rarely the same twice - it can be anything from a light flutter to full on, ultra stong muscle contractions. My g-spot orgasms are nice but nothing spectacular and when I occasionally squirt, the feeling is just a build up of extreme heat, a good clitoral orgasm is the absolute best for me - if I have a blended type of orgasm it makes me feel like I want more of them and could just keep going, even after 3 it still wasn't ultimately satisfying like a strong clitorally focussed one.

Flat on her front is nice as you get really lovely deep sensations on your front wall and g-spot, she can just lie there and enjoy it!

Remember the 2-6-2 rule - out of every 10 sessions, 2 will be mind blowing, 6 will be" nice" and the other 2- you'll wonder why you bothered. Can you tell I've been doing a lot of research??

12

Hello Big E and welcome to the forum!

My OH likes to be on her belly so I can slide my cock deep inside her from behind. This hits her Gspot and I can also reach around and under her and play with her clit for a more powerful Orgasam or she gets up on all fours (doggie style) or. . .you can go missionary and move as high up her body as possible whilst inside her and rub her clit with the base of your cock whist you're fucking her, she will probably grind into you hard too if you do this or. . .get a vibrating cock ring so she can get ontop and grind down on that!

SG69 x

13

Yes, that's the "bridge" sex therapy technique I posted about earlier. Caressing her whole pubic mound and circling her clit with a well lubed thumb is just the job, if she thrusts her pelvis at the same time it can also be a trigger ( it is for me).

14

For a good while, I thought it was simply impossible for me to orgasm through intercourse. However, I was proven wrong! I had my first orgasm through sex when my boyfriend thought to put a large cushion under my bum during the deed. This meant that the angle he was penetrating me at was different to normal. It also meant that somehow I was able to get my legs open wider and more comfortably, and my boyfriend found it easier to thrust. This also meant I was getting a hell of alot more clitoral stimulation than I normally would without the pillow. It was fantastic, I didnt even feel that orgasm coming! Now we use a pillow every time during sex, it enhances the experience so much. I'd definitely recommend at least giving it a try.

Having said that though, orgasms arent the be all and end all for me, as I've heard from alot of other women. I can have amazing sex without having an orgasm. In a way, orgasms spoil it for me sometimes lol. I orgasm, then my genitals just decide they've had enough now, which is great just as my boyfriend is building up to orgasm. I'm not just gonna tell him to stop lol, even though I'm not feeling it any more.

15

Good one Ecksvie! Happy days.

SG69 x

16

Take one hot Sunday afternoon, a vibrating cock ring, a shed load of lube and me on top and we had a stupendous, simultaneous and utterly fabulous joint orgasm - I started off slow and gentle and built up a really good rhythm, at first I was holding onto the headboard while he was nipping/sucking my nipples, then he pulled me down onto him , pulling my hair and kissing me so deeply it's a wonder we didn't suffocate! I was making tiny hip movements and we could really feel the vibrations by being in constant pelvic contact - it was lovely. I just remember saying "oh god yes" and he said "you've set me off now" and that was it, my legs were shaking and I couldn't get off him to turn the bullet off! It's what Sundays are made for.

17

Hey BigE!

Like most women I find cumming through penetration alone fairly tricky and think its generally easier to cum with penetration + clitoral stimulation.

I find that girl-on-top is the easiest position to cum in and I tend to grind my clit against my partner and slid back and forth (rather than just bouncing up and down like a porn-star!) If I lean forward to get to the right angle then my g-spot also gets stimulated (if you've made your girl cum from manual g-spot stimulation, chances are she will be able to cum this way using your cock). Another tip I'd recommend is rhythmically squeezing and releasing pelvic floor muscles in time to the grinding (her not you!)

Best of luck commerade, happy f*****g!

xxKPxx

18

A surprising amount of girls are unresponsive to vaginal stimulation, clitoral and g-spot action is always good, and do a lot, but sometimes the penis just isnt the best stimulator for such actions, as poking the g-spot isnt as good as a good rub from a finger or a good vibe. and the same with the clit. well, put simply, you arent exactly penetrating her if youre rubbing her clit with your cock, but you could certainly ensure your crotch should be rubbing often during sex, or even giving it a damn good pounding might just set her off.

or use extra help from vibrators and the like, and other sensations in other areas, like the nipples and breasts in general, and a large variety of other things.

19

Kronopticon wrote:

A surprising amount of girls are unresponsive to vaginal stimulation, clitoral and g-spot action is always good, and do a lot, but sometimes the penis just isnt the best stimulator for such actions, as poking the g-spot isnt as good as a good rub from a finger or a good vibe. and the same with the clit. well, put simply, you arent exactly penetrating her if youre rubbing her clit with your cock, but you could certainly ensure your crotch should be rubbing often during sex, or even giving it a damn good pounding might just set her off.

In my experience, most women are highly responsive to vaginal stimulation. Also in my experience, a surprising number of partners only think that a vagina is unresponsive to stimulation when it is really unresponsive to their stimulation. I can assure you, vaginas are responsive to the right stimulation, so if you're not getting the response you and your partners want, then please stop blaming the vagina.

So if you find that many of your female partners have vaginas which you think are unresponsive to stimulation, then you might want to reconsider your personal approach to vaginal stimulation in favour of a more considerate and effective approach.

Furthermore, in my experience, anybody trying to stimulate my enjoyment by poking, prodding, rubbing, and pounding, will fail. In my experience, those are all classical signs of the incompetent lover, and only work well in the sex industry where women are paid to pretend to love anything a man does.

So please note all of this when reading the advice above. Please please please remember that poking, prodding, rubbing and pounding are only appropriate with lovers whom you know very well, and who have clearly indicated explicitly to you that this is their preference. Otherwise, please remember that the sexual example set by the sex industry promotes fantasy and not reality.

Please be gentle and creative and generous and accommodating. Your partners will love you for it. :)

20

Lubyanka wrote:

Please be gentle and creative and generous and accommodating. Your partners will love you for it. :)

I think this comment sums it all up from Lubyanka.

I think you already know BigE that your girlfriend is not a piece of meat and needs to be respected and worshipped in the bedroom as well as in life in general. I worship the ground my OH walks on as does she me and I find that, that in itself makes life and definitely sex a more so deeply satisfying experience on what I can only describe as a spiritual level.

Why overcomplicate?

SG69 x