As I've mentioned in an earlier post, my boyfriend and I are new to kink, we've has spoken at length about trying new things, one of them is spanking but neither of us know how to spank. I've googled articles and looked at the love honey guide about spanking. But I'm still unsure of what type of spanking device I should buy first, I am also worried about floggers wrapping around my body because I am rather petite. Also what possition is good for spanking other than across my partners lap
I think the best advice I can give is have fun finding out. Personally I like to be bound blindfolded and gagged - I.e. With as little say in the matter as possible. I also like to be made to be kneeling with Mistress standing over me. But you really should just try everything you can think of and find out what works for you.
There's no limit to what you can be hit with. The crop is my Mistress' favourite. I like the hairbrush or her hand. Best of all is lots of things so you never know what you're going to be hit with (hence blindfold). We have many flogger a crop a couple of paddles and a cane we also use kitchen utensils.
On the flogger wrapping round, that does happen but not often in my ex peri encephalitis but it's oh so good when it does. Flogger are very good for mixing up spanks with tickles
Sum Sub wrote:
On the flogger wrapping round, that does happen but not often in my ex peri encephalitis but it's oh so good when it does.
Encephalitis????
Gotta love auto correct!
crazy horse wrote:
Sum Sub wrote:
On the flogger wrapping round, that does happen but not often in my ex peri encephalitis but it's oh so good when it does.
Encephalitis????
Gotta love auto correct!
Lol didn't see that - experience!
I'd definitely try a flogger! You can control the sting and it can be used as a tickler too
Hi Missbaker - I am in a loving dom/sub relationship and I love to be spanked. We don't tend to use spanking as a punishment as I enjoy it - so we have erotic spankings which are a huge turn on for me. The position I feel most comfortable in is on all fours on the bed as I can have my arms either straight or lower myself down and alternate between these positions. You can use your hand or a paddle - just make sure you take it time to build up the intensity. A great starter paddle which I have is this one as it has 2 sides - one soft and one firmer:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21800
Communication is very important so that you know when you are ready for more - or if you need to slow down. Floggers are great too - but again always start slowly and build up the intensity. This is a great starter flogger as it is not too intense and is a good length but can also be built up to a lovely strong sensation - it also feels amazing being dragged over the skin:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19605
I hope this helps Hun :) xx
Everything @scorpius12 says is spot on. Ultimately you will only find out by communicating, trying, communicating and experimenting :-). Safe word important but you will have lots of fun.
Enjoy
ShannonMarlene wrote:
I'd definitely try a flogger! You can control the sting and it can be used as a tickler too
Yes - these are a great starting point, and you have a lot of control over it. Also maybe try one of the feather ticklers, as it is quite mild but can double up as a spanker if the mood takes you?
start with hands as you have themost control that way andcan feel how hard you are hitting and practice and discouss with your partner. if you want to ten move on from hands i would suggest a paddle- anything which isnt to long or heavy so avoid whips and overly long/heavy floggers until you are more comfortable with the basics.
however, i would say that this is less of a "learning" thing and more of a journy with your patner although if you would like some form of lessons you could try and find a demo in your local area at a fetish club or marketsuch as LAM in london or SWAMP in bristal
I agree totally with Scorps!
Have you tried using hands? I would say that's the best starting point. I think it feels amazing when you're spanked with a hand, and then gently rubbing on the skin, that sort of soothes the sting, but because your skin is tingling the skin on skin rubbing feels amazing! Then your partner can get to know your pain threshold before introducing toys, that may initially be too harsh and put you off for good.
You could then add something like this?
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25808
I have it myself, and it's brilliant for giving a totally different sensation.
Then I would maybe start with a paddle, I have this one...
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21800
One side is leather and the other side satin, and again, being spanked with the leather and then soothed with the satin straight after gives such a nice feeling!
I then moved onto this...
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21802
Which is the same leather/satin combo, which feels amazing, but give a bit more of a bite than the paddle. It also leaves beautiful red hearts on your bottom!! (Non-permanent of course!)
We've just recently got this...
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21801
Which is great because it's a very small size! We'll move onto a longer one more than likely, but this one is perfect because it gives a good introduction without being harsh at all. Even quite a strong flick isn't that harsh. With it being small as well, it won't wrap around you, which means your partner can learn to control it first before moving onto something bigger.
I hope that helps :)
A smallish swede or leather flogger could be a good start. Remember you have one of the best spanky tools available to you right now (Your hand) also the back of a hairbrush, a wooden spoon.....
As everyone else says, experiment. All impact devices feel different, so floggers give a different feel compared to a paddle or cane. In order of harshness I find this to be the case
Floggers > Paddles > Whips > Canes
But it also depends on material. Again from low to high:
Suede > Leather > Plastic/Wood > Silicone
But it also depends on the tool. For example a silicone whip will really nip and sting, as will a wooden cane.
So Starting with a suede or leather flogger, you can then move up to maybe a leather paddle (Silicone paddles sting so much more in our experience) When using a flogger, you want to try and avoid "wrap around" (This is why people are suggesting nothing too long to start with) What can happen with a longer fall, is that you flog your partner, but the end of the tails whip around the body and this actually really nips. It hurts a lot more than if you ensure the end of the tails land across the butt. As you can imagine, those tails whipping around and nipping at his/her hip or belly...it will hurt. Back at the beginning my partner brought tears to my eyes by allowing the flogger to whip around between my legs and it caught my very sensitive parts! That was the end of that session! Although...some people, who enjoy more pain, quite like to experiment with this effect, later on.
The best thing to do when spanking is to start gentle and increase intensity. This not only gives your sub/partner a chance to warm up slowly, but it stops you from crashing way past his/her limits before they know what hit em! Building up slowly is also really sensual and I find my partner can take more later on, if I start slower and warm him up slowly.
whatever you do, do not underestimate the bristle side of a brush, it will make you blead. i found this out the hard way (although i rather like it)
just thought i would warn you there.
Scorpius12 wrote:
Hi Missbaker - I am in a loving dom/sub relationship and I love to be spanked. We don't tend to use spanking as a punishment as I enjoy it - so we have erotic spankings which are a huge turn on for me. The position I feel most comfortable in is on all fours on the bed as I can have my arms either straight or lower myself down and alternate between these positions. You can use your hand or a paddle - just make sure you take it time to build up the intensity. A great starter paddle which I have is this one as it has 2 sides - one soft and one firmer:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21800
Communication is very important so that you know when you are ready for more - or if you need to slow down. Floggers are great too - but again always start slowly and build up the intensity. This is a great starter flogger as it is not too intense and is a good length but can also be built up to a lovely strong sensation - it also feels amazing being dragged over the skin:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19605
I hope this helps Hun :) xx
Totally agree with Scops here start with the hand first maybe to get used to it, but the toys she mention are what i started with and loved them and worked my way up from them