Hey there. For what it's worth, it sounds like many of the areas you want to explore don't necessarily fall under the heading of D/s. Don't forget that BDSM covers Bondage & Discipline, D/s, S&M; all in one glorious orgy of a title.
So, while the Dominant/submissive mindsets are central to some kinds of play, a lot of the rest can be viewed purely as sensation play - X feels good, Y feels better, I want to feel like Z; Hey, ya gotta feel this! ;) Playing with Restraint, Spanking and Stroking, et c. et c. then becomes a contest to see who gets to lie back and have fun, and who gets to do all the hard work! In other words, making sure that the session is focussed on the "sub".
I actually prefer to think of the roles as "top" and "bottom", or even better "giver" and "receiver", when there is less focus on power transfer. The giver is providing the experience (for both of you), the receiver is enjoying it. This might help you both to keep your mental spaces clear and clean and happy as you establish a trusting partnership. And if one of you keeps ending up as the more dominant role, well, you've found your true calling!
Thanks for yor reply Monster! It actually makes a lot of sense, And we shall take it onboard as with all the other advice when we look at incorperating this into our relationship!
