When I read most of the threads here on the forum I see it's mostly women who are sub and wish to be dominated by their OH's. But what about sub men, don't they at all attract women?
I am, in my professional life a quite dominating person, have always had leading positions and seen as a leader. But when it comes to my sex life I want to be dominated by a strong and determined woman.
I was lucky enough to find my soulmate 20 years ago. She is, contrary to me, a very soft person outside the bedroom. But over the years we have developed our sex life in the direction of her being the leader and dominatrix.
Nowadays she tells me to dress up before we have sex, which means I'd be clean shaven, wearing stockings, suspenders, frilly knickers, a short skirt and blouse (or some other "girlish" outfit, depending on our mood). I have to attend to her, meet all her wishes - from cooking, preparing a drink or a bath and satisfy all her needs. If I do something wrong she'll punish me by spanking me and/or denying me to cum. She is pegging and fisting me and when I'm allowed to cum she orders me to clean up my mess by licking her clean, wherever I have cum on/inside her.
I love to do all those things and can't get enough of it. Only by thinking of being punished by her makes me hard and wanting. Luckily she enjoys this as well.
Does this make me a less attractive man to you women? And are there other men like me out there?
There are generally equal numbers of male and female subs, but this forum in particular tends to atract a lot of fifty shades fans etc, so it's natural to see more female subs posting here right now. That said if you go on fetlife, you often here about how many male subs there are vs how few female doms there are.
It all depends on where you go really, but there are plenty of men like you out there :)
Thanks for your answer Raven (nice pic, by the way).
I'm not searching for any new contacts, I'm so happy with my OH, just would like to know the opinion of the women here in the forum - is it unattractive for you with a man who likes to be sub and to dress in lingerie? And from other sub men, did you find it difficult to come into a relation in which your OH not only accepts but also enjoys being the dom?
When I read most of the threads here on the forum I see it's mostly women who are sub and wish to be dominated by their OH's. But what about sub men, don't they at all attract women?
I am, in my professional life a quite dominating person, have always had leading positions and seen as a leader. But when it comes to my sex life I want to be dominated by a strong and determined woman.
I was lucky enough to find my soulmate 20 years ago. She is, contrary to me, a very soft person outside the bedroom. But over the years we have developed our sex life in the direction of her being the leader and dominatrix.
Nowadays she tells me to dress up before we have sex, which means I'd be clean shaven, wearing stockings, suspenders, frilly knickers, a short skirt and blouse (or some other "girlish" outfit, depending on our mood). I have to attend to her, meet all her wishes - from cooking, preparing a drink or a bath and satisfy all her needs. If I do something wrong she'll punish me by spanking me and/or denying me to cum. She is pegging and fisting me and when I'm allowed to cum she orders me to clean up my mess by licking her clean, wherever I have cum on/inside her.
I love to do all those things and can't get enough of it. Only by thinking of being punished by her makes me hard and wanting. Luckily she enjoys this as well.
Does this make me a less attractive man to you women? And are there other men like me out there?
this absolutely does not make you less attractive.my husband is extremely submissive in the sack.we talking sissy cloths, dummies, pegging and spanking . Even him dressed as women is neither turn off. I fell in love with his personality not his cloths or willing to submit. Your willing to be submissive is part of who you are ,part of your personality. Your partner loves you for you so why question others does this make you less attractive? If your partner enjoys this sureky is does not matter what anyone thinks
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a male submissive. It doesn't make you any less of a man at all; it's just your sexual preference.Just carry on doing what you enjoy!
Thanks for your answer Raven (nice pic, by the way).
I'm not searching for any new contacts, I'm so happy with my OH, just would like to know the opinion of the women here in the forum - is it unattractive for you with a man who likes to be sub and to dress in lingerie? And from other sub men, did you find it difficult to come into a relation in which your OH not only accepts but also enjoys being the dom?
For me personally, I have a weak spot for cross dressers, sissies in particular, so I actually find it hugely attractive. As far as I personally go, I have had no issue in finding people who are happy to be a sub or a dom, you just need to look in the right places :)
As commented on before we don't practice BDSM per se . Roll playing is our thing which can include elements of BDSM as well as other practices . Noramlly I play the top and my wife the bottom .However because of my desire for her to controll me occasionally we will be reversing roles but there will be no leading me around on a lead or anything like that its very light BDSM with us at best.
However I am beginning to understand the psyche about being dominated or the submissive and it does appeal to me sometimes but I also like being in control as well more often . So guess a switch would be my preference .
As commented on before we don't practice BDSM per se . Roll playing is our thing which can include elements of BDSM as well as other practices . Noramlly I play the top and my wife the bottom .However because of my desire for her to controll me occasionally we will be reversing roles but there will be no leading me around on a lead or anything like that its very light BDSM with us at best.
However I am beginning to understand the psyche about being dominated or the submissive and it does appeal to me sometimes but I also like being in control as well more often . So guess a switch would be my preference .
We do that as well, mysteron. But I've realised that I far more like the role of being sub.
Sounds absolutely fantastic to be honest. I've been pegged and dominated in this way but never had the full dominatrix experience far less in a regular basis.
I think, as you mentioned, your day-to-day or professional life may have something to do with which role you naturally lean towards behind closed doors. I too am a fairly dominating person professionally and thus have always felt that subbing brings about a relief and excitement that I don't find in many other aspects of life. Saying that, I wouldn't find it even slightly off putting if I met a man who had a preference for subbing and, although I never tried my hand at being a mistress, I think it would be an awesome experience. I haven't actually ever come in to contact with a guy who wanted to sub and whether that's down to my age or because there are less out there I don't know but it would certainly peak my interest as opposed to dampen it!
There are loads of submissive men out there similar to you :-)
I can't really say about women being more or less attracted to them though, as personally I don't date or do anything sexual with my subs. But if you go on sites like et you'll see many who are in sexual relationships.
You are probably on to something in saying that your day to day life has an effect. I'm also in a responsible role in my workplace and I manage everything around the house-chores, finances, appointments, etc. So when it comes to our sex life, I like my husband to take control. I don't have much experience of being the dominating person in the bedroom, but I like how our relationship works, I couldn't imagine my husband being submissive to me, nor do I want him to.
As stated by my name i am usually the sub..and i love it but every now and then my OH will let me dominate him..i love it..its like..if ive been good he gives me that as a treat. Due to the army we have a fairly long distance relationship..so its nice to sort of keep some control in the bedroom..because we dont get to control a whole lot else lol..i dont know if that makes sense? But in my opinion..men who allow themselves to be dominated is a very sexy thing..it also shows a mutual trust which is the most important thing to do with it i think.. :)
I think it is fairly common for men who are very dominant at work to enjoy handing over control in the bedroom. I can be dominant sexually but really enjoy being submissive. At work I cannot have a moment to of indecision or lack of self confidence. It is nice to relinquish control at times.
Similar to OP, I'm quite a 'strong character' I own a couple of businesses and anyone who knows me would say I'm definitely an 'Alpha Male'. Behind closed doors...... my OH and I switch roles now and again, but we're both happier when I'm sub. I cross dress (rarely wear male undies, ever) and she loves it (so do I). It's a very liberating experience to relinquish control and it certainly doesn't make you weak or anything detrimental.
I have similarities with Phoenix & John in that I have a very busy job with heavy responsibility and also am responsible for a large section of a charity with all it's staff, financial and duty of care issues.
My wife loves me for the man she sees, the man who loves her very much too and is (I hope) a good family man and father.
What haoppens in our bedroom is consensual and legal which doesn't detract the from the other parts of my persona.
I don't cross dress in any way but I do like to be dominated by wearing a chastity device and having my OH control my sexual pleasure and when I orgasm. Not everyone's cup of tea but I love not having to worry about how I'm performing and can concentrate on pleasing my OH in bed. She loves the empowerment that it gives her in knowing that I have complete trust in her (enough for her to hold the key to my manhood) and that I want to please her suxually over and above my own satisfaction.
Of course I'd be a liar if I said that I didn't derive sexual pleasure from being locked up - of course I do - but it's nice that in one part of my life I'm not the one making the decisions and being the boss.
I think that lots of us have a similar outlook. Perhaps relinquishing control makes it easier for our other halves to live with our otherwise very dominant personalities too.
Similar to several previous responses, I have a position of responsibility at work and am expected to lead. My mistress had to step back from a job with considerable leadership elements to rebalance after children arrived. I therefore think our D/s activities are certainly partly to do with us both doing what we can't do in everyday life. We are mostly just roleplaying power reversal scenarios. However, as part of this I also have to tell her about my fantasies since we last met. Several of these have subsequently been enacted so I'm working up to some naughty things I never thought I'd find someone else to do for real.