I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy, what an awful thing to go through :(
I don't have a lot of advice really, I just wanted to say that we're in a similar position. I found out that I'm pregnant again (following a miscarriage) at the beginning of September, and we haven't had any form of sex since. We both decided to wait until after 12 weeks, which will be next Saturday, but when I spoke to my partner about resuming our sex life he was adamant that he doesn't want to have sex at all until after the baby is born. So that's another 6 months!
I haven't even let myself orgasm since finding out about the pregnancy (except for in my sleep, and it's actually felt painful). At this point I'm not sure if I'm going to let myself climax after the first trimester or not, because of the cramping that accompanies my sleep orgasms (although apparently it's completely normal to hurt during pregnancy), but I would like for us to resume oral sex etc.
My partner hasn't asked or expected me to 'relieve him' at all either, because he knows that my sex drive has plummeted and I've been struggling with sickness. We have maintained the intimacy by giving each other massages, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, and so on. I do miss being intimate with him in that way, but honestly all I really care about is having a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby this time, so it's a small price to pay.
I know that sex doesn't cause miscarriages and wouldn't have contributed at all to the passing of your little boy, but it's natural to be scared of it regardless. I think for men they feel a huge responsibility because they're actually penetrating you, and my partner feels like that's too invasive while I'm pregnant. Honestly it does get easier as time goes on, this is the longest we've ever been without sex but we're not focusing on it too much now and the wait doesn't seem as daunting as it did at first.
I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy, congratulations! :D