Hello. How do I get my wife to experiment. I think I’m much dirtier than her but it would be good to do some stuff. Any advice would be great
Hi @Damechop and welcome to the forum 
Communication - you need to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about what you’d like to try and go from there.
You can’t magically make her want the same things you do, but if she’s open to trying, maybe take it slow and in small steps.
Good luck!
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Good advise that. I’m too quick to jump into something I want to try. Should I just ask her what she is comfortable doing or tell what I want then she can judge what she’s willing to do
Not knowing you, your wife or the type of relationship you have makes it really difficult to be able to really answer that to be honest.
Only you know your wife and how best to raise this kind of discussion with her. Have you had sensitive conversations before? How did they go? Anything you can take from those?
For me personally, a soft approach and possibly negotiation would be most effective, but that’s just me - everyone is different and what works for me won’t work for everyone else.
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I agree, a softly softly approach could be best. Try spicing it up a little at a time!
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@doublefun & @MsSubExperimenter so I discussed it with her a while ago and is started with her saying she is too tired ti want sex on a regular basis.
So I responded with our sex has gone boring since we had a child and since we are 13 years into our relationship I think it’s more important to have a good sex life
On the back me saying that I told her what I would like to try out and she smiled and went all shy and cute but I honestly thought I got somewhere. That was October and still nothing.
Except we bout one of them remote vibratory. Her idea. So we could go to a shop and I mess around with the remote. We got that January and still have used it. I got really excited when she said shall we get one.
She used to be really kinky back in the early days
Try talking to her about it again, and maybe come up with some ideas would would both like to try. My OH is very vanilla and I’m not, he has started to experiment a little but it has taken a few conversations to get to this point.
It sounds like you had a pretty blunt conversation with your wife. She’s told you that she’s too tired for regular sex, so explore that.
What does she do in a day? Does she work? Does she look after the home? Does she do all the cooking & cleaning? Do you both have an even mix of house work? What can you do to lighten her load? that will make her more relaxed which in turn may result in her wanting to have some sex.
You don’t have to answer the questions on the forum, they’re more for you to answer for yourself. Thats your homework 
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No that’s fine. I cook she cleans but I think cleaning is harder than cooking. Thing is I’m shit at cleaning because I don’t like doing it haha so I rush and don’t do a proper job.
She has said I need to do more around the house so I try and do as much with our son to take her away whilst mum can chill or do whatever she wants. I’m not sure that’s a “good thing” though
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Well there you go, she’s told you what she needs.
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Try pleasing her without wanting anything yourself. You can always bang one out later. Make it clear that you dont want her to touch you and that you just want her to lay down, relax and have an orgasm. Make it slow and sensual. Tease her till she cant take it anymore. Go down on her and slowly bring her to orgasm… Then lay and cuddle her after… Naturally youll want to explode but you feel like that all the time anyway… Just make it all about her… Break the ritual of sex… Maybe
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You have the luxury of hating cleaning because you have a mummy to clean up after you. Houses need to be cleaned. What if your wife hates to clean too but because you don’t do it properly she has to do it. Is it any wonder she’s tired?
In this scenario, I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone that I get frustrated with because I have to clean up after them and they use weaponised incompetence to get out of it.
Every action has a reaction. Think about that.
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I dont think its about cleaning at all… Tired from housework is the excuse not to have sex. Thats like not tonight im washing my hair… If your horny then nothing will stop you wanting to have sex unless you view it as yet another chore.
you do need to help out more though… thats just lazy
You are asking her to be open to new things, and to learn, experiment, and change. Whether related to sex or not, you could demonstrate such a mindset yourself, by, for example, learning how to cook, taking pride in your environment, and trying to fulfil your responsibilities, and carry out tasks to an unimpeachable standard. If you do this, you may find that she responds in kind.
She is possibly tired because looking after the house by cooking / cleaning is only half of it. Who looks after the child during the day? Who does the washing and ironing? Shopping? Gardening if required? So much more to do, give the lady a break and take sex totally out of the equation first and then reintroduce on her terms, you may be surprised what she wants if everything else is 50/50.
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Try to be open and honest asking her what if anything she would like to do differently she may surprise you 
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Hellooooooo,
Try talking to her, ask for her deepest fantasy’s… Whatever you’d like to try, bring it up in the conversation
I may sound a little old school here ……. But foreplay doesn’t start in the bedroom!
Be more attentive throughout the day, without being creepy! Tell her she looks nice, give her a little squeeze, hold hands on a walk, the odd peck on the cheek here and there, cook her dinner, hang the washing out, make the bed with fresh linen! I could go on but I’m sure you get the idea 
Basically make her life easier and more relaxed but not just when you want your silky wet .
It may be more about you than you think if your attitude and look on life changes she may have more time to herself and be more relaxed, then in turn have time to think about the things you are 
I don’t mean to sound like it’s all on you this is just my opinion so if offends is taken it’s not intended.
Good luck
And at the risk of sounding like a broken record once she’s a little more at ease try the spicer app! And talk about things out of the bedroom first when your agenda isn’t as obvious
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I don’t think its about the cleaning either. I think its more that its hard to have sexual desire for someone that expects you to clean up after them and then tells you that the sex is boring. I’ve had this experience, I tell ya, it didn’t make my bits quiver!
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