I want to ask everybody's advice (obviously not from a medical point of view);
I recently had a laparoscopy investigation which they found and treated some endometriosis via diathermy. However my consultant forgot to mention to me when it would be safe/advisable to be able to 'be active' again? I have read various things relating to this online, all of which have not helped as there are mixed opinions, and I haven't had chance to chat with my gp until next week.
I had dissolvable stitches of which had to be removed as not all were dissolved properly. Hospital and doctor said 7-10 days and they should be all gone but it's now been 21! So, I had to have a nurse remove them just today. So bearing in mind this, although I feel as though things have healed over now (the operation was successful and no complications and everything has knitted together and seems to have healed really well and have no apparent pain except when the site is touched as is still somewhat tender), I still feel there's a part of me that is struggling with the idea of resuming a normal sex life again, be it for fear of pain or causing problems if things are not all they seem to be since my surgery, or due to the fact that in some way I feel a little cold maybe and slightly violated due to the nature of the surgery, possibly even for both reasons? (Don't know if this is normal?)
I am scared incase I aggravate things again or cause myself pain or further injury and have somehow lost confidence and it just doesn't 'feel right' just yet? I am sure my OH feels frustrated and is a little upset, but he remains supportive and understanding as ever.
ronnie-baby
xx
Hello,
I think I was suspended from more demanding activities for a month. After that I could return to normal activities. But you should ask these questions your doctor! Because everyone is different and healing at different rate, even without complications. I had also dissolvable stitches, but I had to go for a check 14 days after the surgery and then again after a month, to ensure everything is going just fine. Especially if you are scared you will hurt yourself again, go and see a doctor and ask them this question when it will be fine from medical point. I think that would be the best, as I am not sure anyone here can tell you when you are fine to go back to normal life and all activities.
As for potential psychological consequences. Its surgery and it does leave marks on both your body and mind. Last year after I had breast surgery done because of lump I could not look into the mirror for 2 months! and took me almost 4 to really accept it and the scar. My advice is to go slowly and do only what you are comfortable with. And take your time.
Good luck.
Hi Laveila, it is the 'psychological consequences' that I am more concerned about, I didn't experience anything traumatic or frightening during my surgery or stay in hospital, but somehow I feel strange in my attitude towards sex now, I can't describe it, only as being 'just not ready'.
I am going to speak to my gp next week, I wasn't asking for advice as such, just friendly opinions, perhaps based on personal experiences as a means of comfort to myself right now?
It does seem though that surgery has affected me more psychologically than physically right now as far as I can see....?
xx
Well. Its normal to be traumatized. I did felt violeted in September too in a sence after I had breast surgery and the fact I had to be in firm bra for 3 weeks did not help me much either or that the scar look terrible (now its barely visible). if you are not ready psychologically, you just need to take time and relax. And maybe just start with massages and slowly include more and more as you get more comfortable with the idea. You dont have to go for sex right now. Which can be expected after a surgery.
The only thing I can say from personal experience is guys dont care about scars, its more us who does. And that it takes time after surgery to be completely fine. I had 2 surgeries already in my life and it always took few months to be completely normal psychologically. As time goes by you sort of start to forget about the fact you had one if the endo does not return.
Thanks Laveila, I really hope it does not return. I'm very lucky to have such a supportive and understanding OH. (I never thought men could possess such qualities but it just goes to show you can be wrong!)
xx