Orgasmic differences and problems.

Sex Tips & Talk
1

As a female I can confirm that I have always taken longer to reach orgasm than my (Male) partners. I have also suffered short bouts of anorgasmia and occasions where it took ages to reach orgasm. I just wonder how common or uncommon these problems can be for females especially, but both sexes in general. I also think starting a thread like this will put anyones mind at rest who have learned from porn and assume a woman is supposed to spontaneously orgasm the moment a penis slides inside of her. I have often had a suspicious relationship with my orgasms, assuming I "Take longer" than other girls. I have also experienced a snidey comment or two from men due to the time I took so I guess now I am older and wiser and feel more confident, I want to share my experience with others, especially any young folks worrying that they are doing something wrong or taking too long etc.

Join in if you feel so inclined to share your experiences, it would also be good to get guys opinions on this.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 20-30 mins average, up to about an hour at times.

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 10-20 mins

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Harder

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes, quite a few

If yes, how long did it last: Up to two months (Longest)

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? No Never

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? No only about 70% of the time.

...........................................................................................................................................................................

Hopefully if more people join in, we can discover that there really is no "Normal" way and that will put some peoples minds at rest. Feel free to add or delete any questions you don't want to answer or add more details/questions/problems too!

2

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 10-15mins

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: mintues (T's fault as its an amazing toy)

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Easier

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes with ex

If yes, how long did it last: Dont know

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? Yes

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? Yes so far every time yes

3

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 10-20 mins average. If my mind is really elsewhere from stress or whatever it can be 40 mins or more

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 10-20 mins

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Harder

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes

If yes, how long did it last: About a year. Two reasons: 1) my partner at the time didnt know what he was doing. 2) I wasnt really into the sex with him. I was able to orgasm on my own but to be honest I was in a bad place at the time and just wasnt interested in masturbating.

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? No Never

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? No - about 90% of the time. Just cant get there sometimes.

4

Sex: Male

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues)

I can knock one out in 30 seconds, I usualy end up thinking some filthy filthy stuff if she's in charge, 15 mins

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: N/A

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Yes

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: No

If yes, how long did it last: N/a

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? N/A

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? Eventualy

Was I supposed to do her orgasms?

5

No, I know some of the questions are female specific but I would love guys opinions on the rest too, to get a balance between the two sexes differences and similarities. I wanted to add loads more (Eg can you continue and orgasm again, males do you ever lose your erection during the session. Have you ever been unable to get an erection, and so on) but I didnt want it to be a massively long quiz so I focused on questions important to me. Feel free to add your own comments or further details if you wish though! Please do x

6

Make a male one :)

7

Well there is only one question above that is female specific xx (The penetration one) Add some more if you wish though x

8

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 20-30 mins average, up to about an hour at times.

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: N/A

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Easier

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: No

If yes, how long did it last N/A

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? Yes when pegged by OH

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? Yes.

9

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 30 mins plus.

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: No idea

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Harder

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes, quite often

If yes, how long did it last: A long time

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? No Never

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? No only about 60% of the time.

10

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 15-30 mins

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 10-15 mins

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Same

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes

If yes, how long did it last: More of an occasional thing. Sometimes I just can't get there.

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? Very very rarely, but it's not as satisfying when I do. Clit stimulation to orgasm with penetration is the best.

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? No only about 60% of the time.

11

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 3-30 minutes: if someone else is doing it for me I can come in a snap

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 5-15 mins depending on how grumpy I am

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Much easier

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes, with my last partner because we only had intercourse under duress (he wasn't interested and I could feel it)

If yes, how long did it last: A year

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? I have done with a couple of partners who had a particular penis shape, which is quite wide and flat

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? Now, every time because he is very skilled and persistent, but overall since I became sexually active probably 65%. I'll move to get the right plane of contact or lend a hand if it's not happening.

12

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 15-25 Minutes.

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 15-45 minutes depending on how I'm feeling.

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Easier.

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm? Yes

If yes, how long did it last: 7-8 weeks.

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? Yes, but rarely.

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? Yes every time so far, But I've got a new partner so I can't really weigh out a percentage yet!

13

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) about 30 minutes - I usually struggle to orgasm through this method. If I am using a vibe too then it drops to about 3 minutes.

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 5 minutes

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Easier

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes, I struggled and stressed myself out because I couldn't which then made it worse.

If yes, how long did it last: About a year

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? Yes, if it is hitting my g-spot or he goes fast and furious.

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? About 70% of the time.

Just a note, I actually find it easier to orgasm with a woman than a man, women seem to know what feels good. When a man does it well it is very good, as with a woman. However, men doesn''t seem to get what is good as easily.

14

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues)fingers longer but tongue ( preferred sometimes upto 20 mins ..

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 10- wi the right porn max

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? only ever orgamed with a partner ever thru clit stim but so far easier alone

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: rarely ... but some

If yes, how long did it last: Uweek or two max

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? No Never

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? nope unless tongue

15

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 20-30 mins with tongue, fingers rarely work

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 10-15 mins

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Harder

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes, stress related

If yes, how long did it last: Up to three months

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? rarely

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? No only about 70% of the time.

16

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) i physically can't let go through oral sex, or manual stimulation from another, myself take between 5 and 15mins

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 10mins

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? Easier

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm?: Yes

If yes, how long did it last: fits and starts, sometimes i just can't, longest is prob 2/3 weeks

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? Yes, but only via missionary sex, which is baffling as it's meant to be one of the least effective in giving a female g spot orgasm! cannot orgasm on top/doggy/spooning or any other way :/ anyone else found this?

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? Never

17

Sex: Female

How long do you take to orgasm on average from manual stimulation (Fingers/tongues) 5-10 Minutes.

How long does it take you to reach orgasm using a favourite sex toy: 20 minutes

Do you find it harder or easier to orgasm with a partner present/helping? harder

Have you ever had periods of time where you just couldnt orgasm? No, sometimes it's been tough, but I never gave up!

Do you orgasm through penetration alone (No clit stimulation)? No.

Do you orgasm every time with your partner in control of the touching? If not, what is your rough percentage? No. Dare I say zero? (!?!?!)

18

I am so pleased so many people responded. It is heart warming to see that there is no "Normal" and that nothing about my experiences are abnormal as a female. I hope this helps others too.

As for the men answering......Do none of you own a sex toy? :O (strokers, anal toys etc? no? :( ) hehe glad you guys have answered too. I think I am noticing that often men can take longer when a partner is in control and I never expected that. I thought men would take longer alone. See you are blowing my assumptions out the water :D Its a question I have never thought to ask my partners so this is interesting indeed.

Thank you all for sharing your answers.

Hopefully more will too xxx

19

Yes I mean the question is in two parts. First your time taken on average when just using manual stimulation, then your time using toys (or any sex aids) does your anal toy help you get there faster? I notice with the ladies that toys help them get there faster in most cases but not all, with some its the opposite way around. Boys toys count too though, any kind xx

I just wish I could go back and add one more question for both sexes which would be this: Are you happy with the time it takes you to orgasm or do you think you are too fast or slow" Grrrr

20

ive only ever orgasmed with a partner through oral stim or when i was rubbing my clit on ANY part of them .