We have been married 25+ years and during that time explored nudism, swinging, BDsm, fetish, and our own kinks. We are both up there in the years now and she is postmenopausal with no interest in sex anymore. It doesn’t change my love for her at all but it does mean any arousal, exploration, or play is solo these days. I saw a great post in another thread on this topic and was going to quote it but reconsidered. I hope the original poster will join in here but it’s not my place to call him out on it. How about others? Are you in a committed relationship but sexually solo? If so, are you making it work?
Yes. 30 yrs here bro.
She kinda laughs at but deals with my kinky/horny self
That’s kind of it though. It’s not great to miss out on the intimacy but as long as your own (committed) sexuallity is accpeted by your partner it should be all good and we make do.
… and thanks for jumping into this discussion.
Absolutely.
The first time i walked out of the bathroom in panties my wife was kinda freaked lol
Ive until recently danced around where i got them
Hi I’m sorry you are going through this, a bit similar to me been married 12 years but known each other 25 years and have 2 children under 10.
Since birth of second child it’s been over 3 years since had sex and of course I miss it but like you said I miss the intimacy closeness that’s what hurts. Others gave great advice to me saying to talk to my wife go to counselling unfortunately my wife has rejected this as she does not feel the need and maybe denies that there is a problem I tried to keep calm and not let any emotions come out but she was pretty upset talking to a stranger about our private life waste of money etc
Whilst this advice did not work for us it maybe good for you as a non judgemental way of exploring why she has given up on being intimate with you.
It can be difficult with children involved but if that’s not an issue would a romantic getaway help rekindle some romance
I wish you luck and hope things work out for you
You say your wife is post menopausal - is she on any kind of HRT? Before I started HRT my libido was non existent and had been for longer than I care to remember.
You can start HRT even if post menopausal, but it’s a personal choice and personal health risks need to be carefully considered, an appt with a menopause specialist would be a start.
I’d also recommend counselling, either on your own or together.
Good luck
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Been married 37 years, we love each other totally and are very very comfortable with each other. We have not had PIV sex for around 10 years. It totally works for us and are very happy.
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Joys of the menopause, hormone levels going crazy.
Hopefully it will sort itself out quickly
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Only way to sort it is to add the missing hormones back into the body via HRT.
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HRT is one option we are looking into but it needs to be her choice… not mine and we don’t know if that is the best or only option. Our marriage is solid so we will continue to discuss.
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