Sex and foreplay

Can anyone recommend any tips for fingering?

My boyfriend does not like the feeling of his fingers being inside me however will still do it but just says after that he doesn’t like it. I don’t think he sees the fact or even thought that it pleasures me, what can I say to help him see this?

Also sometimes I find that sex hurts in doggy as his penis is going in at the wrong angle…(I’m 5’1 and he’s 5’9) any recommendations as to go about this?

In regards to fingering, if he really doesn’t like it then there is nothing you can really do. Just because it feels good to you doesn’t mean he has to do it. Could you not compromise by asking him to use a toy inside you instead?

In terms of doggy, have you tried altering the angle? So either lower your top half more towards the bed (or whatever you are having sex on) so you sort of raising your vaginal opening or alternatively raise your top half up (so leaning against the headboard/wall) which will drop your vaginal opening down. Otherwise, you could try laying flat on your front and/or experiment with putting pillows under your hips.

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I’m afraid if fingering is something he doesn’t enjoy then you have to respect that. Have you considered something else instead? Mrs Chimp is a fan of the firmness of a glass dildo (particularly the LH Beaded Glass Dildo) :+1:

Seriously, hun. Life’s too short!

Just my 2p worth… :wink:

Unfortunately if a partner doesn’t like something you have to respect that. Maybe suggest he use a toy on you instead?

As for doggy, try guiding him slowly so he can position himself properly.

@Leah687 if he doesn’t like fingering you would you be happy to leave that as something just for you to enjoy during masturbation?

If a specific act is really important to you he needs to know how you feel so find a time to talk about it seriously and calmly outside the bedroom. You could try to discuss specifically what it is that he doesn’t like and see if you can find a way to change that for him. Maybe latex/nitrile gloves or finger sleeves could be worth a go if that would still feel pleasurable for you.

Maybe you can find something that he would really like from you and work out a compromise?

With your pain during doggy I think the width of your knees can be a factor, too far apart and your hips will be low and your chap will be pushing into the front wall of your vagina, too close together and your hips will be lifted so he might be more pressure onto your back wall.
Your guy can try this too and spread his knees to drop his position to suit you, maybe with his knees outside yours if he is taller.
Like @Calie says controlling the depth of penetration is probably the best way to avoid pain but playing around with angles and how much you both bend your knees might help you get comfy.

Good luck!

Perhaps guide him toward yoni massage techniques? A lot of it is external technique and he could supplement the internal parts for some toys?

I think it comes down just to personal preference, I personally don’t like the feel of my own fingers inside me but enjoy when my partner does it. Have you tried the finger stimulators that love honey sell? It’s their basic range a pack of two for £6.99. If it’s just the feel he doesn’t like this may be an option to suit you both! :blush:

They’re also in the 3 for £15 deal too. :+1:

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Hi @Leah687!
In regards to fingering, I guess it would be important to understand exactly what it is about it he doesn’t like - if it’s the wetness for example then having some form of “cover” may help, whether that’s finger covers/stimulators or even just a condom. However as others have said, if he really doesn’t like doing it then it’s important to respect that. Having an open and honest conversation (away from the bedroom and not immediately after sex) will help you have a better understanding and whether there are any compromises you can make.

In regards to doggy, it shouldn’t be painful as such but can feel uncomfortable if not in the right angle as you say. It may be worth taking control of the movement, so get him to stay still whilst you go back and forth, as this will allow you to explore different angles and work out if it’s just as it goes deeper that it’s uncomfortable. If this is the case, then something like a doughnut should help as it acts a bit like a buffer so he won’t feel he’s having to “hold back”. I would also recommend using cushions/pillows to help support the angle - if this works then there are wedges you can buy, such as the liberator. I think the “best” angle is 27° which is what most wedges give. Would also definitely recommend using lube - this will make it all a lot smoother :blush:

Let us know how you get on!