My partner and I have been going through a bit of a funk. I have two boys from a previous marriage (15/12) and we share a 2yo girl. Home schooling and working from home (almost always in the same home office), a couple of health issues, a bad 2yo sleeper, other personal issues and COVID lockdowns in VIC/Australia have meant our once very active sex life had taken a downward turn.
On one of the few occasions where OH is working but not from home and after a sleepless night, I came upon an idea to rekindle the spark. I sent her a message on a messaging app that neither of us use with an old sexy nickname she’s given me asking to start some dirty chat and pic sharing. She’s somewhat vanilla but to my surprise she’s been super keen and playing along. We’ve both worked ourselves into a bit of a state today, and can’t wait for the kids to go to bed so we can go at it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is… life is hard right now for a lot of us, and all it takes sometimes is a moment of inspiration and trying something different to break the funk. I hope if you’re finding yourself in a funk, you can also find your moment of inspiration
Life sometimes catches us up and forget about some of the important things like our partners and Us time. It’s important to freeze time and have that close contact
Yeah I agree life does get in the way! It’s great that you have found a new way to connect.
For us the last 6 years have been tough, since my youngest was born prematurely and has ongoing complex health issues. Then add in covid We are still staying at home, despite restrictions lifting in the UK. We are all at home 24/7! Working and home schooling!
Since July however, my libido picked up and I’ve started instigating sex more with my husband and we aim for twice per week. This has brought us closer again, which has been great. Joining this forum has also helped as I’m able to discuss sex openly and it gives me confidence to explore things with my husband. I’ve definitely had my eyes opened too and I’m discovering new turn-ons
Well done @Mazza very creative.
For us I think my focus on satisfying him really helps (he naturally focuses on my pleasure), I fully accept by nature I am a bit greedy and desire sex for my own wicked needs
In the past we have had periods where sex was problematic as life got in the way. We also had problems with me resenting the fact that I was almost always the instigator for sex and would occasionally ‘wait it out’ to see how long it would take her to make a move, getting crosser and crosser as the days passed by. In turn my obvious anger would deter her from seeking sex.
Nowadays we have a system. Whenever we have a grandchild free day we have sex. No questions asked and no wondering whether either of us is up for it. If we have free time we have sex. End of story. The type of sex we have and who does what to who is still open for discussion but sex always happens.
As a result we are both totally relaxed about sex and we are having much more and much more varied sex. Normally 3 or 4 times per week. For a 46 year married couple in their late 60’s the system has proved to be a life changer.
Its not necessarily for everyone but iv heard plenty of stories like this and ones close to divorce ot one of the pair was close to cheating, what saved it all was becoming a member of there local ‘Swingers club’, it totally spiced things up and re woke a bit of harmless jealously!
If you do decide to give it a go (i recommend you do, I go as a single female and love it) you 100% need to sit down and make your rules and boundaries, for example some couples rule is no sex, only foreplay or only 3 some’s with another female, no gang bangs etc.
Its completely confidential, what happens within walls stays in those walls, you will be surprised who regularly goes to the parties!
Seriously have a good think about it, its not like the stigma says it is, its amazing!
Like many of us, we have been in that rut before, but communication is key, once we sat and talked about our problems and our sex life, things got a lot better, very quickly, and a year and a half on from that, things are still going great, life is much busier for us than it was a couple of year ago but we’ve still made sure we have time for each other, every other Friday (which happens to be today!) we have wine Friday where we just both chill out, sink a few wines, and then go to bed and have great sex
We are still staying at home, despite restrictions lifting in the UK. We are all at home 24/7! Working and home schooling!
and I’m discovering new turn-ons 
