Anyone else had some female fun on the sly? I'm engaged to my childhood sweetheart but occasionally have some fun with my best mate. Am I a bad person??
If he knows about it and approves - Then go ahead and continue :)
If he doesn't know I think it's cheating and that you should tell him. It's no different than being with a man.
If he knows about it then great, if he doesn't then please find a way to approach him about the subject, maybe he'd be okay with it but if you care about him then at least respect him and your relationship and take into consideration his feelings.
So I've asked him how he would feel about me sleeping with another woman whilst we were lying on the sofa having a bit of fun, he actually said that he would be ok with it!!
Welsh-dildo-addict wrote:
So I've asked him how he would feel about me sleeping with another woman whilst we were lying on the sofa having a bit of fun, he actually said that he would be ok with it!!
Maybe this is a good time to tell him the truth. Because atm he doesn't know you're sleeping with your best friend.
Honesty is always best :)
Definitely tell him. Hypothetical questions isn't the same as actually having done the deed. He may be ok with it in theory but in practice he may not be so keen.
You said you were engaged, if you are organising a wedding its best to be open and honest. You don't want to enter a marriage with secrets. If he is fine with it and you have an open relationship by all means carry on but it may go both ways and he would like to sleep others. Is that something you think you could handle? Personally I couldn't.
So, he knows that I've fucked Ka**e when he's been in football and a few times when he's been on the night shift, his attitude is that he really doesn't care what I do with her as long as I tell him EVERYTHING when he asks, which I think is totally fair! My lady friend is in a relationship with a guy too so it's literally just sex between us after a few drinks and nothing more. It's never planned, and may not happen for months at a time then I may fuck her 3 times over a weekend. It's totally, JUST sex. And I love it!!
Glad you're having fun and being open and honest honest with your fiancée, sounds like you've got a pretty sweet set up :)
Just make sure you keep communicating honestly with both your fiancée and your fwb and be mindful of their feelings so it doesn't implode. You might want to read up on open relationships or polyamoury (the ethical slut is a good book) and discuss how having more than one relationship, be it only a sexual one, will fit into your married life. A lot of people like to set boundaries that help them feel more secure, it could be the case your fiancée would like to do this. Also think about how you would feel if your fiancée decided he would also like a second sexual partner, this might be something he would assume you are okay with so it's worth discussing.
Keep communication open, and have fun
The other thing to take into account is that Ka**e is also in a relationship. Does her partner know and if not how would he react if and when found out?
Jezebella wrote:
Glad you're having fun and being open and honest honest with your fiancée, sounds like you've got a pretty sweet set up :)
Just make sure you keep communicating honestly with both your fiancée and your fwb and be mindful of their feelings so it doesn't implode. You might want to read up on open relationships or polyamoury (the ethical slut is a good book) and discuss how having more than one relationship, be it only a sexual one, will fit into your married life. A lot of people like to set boundaries that help them feel more secure, it could be the case your fiancée would like to do this. Also think about how you would feel if your fiancée decided he would also like a second sexual partner, this might be something he would assume you are okay with so it's worth discussing.
Keep communication open, and have fun
+1 to this! Talk about this! How would you feel if he started seeing another sexual partner?
lmh95 wrote:
+1 to this. Welcome to the forums. Glad to hear you have told your fiance about your friend and he is okay with it but as others have said would you be okay with him seeing other people too?luvved up cupple wrote:
The other thing to take into account is that Ka**e is also in a relationship. Does her partner know and if not how would he react if and when found out?
This x
Have you thought about threesome?
Maybe think how you would feel if he told you he was fucking on of his football mates. If your OK with it then know your not a bad person.
he might say he likes the idea and "doesnt care" but now he knows that you act on feelings with out thinking about how he feels before you actually did it, whats to stop him doing the same if he meets a girl whos up for it without your knowledge. i would feel left out of the situation and maybe feel like i have a couple golden passes when ever i wanted. from a Males prospective
Your best policy is to keep open and honest .
My own story here may have a bearing on why you should keep it open and why he may just decide to shut the door some time in the future.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, I was dating a very attractive girl . She was a 9 in my rating system and she was the one who chased after me for when I became available .
All went well at first . We went out regularly had sex regularly and everything seem to be going swimmingly well .
Then one night my Gf decided to drag me along to a notorious gay bar in our town .I questioned her rationale for visiting this pub as I wasn't as niave as she had thought I was. Anyway after some questions , many unanswered by my gf I reluctantly followed her. I bought a couple of drinks and sat at a table with my gf and after about 30 minutes she beckoned this other person over. This person I can best describe as a Tomboy looking girl and looked quite butch to me. My GF introduced me to her as a "friend" but as the night went on it was clear in their body language to each other that it was more than friends. and after a visit to the gents I came back and caught them snogging each other . It was at that point I decided to leave as I hadn't the experience on how to compete in a situation like this . The Gay scene then was a lot more underground then , than it is today and I hadn't supspected my GF being of a Bisexual nature,.She wasn't known of having these attributes previously either .So she may well have had some latent feelings to other women . It could be, she had her head turned by this other person and obviously had feelings for each other which didn't as far as I was concerned included me in that equation and it was me being felt I had been cheated on.
And that was the last time I saw anything of her and got no telephone calls from her in trying to explain things.