Here is my story, how my sexuality have developed and changed. Sexuality is lifelong path, I dont know where it leads.
- First I thought that I will not enjoy sex at all, cause my first time was painful. But then I had nice sex and thought I could like sex too, I got hope that I would learn to like sex.
One guy fucked me sensitively, he was quite shy but strong and nice. Suddenly I felt really good, and felt my pussy pulsating around his penis. It felt good, but it was really quick, he came at the same time due to my orgasm. I had had sex only couple of times earlier so I was surprised.
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After that I started masturbating internally first time. I wanted to remember the feeling him inside of me, and i touched my vagina curiously inside with 1 finger, then with 2 fingers cause I imitated penis inside me. And I felt warm and horny again, dizzy feeling, and vagina pulsating. It was short again, couple of pulsations.
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I started to get orgasm every time I had sex, in intercourse. I enjoyed clit stimulation much too, but did not get orgasm by that, only got horny and wanted something inside me like my vagina was asking it so much. So, my first orgasm with another was in intercourse, I have learned its quite rare and much typical is to get clit orgasm first?
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Then next very memorable orgasm was when I first time ejaculated with my ex. I had wonderful, loving and horny sex with him, and usually get 1 orgasm fast but could not get more. I did not even know multiorgasms is possible, had not heard of it neither female ejaculation. We were in other persons home visiting, but when they went sleep with his girlfriend, me and my ex felt horny and started to make love silently in the sofa. We had to be very silent… it felt so good and naughty too…
And suddenly I felt really good, warm feeling everywhere in my body, and noticed much liquid. I was under and he on top. I asked ‘did you just cum?’, but he said no - this liquid came from you somehow. We were really confused - what is this liquid? Its from me, but it does not seem to be pee? I even tasted and smelled it. But in the morning I noticed that (luckily!) there was no trace at all in the sofa. At home I masturbated, imagining the same situation, and when I stimulated my g-spot, it happened again. Then I started to google what is this liquid and found out concept of female ejaculation. I had many ejaculations and enjoyed it a lot… I could ejaculate only with men I trusted and loved, and only in 2 positions in intercourse when man was on top or I was on top. Sometimes I got orgasm and ejaculation both at the same time, sometimes separately.
BUT I stopped having ejaculations at all, when my latest ex suggested its just pee. I am quite sure its not (does not smell or taste - i even tasted my pee to know the difference). But some kind of lock came for me 
He had given me many ejaculations and suddenly said so rudely, I felt hurt and since that I have not had ejaculations and my own attitude have chenged too, sadly. I would love to experience it again and with my loved-one - maybe here I will free myself again. Well, there was much other kind of mental violence also in the relationship, so thats why I got some sexual locks.
- Next very memorable orgasm was with my next ex. He was the first, that made me cum with cunnilingus and it was my first clit orgasm. I was his first sex partner, we explored each others a lot. He absolutely loved cunnilingus, so it was first time i could receive it long time like 30 minutes. And i learned to receive, just be. It was so gentle and loving… i relaxed more and more, until for my big surprise I got my first clit orgasm. It was very warm feeling with vagina pulsations, but not as strong I thought. I always thought i was missing someting very huge, but I noticed that vaginal orgasms are usually stronger for me. Anyway i was happy to finally get ‘the orgasm everyone gets first’.
With that ex i had so many memorable sex moments. We were together 7 years and explored our sexuality as our main focus 
with him I started to train my pelvic muscles and that was the biggest gift!
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The most memorable orgasm with him was when I first time got multiorgasms - I realized its definitely possible to get many orgasms. I learned that stimulation can continue, but much more gently, or to other body parts. Not straight to the clit right after orgasm (sometimes that is possible too, though).
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Then I liberated more too, and got more sensitive, I experienced nipple orgasm, then got orgasm of kissing, when he touched one part in my feet, then from teeth touching, whispering, breathing etc… I learned that i can have orgasm from almost everything - mind and letting go is the key.
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At some point i got with him my first very long, strong orgasm, after really long and gentle stimulation of vagina inside. First i was happy how strong orgasm came… but then when it just kept coming, i got scared. Doesnt this end at all? Will i die? Is this dangerous? What happens to me? This cant be real, this is not possible… it lasted about 15 minutes without any pause. My pelvic muscles hurt, but it just kept pulsating. I did not know its possible to get this strong orgasm… i had had only seconds orgasms and with ex sometimes EVEN about minute, and felt it was forever. Suddenly I got many minutes orgasm. Well, that opened me up somehow to new world.
Once my ex took from a timer how long my really long orgasm lasted - it was 40 minutes without stop! -
And I was curious how many orgasms I am able to get. He stimulated me with various ways, i was tied up, and got 100 orgasms. Then he stopped counting and stimulating, did not have power anymore. Well, and I dont want to try that again, cause that was over my limit. My whole body had shaked and muscles contracted so much, that I ache everywhere and was in pain many days. And i was afraid of having heart attack… but well, it was interesting to notice that I truly am able to get sooo much orgasms. More typical was to have 5-30 orgasms per session.
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Once I had sex 9 hours. First we together, but I still felt so horny I continued masturbating. Not intercourse so much, cause I got orgasms easily in many ways. But my pelvic muscles hurt already.
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Unfortunately, and maybe unsurprisingly, we were actually sex addicts with him. I was addicted to strenghten my pelvic floor muscles and get orgasms. Like hungry monster living between my legs and controlling my life. We had also group sex etc. Just sex, sex, sex. When I did not have sex, I wrote about it… at some point he said ‘i love sex with you, but could we do more something else too? I feel its too much already, i dont have time enough for other things…’.
I also had painful cramps due to rough vagina muscles training. My record of vaginal weight lifting was about 12 kilos. It was totally mad. World record is 14 kilos - that was my aim. Orgasms got painful so that I could not get long orgasms anymore… and intercourse was painful too. But I could not stop, I wanted to be stronger and tighter. I did not believe when he said that sex with me hurts his penis. I just kept going and wanted to have strongest pussy on earth… of course that was due to some traumas and feeling of not being enough as i am. Thats why I went so far, cause the inner, mental pain was still there and I tried to flee it. I thought that if i was world champion, I could believe my vagina and I am good enough to be loved… how sad.
Finally, my ex said that if I dont stop training, he will leave me. That was mind blowing… i stopped training pelvic muscles totally, and did not train many years. It was the fear of get abandoned that made me train, and same fear made me stop training. It did not help, that where ever I wrote about my training, men got really curious and sent me pictures of their cum etc… It made me feel that I am worth and sexy if my vagina is strong. And if not, will i be nothing? Finally he left me suddenly and I felt quite worthless some time. But i learned to love myself finally when I noticed that I can love myself alone too.
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First time I decided that I would rather be single whole my life than be with someone who dont appreciate and love me, accept their all feelings and my feelings, does not use any kind of substances etc. I had high standards, and I thought I will never find this ‘perfect match’, so I decided to be alone and love myself. But miracle happened, and I found love without searching, when I least expected.
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Well, nowadays I am in most loving relationship. First time in my life i feel safe, loved and free. When we met, i had not trained pelvic muscles in about 2 years and learned to love myself. But i still had the ability to have multiple orgasms easily. When he first touched my back and neck, I orgasmed. But did not say anything, cause we were on first date. I was in his arms, in the plastic boat, and I shaked more and more, the more intense orgasms got. He gently touched my back and it felt sooo good. So… appreciating. Gentle. Loving. Caring. Safe. Shy.
So, I had orgasm with him literally from the first touch. And it was not even supposed to be a date! I said I dont want anything sexual or romantic, just friendship cause I feel safe and good with him. I thought there is nothing more. But when I went to his arms and just layed there… i felt so warm and lovely everywhere. And when he touched my back for the first time so sensitively… i just could not avoid getting orgasm. When I shaked so much in his arms, and he did not see my face, he suddenly asked ‘Are you OKAY, is there something wrong?’
And maybe I should have said: ‘yes I am totally okay, just getting strong continuous orgasms here, cause it feels so good to be near you and your touch feels magic… i think i will faint soon if you touch me more, but cant ask you to stop cause it feels so amazing’.
But no, i could not say that on a first date, when we had not even kissed yet ! He would have thought i am mad or something I had figured out, that for many men, even multiorgasm was a myth and unbelievable. So who would believe if i told what i really experienced? He, who did not know me yet almost at all. So, I just burst out laughing uncontrollably. And laughed many minutes before I could talk anything, amd I got orgasm of the laughing too. And he was so worried, i could sense that. And that made me laugh harder. I tried to ‘enjoy secretly’ and he thought I had something wrong! He thought he did something wrong when I was happier than ever in my life! When first time I felt so safe, loved and so much pleasure. So, I just laughed like mad, and yet thought that no: i can not say in first date that was npt even supposed to be a date, that I just got orgasms about 30 minutes or 1 hour, no. So, when I could speak again, I said to him that yes I am okay, just feel so good, nothing to worry, please continue the touching…
It took many hours until I had courage to kiss him first time. I was in his arms, but so shy suddenly ! So shy both of us, and yet so horny and so much pleasure. Without even kissing.
I remember that first kiss. Somehow it felt like first ever. So gentle, shy, curious, so soft and sweet. And long. We kissed whole day in the plastic boat, I got orgasms in his arms. I feel so horny when I think about that ! After kissing long time in the plastic boat, very near each others, we went to beach, to forest and put on hammoch I had with me. There was path just beside and people passing by, but they did not see us. In the lake there was people swimmimg too. We kissed in the hammock and he sucked my tits… he fingered me a little and I touched his horny fantastic fallos. But we did not intercourse, cause we wanted to chech sex disease tests first and. So it was horny and I felt like my vagina was on fire.
Later, when we had had sex and it was lovely, he once asked: ‘your vagina feels so wonderful, why is it pulsating all the time when my finger is inside?’. And i just got really embarrassed, I hid myself under the cover and could not come visible for a moment. I felt like revealed animal. I had got some kind of mental locks, so that I enjoyed a lot, but had to enjoy ‘secretly’ or at least not talk about my pleasure and orgasm. I felt safe being in my own ‘bubble’. So, when he said this, i felt i have revealed and was very vulnerable.
I had experienced amazing things with ex, but he also hurt my sexuality and me. For example when I said I had so amazing sex, and I know he had too, he ‘denied’ it afterwards, some kind of lock I noticed. Said rudely for me, like ‘fucking whore’ etc that hurt me. So, i had lock to speak about my pleasure anymore, to protect myself mentally. I felt i had shown and experienced something very sacred with ex, and then he just ruined it. So I did not want to open up anymore in all states, i wanted to enjoy but keep it for myself, not speak about it anymore cause last time i spoke about my deepest pleasure, I was offended on purpose.
And so I did not say my vagina was pulsating so much because I was having continuous orgasm. I felt ashamed and said that i dont want he comments anything about my sexuality. That i can not enjoy if we speak about it, i must enjoy secretly. Told some of my sexual history. He respected that, im glad of it.
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When I had just met love of my life, I was really horny. Like all the time. We did not meet every day so I really missed him every time we were separately. Nowadays we live together. Once I was alone in place where I can make very loud sound. I released old traumas again, and yelled. After that I felt really liberated and horny. So I decided to try to make a piano play about orgasm - how does it feel like. I started recording, and surprised how horny I got - near orgasm. I had experienced orgasms without touch, just by breathing, so I knew its possible, but this was new experience. I got orgasm when I try to play how orgasm would sound like piano. And the recording was on, I got it on tape (well, had done some sex videos too, so it was not frightening anymore - more like exciting). But what I really surprised, was that the orgasm was really long and strong! Before this, i never enjoyed so much alone, i ‘needed’ sex to enjoy deeply. But first time I felt I am totally ENOUGH FOR MYSELF. I did not miss anyone, I even eanted to be just alone. I felt like my inner masculine and feminine falled in love from years being separated, they made love for the first time ever. It was super intense, maybe the most meaningful moment in my life. I cried of happiness and love and relief. Orgasm lasted really long, about 15 minutes, i felt like both feminine and masculine got many powerful orgasms. I felt like the energy body of masculine was with the feminine - like penis was inside of me, even though i knew physically there are not. But it felt like physical. And not only i felt penis inside me - also I felt what man feels. I felt strong, warm, wet, soft, pulsating pussy around my dick, at the same time. First time I understood WHY my partners had cum so quick - this was amazing feeling, to be inside of me,I screamed many times, moaned, many sounds came out of me - and I am lucky to be able to hear the record over and over again! Finally I appreciated myself and love myself totally. After energy orgasms I masturbated with fingers too, but that was not so intense anymore. That was amazing experience and I am sad I have not experienced it again! Maybe it was once in a lifetime, like falling in love with love of my life was too.
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Well, I was really horny that fall and had many wonderful sex sessions. But after about months, my loved-one asked have i had an orgasm with him? That he is not sure, cause I seem to enjoy so much, but he is confused. That was shoch for me! I had hidden it so much that he could not understand me - suddenly i felt really lonely. I thought he understood, cause usually when I had an orgasm, he cum at the same time, could not help it - his penis knew at least. And he could not continue, so sometimes I did not get multiple, as earlier, but I knew that slowly he can hold more, learn as my ex learned too (yes and he gets nowadays sometimes 2 orgasms in 1 session). I had just enjoyed and orgasmed so many times with him, but he did not know it ! I spoke about it and said yes i have had, many, from the beginning.
But I realized I can not say the word orgasm anymore, i was traumatized of the word - if I tried to say it aloud, I freezed and felt horrible. So i tried to speak but so that i hide at the same time. To reveal myself and hide. Luckily he understood my lock, and let me open up slowly in my own time. I started using other words for orgasm i could not say, ‘highest pleasure’ ‘waves’ etc.
And now, about 1 year from this, I have again felt safe to speak about my orgasms and finally he seems to understand. He says that he noticed when I enjoyed the most, but could not believe that having many orgasms is possible. I have told my whole sexual path for him, all traumas and joy, healing and liberating. He said he noticed how much I enjoy (often he cums when I have first orgasm in intercourse, but luckily nowadays he can control not to cum too early). But he said it was unbelievable, cause my vagina pulsates so often, so strong, and sometimes so long or so fast (depends a lot how much time takes for me to get an orgasm). That its not possible to have so many orgasms, he thought Cause his earlier partners had 1 or not at all - one seemed even to fake orgasms so I think that may have hurt his trust.
It happens for me too, sometimes that i dont get orgasm, i say it honestly then. But much more it happens that i get many orgasms.
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With him I have experienced new kind of orgasms. That kind of, that i feel like my whole body relaxes and fill with light. Like honey. I have experienced first time orgasms that dont pulsate or contract at all - but my whole body relaxes suddenly very much. And i see sometimes space and galaxies or landscapes - like flying all over the Earth and seeing beauty. I feel that our lovemaking is really tantric. Sometimes we look into each others eyes and say we love each others, its so lovely and romantic, sometimes i orgasm when he says he loves me.
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But I noticed, that physically my orgasms were not so strong anymore. So I decided to train pelvic muscles again, now my record is 4 kilograms vaginal weight lifting (used to be 12 kilos when I was strongest). But this time i feel its healthy: i respect my boundaries and i love my vagina. I love to feel its strenght, but dont want to hurt it. I want deeper pleasure for myself, not for other. Actually, i think my vagina is totally enough for him already, cause usually he cums easily (sometimes too fast).
The secrets to have multiorgasms/strong/long orgasms are:
-strong pelvic muscles, it increases sensitivity and in good condition ‘love muscles’ are able to enjoy long time
-releasing sexual traumas, to free the mind and body. For example TRE trauma releasing shaking is really good.
-learn to have orgasms in many ways singular first: from g-spot, clitoris, nipples… tantra helps, to learn to be more present and sensitive, breathing deep, deep trust and connection.
-not AIMING to have orgasm, just letting go, in meditative state, without any hurry, gentle receiving pleasure long time.
-And when the first orgasm is over, continue lovemaking, but not stimulation in the same way the first orgasm came. If it was clitoral orgasm, start to stimulate nippkes for example.
-MIND is the most powerful sexual organ! So what you think is important. Or not to think, just being in meditative receiving.
I get easily many orgasms in many ways nowadays. It have been a long path of getting to know my body, love, trauma releasing, freeing. BUT if I want to get strong orgasm(s), usually it wont happen. The secret is to learn let go of all demands, aims and everything. And with that helps tantra, mindfulness, meditation, for some bdsm or tied up (=you can not be in control anymore).
AND: multiorgasm is not always better than singular. Both varies a lot. Sometimes I get very short and mild orgasm, but am not horny enough to continue. Sometimes I get 1 strong orgasm and am happy with it. Sometimes I get many mild orgasms but none of them is very strong. And sometimes I get many mild orgasms and 1 strong, or many strong different orgasms. EVERY time I make love is new adventure, I dont know how deep pleasure I am able to feel.
My tip is: concentrate on each others, in the moment, to be present for each others and to receive and give without hurry, just enjoy sensations, and miracles may happen one day.
Unique.
thank you for sharing your story with us
… I’m in long term relationship, recently married. The wife is very sexually apprehensive. Just wants orgasm. Sex cum goodnight…while she was away lately I got myself a toy, prostate one. Had a prostate orgasm. Hands free, not even erect. Best feeling I have ever had in my life. Iv tried twice since and got no where near it. As much as I love fucking and cuming with or inside my beautiful wife the thrill of getting an orgasm analy, still get shivers thinking of it
I think conversation is so important in our lives