Shut-off notice

Last month my husband and I lost our 7 week old baby boy due to a heart condition.

Imagine our surprise when I got a positive pregnancy test on the 14th!

Now, husband has issued a 'cut-off'. He doesn't want to have sex and risk hurting the baby. 9+ months without sex, insane. He's not much of a giver in bed, but I'm sure he will want to recieve something.

Any ideas on how to survive this?

For him lots of oral, particularly if you tease him, he has got to want to have sex with you when you have teased him.

For you, lots of clit stimulation and masterbating in front of him, it's going to get him going watching you.

Keep talking to one another, make sure he knows you can't do 9 months without sex.

Im very sorry you lost your baby to a heart condition, does he reolise having sex while pregnant did not cause this heart defect and that there is absolutely no reason to not have sex while pregnant? All I would say is try to take things a little more slow and sexy. Don't get throwing each other around the room in wild passionate sex.

Im sure after a couple of weeks he will review his decision. Good luck with your pregnancy.

p.s. There is a pregnancy threat about somewhere, so you might find answers there too.

Firstly, I would like to say how sorry I was to read your post about your beautiful baby boy you lost, that's heart breaking x Thrilled you're carrying again, congrats.

Well I can believe it or not your hubsta's decision! He must be petrified that you're going to lose this one through more sex. I think some reading material for him might put his mind to rest, and that he can't hurt bubs. I think seeing it from his angel right now might help things. At the end of the day, you have toys to keep you amused. He has a strong arm to relieve himself or your hands too!

His goal is to have a healthy baby that survives longer than a few too short weeks. I know that won't help your cause though! I hope everything turns out perfectly for you guys.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy, what an awful thing to go through :(

I don't have a lot of advice really, I just wanted to say that we're in a similar position. I found out that I'm pregnant again (following a miscarriage) at the beginning of September, and we haven't had any form of sex since. We both decided to wait until after 12 weeks, which will be next Saturday, but when I spoke to my partner about resuming our sex life he was adamant that he doesn't want to have sex at all until after the baby is born. So that's another 6 months!

I haven't even let myself orgasm since finding out about the pregnancy (except for in my sleep, and it's actually felt painful). At this point I'm not sure if I'm going to let myself climax after the first trimester or not, because of the cramping that accompanies my sleep orgasms (although apparently it's completely normal to hurt during pregnancy), but I would like for us to resume oral sex etc.

My partner hasn't asked or expected me to 'relieve him' at all either, because he knows that my sex drive has plummeted and I've been struggling with sickness. We have maintained the intimacy by giving each other massages, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, and so on. I do miss being intimate with him in that way, but honestly all I really care about is having a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby this time, so it's a small price to pay.

I know that sex doesn't cause miscarriages and wouldn't have contributed at all to the passing of your little boy, but it's natural to be scared of it regardless. I think for men they feel a huge responsibility because they're actually penetrating you, and my partner feels like that's too invasive while I'm pregnant. Honestly it does get easier as time goes on, this is the longest we've ever been without sex but we're not focusing on it too much now and the wait doesn't seem as daunting as it did at first.

I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy, congratulations! :D

Oh geez, I'm so very sorry you're going through it too Boogaloo. I miscarried myself, and had an ectopic pregnancy too before having my boy many years ago. It's heartbreaking!

I wish you both well xx

so so sorry to hear about the death of you son i cant imagine your going through. but congrats on the new baby . all i can say is we all have irrational fears .so be nice to him try and see if you can compromise but try going slow i have a fear of hights and if some one try to push me it makes it worse hope it all goes well love and hug to you and him got my fingers crossed for you