We like roleplay, but it usually starts during a session and is it more verbal than visual/physical.
I would love my OH to dress so we can fully roleplay, can anyone advise me on how to bring it into our life. She has previously worn things like my football shirt and a white nurses tunic for a little fun.
We both are not keen on the dress up type outfits, but I would love to see her in a uniform or dressed as a secretary....then we can hits the hights from there.
Any suggestions
Shy guy
I am slightly unsure what you mean when you ask "Any advise to bring it into our life" but then say you are already doing it? Do you mean that there is something more specific and you are a little shy in asking her if she would do this for you, or are you asking where you can get the outfits and things from?
If its the first, I would suggest maybe a text or email if you feel a bit shy in coming straight out with it. She seems open minded and into it as you suggest she has already dressed up in certain ways and that she takes part the speaking roleplay.
As for dressing up. I agree with you. A lot of the standard "dressing up outfits" are just not for me either. (And not many are super kinky really) If you have an idea or a look in your head like secetary, why not shop around in the standard clothing shops, even tesco and asda direct have a lot of cheap things. (To pick up shirts, tights or stockings, skirts etc) mixed in with a little bit of ebay (you can get so many weird and wonderful things there!) and if it is more fetish like leather/rubber masks etc I think you will have to go to a more specific shop online for those items
I apologise if i have completely misunderstood your question entirely here but hope it helps and didnt want to see your post zoom by without a comment x
Fluffbags,
Sorry I might have not been clear....when I say previously she would dress up it was about 10 years ago. She will dress in lingerie, but only on rare occasions.
I'd love to see her in a nurses uniform again or in a skirt suit as a secretary. We attend quite a few functions where she has to wear long or knee length dresses, but the come off to quickly sometimes. We still have great sex, after a function, but I wish she'd stayed dressed once in a while!
I'm just not 100% sure of how to broach the subject. I had previously suggested that writing a few role play sessions down, and she could, when she felt like it choose one. She wasn't too sure about that, but that was just after our "awakening".....we used anal beads for the first time this weekend, something I would say shed never do about 6 months ago. So there is hope!
Ahhhh ok it makes sense now hehe sorry!
Ok this is a difficult one to give advice because everyone is so individual, what may work for one may be a huge turn off for another. (I am thinking, for example, that some people just love to hear new ideas, the dirtier the better, the more discriptive the better. While others get embarrassed or turned off if approached in certain ways)
So I guess in this situation you know better than any of us about the best way to approach this situation with her. However I guess we can give you ideas or different approaches and you can work out which would work best.
If this was me, I would probably start by slowly building up some compliments, romance, special treats and building up her confidence a little sexually. I am not saying she isnt confident, or that you dont make the effort. But you know, when you are with someone for a long time, we begin to stop making that extra special effort to make our lover feel REALLY sexy about themselves. As women, when we feel really sexy and confident and appreciated, we are much more likely to want to give back. The whole "give and take" thing. Almost a bit like reverse psychology here. You want something special from her, make the effort for her first and her mindset will be much more open to try new things. That would be my first tip.
Second tip I would give is to make sure, when you bring this up with her, to talk about this like it is HER you are going crazy for, and the fantasy is just an "extra" This is probably true anyway of course, but women are sensitive and if you word it in such a way that you make it personal to her, you know like:
"I was thinking the other day about that time YOU were wearing my shirt, mmm YOU looked so amazing,
I loved the way YOUR......
I would love to see YOUR sexy body in....."
You get the idea? Rather than "remember when you USED to do...." (which can sound like an accusation, like, why are you not doing that now, you make no effort anymore, i dont fancy you as much now because of this. (Yes women read too much into things lol)
Or saying "I really have this fantasy about a woman dressing up as...." (again this approach had the tendancy, with an over thinking or insecure or unsure woman (unsure to try new things I mean) to maybe make her feel that it isnt her you are fantasising about, rather, just using her as your doll for your particular fantasy. This might put her off. (Ahhh the male-female communication differences abound :D)
So this would be my advise. if you are sure that bringing it up right now would turn her off. if you have already brought it up and it has negative results then this is it: Do some groundwork first. Make an effort to get into her mind, maybe find out if there is anything you can do to please her more or to play some games she might be interested in. Try being a bit more "like you used to be" at the beginning, and make that extra special effort for her. (Hopefully this should, in return, make her want to do more for you) Of course dont go too overboard with it and then come out with your fantasy or she may just suspect you only made the effort to get what you want. It has to be genuine ofc.
Compliment her skills/techniques, the way she turns you on (for example a text or email or if brave enough just say "wow what you did last night was amazing" etc then gradually start hinting, in the way I mentioned above, and in a light hearted, jokey, no pressure kind of way (example: "oooh last night when you did XYZ you had me imagining you as my naughty secretary wink wink big grin") You may find that the ego boost you are giving her this way will inspire her to go out and get the outfit herself! (She will hopefully be thinking "wow, I really turned him on! and he was imagining that, well I am gunna show HIM how naughty i can really be")
To sum up my best advice: If you want to receive: give.....give give give! :D
Of course all the above is just my opinion. I am sure that some women would say that all of the above is rubbish and wouldnt work for them (which is what I mean by you knowing her best, and us all being different) Maybe she actually really really detests the idea of doing XYZ and if thats the case you will only push her away further by pressuring her on the subject. I am sure you can appreciate that if the roles were reversed. In that case I would advise leaving it alone and just keeping it as a fantasy.
Good luck! Hope you get your sexy secretary fantasy x
LOL - Thanks for the advice!
I give, and give, and give...but may be not in the way suggested.
My OH was in the RAF and I never managed to catch her in uniform! Even though I watched her dress in stockings every day she went to work.
Youve hit the nail on the head with confidence, not only sexually she is very quick to put herself down. Always has, its just her!
I will work on her confidence, like I say she is happy to role play, verbally and one we have done is Doctor and Secretary.....so really its an extension of what we have done previously.
Shy guy