Hey,
I’m after some advice… my wife is quite vanilla in the bedroom same routine, same positions, lights off, cover on, she says that is how she likes it but let’s be fair we all know there is so much more fun to be had. Any tips on making her see sense would be greatly appreciated.
We have spoke about toys, lingerie, positions ect but nope she likes what she likes and that’s it.
HELP PLEASE !!
1 Like
All you can do is talk to her and suggest to her that would like to try different things and maybe suggest starting small with maybe sensual massage or something.
If she still says no, then I don’t think there’s anything you can do to change her mind.
Good luck!
Everyone enjoys different things and that just may be her way and there’s no shame in that.
It’s possible most likely though that she’s lacking confidence or body conscious. Maybe a conversation regarding these needs to be had.
I wouldnt force the issue or make surprise purchases etc.
Personally I don’t think you will get anywhere unless you get her to open up (no pun intended) about why shes not open to anything else. This may be a long process of just dipping in and out of the subject. She may just be embarrassed to talk openly. You may find she’s more open if you communicate via text so she doesn’t have to look you in the face. I’m certainly not saying this is the best way but you need to start somewhere.
Unfortunately though she may not budge and you need to prepare yourself for that and accept it.
2 Likes
Welcome @Cpe81
I think your wife needs to understand why you want these things. Let her know that you find her body beautiful, sexy and that seeing her naked excites you incredibly. If you want to introduce toys then is this to provide her with greater pleasure and if so let her know that her enjoyment is a huge turn on for you. As @Kh1985 has said maybe this is a confidence thing or maybe her upbringing. Definitely don’t just buy toys without discussing with her but maybe agree to try something and see how it goes. Erotic massage was a great suggestion and maybe add a wand. If she starts to enjoy that then maybe she’ll start to open up to trying other things.
I think it should be how “we” like it.
Both of you need to be in the mind set of how can I best satisfy the other and hopefully find common ground.
Maybe you and your wife needs a non judgemental conversation so you can be totally honest and lay any hangups bare…( excuse the pun ) . Say you don’t want to look back at some point and say, I wish we had. There is definitely a happy medium to be found that is satisfactory for both of you.
You need to be frank but understanding to her at the same time.
My wife and I, had this conversation years back and she was probably similar to your wife.
My wife didn’t turn in to a porn star ( didn’t want that), but became much more adventurous and embraced the pleasures that were to be had.
Communication imho is vital to a healthy and mind-blowing sex life. When we were having issues with expectations and mismatched libidos we used an app called Coral that really got us talking, and has continued to do so.
There’s that or Spicer, which is free and you answer questions about what you want and then compare. It can be really eye-opening.
1 Like
Maybe try spicing it up during sex to change up her vanilla cycle like throw in a new random move and see if she enjoys it.
@Cpe81 I would suggest talking to her and asking her as there maybe something stopping her to explore new things please remember that even if you try new things that you both may not like them, try not make it a pressurised situation as it may have the opposite effect natural all the way 
good luck hope you find a way forward for you both 