Hi Guys
Just started a relationship with a guy that has diabetes(injects insulin)and is having problems maintaining an erection......
Very frustrating for him and although we can do other things which are just as good as penetrative sex i know he's taking it really badly and feels he is not a good lover.....
I just wondered if anybody had any tips/advice that I can use to help him sustain his erection.
Thanks.
I can't always have penetrative sex due to personal problems and I used to feel very unfeminine so I bet your bloke is feeling a bit immasculated, we learnt to make oral and other sex acts the "main event" rather than "foreplay" and my bloke made me feel good by REALLY enjoying the head I give him so try making a big point of saying how good he is at oral. Tell him that sex isn't all that anyway (obviously word it well so it doesn't sound like you're only saying it to make him feel better), it's clit stim that us girls are after and whilst sex can be mind blowing, you're happy to wait for it. Try soft blowjobs too, make them the "main event" but be prepared to pounce if he does get hard, that way it'll be a little unexpected bonus! A guy worrying can be as big an erection stopper as medication can so just try and work on his mentality, you never know, the erections may be a little more regular once he's stopped worrying.
If it's becoming a really big issue for him get him to go and speak to his doctor about options!
Ax
Hiya sorry to hear that, he needs to go to his diabetic nurse, she will be able to help. He might not want to discuss it with her but it's a common problem for diabetics and she will have heard it all before. Have a look on the diabetes.uk website they have fourums and i'm sure it will have been discussed on there. xxxx
Thanks for your replies....AdnaW mentioned a "soft blow" job....can you explain what that is to me please......
Passionate Pussy wrote:
Thanks for your replies....AdnaW mentioned a "soft blow" job....can you explain what that is to me please......
Just suck him when he is soft - apparently it feels amazing :) my fella gets mad when he gets hard sometimes hehe!
Ax
im guessing it means giving a blow job whilst the man isn't erect, hence the name "soft" blow job....?
it's quite nice having a soft blow job and sometimes for me feels alot better but you could try that and seeing him get hard or try and tease him all day and then bed time see if it works
Ditto checking the website mentioned above. It's estimated about a third of diabetic men encounter sexual dysfunciton. It can also cause problems for women with diabetes. Diabetes.co.uk says Viagra, Cialis and Levitra have earnt some good reports from diabetic men.
It's common for someone with diabetes to take medication to lower blood pressure. Some of these, such as diuretics and beta blockers can cause erectile dysfunction. It's the same with antidepressants. This is why it's always a good idea to raise this issue with your doctor when discussing medication to find one without this effect.
To not exasperate the problem cut out stress, alcohol and cigarettes.
The best thing is that he's lucky he's got an understanding lover so early in a relationship who's willing to work it out, so props to you.
Thank you all for your support and advice....just need to make him realise that I'm in for the "long haul"....and want to pleasure him and make him happy.He is not as sexually confident as I am so I guess I need to boost his self confidence and introduce him to other ways that will make him feel a$1m and satisfied . A good sexual partnership/relationship is a 2 way thing and he makes me feel fulfilled not just by having a full hard erection.
Has anyone suggested cockrings? Might take some care to approach the subject but a think the fear of losing an erection is probably a big barrier. It could help him relax. Not sure how diabetes affects things.
I won't really say much more as there has been some excellent advice! I would also recommend jusgt a general forum search, there is probably loads of tips on other threads that might be useful!
Happy sexing!
Great suggestion WanA. If cock rings are a little scary or something you need to build up to, why not give French Letter Linger Lust Condoms a go. SexyGet recommended them to me recently and they look fabulous to boot.