Sex Drive

Hi guys

Ive got a very high sex drive i love sex and everything and anything about it ive been with my partner nearly 3 years and hes just the oppist, wich i think is kinda weired for a guy :/ but not everyones the same
everything was fine when we first met
I miss the passion and the fun :(
Ive brought a few items wich have helped like cock rings handcuff bondage tape vibrators ect and ive brought it up loads of times how i feel and his classic reply is if its not good enough find someone eles who will give you what you want

But at the end of the day i love him and i dont want sex to ruin us but its one of my passions and i cant help how i feel i would love to hear if anyone eles has the same problem or had the same problem any advice would be much appreciated


Hi xKayteex, Do you think that he may be intimidated by your enthusiasm? From what you have said you seem to be very confident sexually and this may be making him feel a bit inadequate. Maybe you could ease off a little and try some subtle approaches like a relaxing sexy massage or having lots of kissing and cuddling that does not have to lead anywhere. Take it slow and see where it leads... :)

I'm the same. I have a high sex drive but missus doesn't have the same drive. I have tried the usual things - toys, undies ECT ECT. But no luck. But the main thing I love her to bits.

How about you slow it down and forget the toys and bondage for now and just start parading around the house in sexy undies when he least expects it.
When my partner is watching tv I will disappear upstairs and buy on something then sneak back into the kitchen to finish cooking or get the Hoover out and start cleaning. By time he takes his eyes of the tv and notices the undies he gets horny as hell. I then tease him and tell him he's not allowed me till the end of the tv show, or until after dinner etc.
he normally is begging for it before i finally let him have it.
It might be worth a go at trying to get him more interested. And also gets him used to you being in control so you can then take control at more adventurous stuff in the bedroom

Hi Kaytee,

I have some thoughts on this. I am a chap, and have been with my OH for over 10 years, during that time we have definitely experienced differences in sex drive. It can definitely cause friction in a relationship, and as with all things in a relationship, calm and open communication is key.

Looking back at my own sex drive over the past few years, it is definitely linked to how I feel, who I socialise with and how often I think about sex.

So, consider, is he happy, has he undergone stress at work, or somewhere else in personal life, he might need to work through those issues. Is there an insecurity he has that's preventing him from wanting sex?

Also consider, does he have many friends, does he get a chance to be a bloke? (this is one of the things that really affected by own sex drive when I was the only fella in my workplace, surrounded by older women)

How can you get him thinking more about sex? I think when you're in a relationship the more you think about sex the more sex you want.

Perhaps, is he comfortable with these things you've brought into the bedroom, some chaps don't like toys etc.

Even if he doesn't want sex, would he be willing to kiss/cuddle/whatever whilst you pleasure yourself, might that work as a stop-gap until he wants more nookie? I know for some blokes, the instant a girl starts touching herself they just want in (me included!)

I hope there's something in that lot that can be of use to you, and I hope you can find a way to get that fun back


Hi scopious 12

i do agree with this but hes not really even a kiss and cuddle sorta effecionate person if u no what i mean not really even into 4 play well he loves recieving anything its all or nothing with him really but ive tried alot of things being random ect but ive tried backing off but if i didnt make a move he would quite happly do nothing at all :(

Thanx for replys :))


Thankyou for all your replys

Bakerson- everything you said makes soo much sence. I do think that the stuff i have brought has made him feel intimdated but some of the stuff i did buy was as he hinted about things (being tied up ect) he does love a cock ring but i do think he gets contious of his size downstairs but i do tell him alot that its perfect!


It's possible you do just have very different sex drives. Have you tried asking him to compromise by doing things like hands and oral when he doesn't feel like sex?

I've not had one guy be able to keep up with my sex drive at all; Either my sex drive is just ridic or I keep ending up with guys who don't have one! lols. I find that communication is the key, at first I was embarressed to talk to my partners about how much it effected me when I wasn't getting sex or any kind of intimicay, because they didn't have the drive and when I don't get it; it seriously affects my mood. And because I held it all in I don't think they realised the battle I had with myself over it and the confidence issues that arrose from it.

I'm now with a partner and even though his sex drive isn't really high, he understands the way I am and has known quite early on and when he's here we have a frequent sex life as it can be quite easy to get him in the mood when I want too, and if he's not in the mood and he's gaming or something I'll just lay behind him and touch myself (Never see a mouse get thrown so quick) he soon joins in.

I know my partner isn't as sexually drived as I am, but we've both spoke about it. He knows that I feel this need to have a release sexually and as such if he's not in the mood then I'll use toys. That way we're both happy.

FrozenAngel i know exactly how you feel

Its the f'ing playstation lol

Even times when we have time apart ive craved him soo bad and we exchange dirty texts
Hes very orginal and plain its like never reallly wants spontaneious (sorry about spelling) random sex in places its always in bed at night
But im usually up for it as its all go when hes horney as im lucky for the oppitunity lol

Men should NEVER choose the playstation over their woman! Lol
I'm the same as Miss Angel, never found anybody to match my sex drive! My OH did for a few years but hers has lessoned with time.
I just have a very busy hand! Hahaha :)

Kaytee I hve the same probs as u, oh sex drive so much lower than mine. Although we did talk recently an he has agreed to watch sme porn. I think with my oh he just led a vry sheltered life and had few partners, he has no fantasies and the likes of toys are a no no, although im tryin to get him to use my vib on me.he thinks that noone else does the kind of things that we all talk about on here and its tryin to convince him that what we do in r sex life is r own business.