Hi all, Me and my fiancé have been together 5 years now and recently got engaged. Our sex life is fairly standard and not very adventurous. We have a dildo which I use on her and she also has a couple of outfits which we use every now and then but it’s always planned on when we are going to use them. I want to step things up a notch to make things more exciting and was wondering if you would be able to give some advice on what the natural next steps would be. She isn’t the most confident in the bedroom so I don’t want to suggest something that is going to freak her out but at the same time we both love having sex with each other.
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Hi, my wife was very similar to this. We were both very inexperienced so it took time to learn to talk about what each of us wanted from our sex lives. So take your time with each other and give plenty of encouragement and compliments. One of the things we did find helped was talking about what we would like to happen when having sex at times when we weren’t actually going to have it. This helped keep us in tune with what the other wanted, but making things feel more spontaneous in the bedroom. We’ve been married now 11yrs and have three young kids and a dog! But sex definitely gets better as you learn more about each other.
Thanks KinkyMira for your suggestions. We do play around with positions. She doesn’t tend to like going on top as she can never seem to get comfortable or find a good rhythm so I usually end up taking over. We do a fair amount of oral already on each other and have experienced different locations. We ended up doing it in the car recently after a spa day we were both so horny I just pulled over and things went from there. I may suggest the butt plug but we tried anal once and basically it didn’t go it as it hurt her too much so not sure how keen she will be.
Have you tried a little clitoral vibrator? They're great to have on hand in her bedside drawer so they can be pulled out on a whim. The small ones are really convenient to use during sex, or even just as a supplement to a bit of mutual masturbation.
My Oh is very similar , if your interested in a new sex position and your partner isn't keen on it , suggest on maybe leaving her top on if she is body conscious ? . If you wanted unplanned sex and maybe start of by giving her a massage using massaging oil and then go from there ? . Personally I find spooning in bed while kissing her back and neck works for me 😊
We went through a similar phase to this a couple of years ago. We’ve been together for 13 years and married for 7. Our sex life right now is the best it has ever been. We use clitoral rubs, cock rubs, clitoral vibrators, also recently bought bed restraints for me, just to name a few. We also sext regularly maybe 3 or 4 times a week whilst we are at work which makes us both very excited to get home. We just started talking about what we would like to try or what got us horny and just introduces stuff for each other and ourselves. So my best advice would be to speak to her about whether she’d like to try anything else. Ps. We just recently bought a remote controlled vibrator and have started using it outside of the house (on dates etc) we both love that too, my husband says he gets a huge kick out of seeing my facial expressions whilst he’s controlling when I get vibrations and how strong they are.
Thanks all for your suggestions, all very helpful. I like the idea of getting a vibrator or something similar. Also we have sexted previously when we have been away from each for a week or so and that was a real turn on. I worry that she may not make me seriously if I suggest it whilst we are just at work. I think it doesn’t help that I seem to be more horny recently than she is.
What about some very light bondage? Blindfold, ice cubes, feather tickler and so on, nothing to heavy or frightening? It is a good way of discovering other sensitive parts of the body to play with away from the usual hot-spots.
A13XX wrote:
Thanks all for your suggestions, all very helpful. I like the idea of getting a vibrator or something similar. Also we have sexted previously when we have been away from each for a week or so and that was a real turn on. I worry that she may not make me seriously if I suggest it whilst we are just at work. I think it doesn’t help that I seem to be more horny recently than she is.
If you want to explore anything new it's best to have a face-to-face conversation about it when neither of you are busy or distracted by work, family etc. That way you can give each other your full attention. 🙂 Looking through the Lovehoney site is also a great way to find new ideas and to compare what each of you thinks would be fun to do/buy. 👍
And if you both see something you like and want a second/third/fourth opinion you can always ask on here. 🙂
I hope you find this useful. 🙂
How about something like this https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37726 at £37 (worth £125) it's not too expensive, you get to try out a few things. The calender will add excitement. If you or your OH like something inpaticular you can upgrade.