Only semi off-topic but wasn’t sure where else to post.
My 10 year old daughter was just sorting out some laundry and was horrified to find what she called my ‘sex pants’. They were full open-bottomed crotchless pants very similar to these:
I turned them upside down and told her it was a bra (looks a bit like a halter top)!!
I was just wondering what fibs other people have told their kids when certain items have been discovered.
Also, when she was much younger she walked into the room wearing a ‘bracelet’ she had found in our bedroom - it was my husband’s metal cock ring!
Haha
This makes me laugh.
But I am so careful with our toys because I dread anything like this happening so I don’t have any to tell - hopefully it stays that way too
We was having a “good night” when my eldest, who was about 5 at the time had one of his night terrors. He had them regularly for about 3 years. My Wife rushed through to see him forgetting she was dressed in a PVC nurses outfit and stockings!! He took one look at her and asked “Mummy why are you dressed as a Nurse” She quickly said it was to reassure him as Nurses help people, She then realised he might expect it every time he had a bad night. Fortunately for her it was one of his terrors where even though he was having a conversation with us he didn’t actually wake up and couldn’t remember anything that happened!!
My eldest actually had an afternoon playing with a vibrator when he was a baby! It was never used. I had won it at a competitor and had left it on my bed when I was clearing out. I was living at my mums at the time. My cousin had gone to the loo upstairs and my door was open. He comes bounding down the stairs laughing asking if I had had a fun session (were a very open family and talk about anything and everything) I explained the situation and pointed out it was still in the clear wrapping he had never experienced or really seen a vibrator and asked if he could put batteries in it. I was fine with this. My eldest who was only shuffling round the floor at this time was too young to know what it was so we all had a laugh etc and then I just put it on the floor while we carried on chatting. Next thing I know, my little cherub had shuffled over and was playing with it. It was purple and glittery so probably seemed appealing to the eyes. For the life of me he wasn’t giving it up and sat content on the floor with this purple Vibrator, shaking away in his hands having a whale of a time.
Other than that though, thankfully they’ve never found anything. We have a no mum and dad’s bedroom rule as we use it to store presents so we’ve always made it an off limits area.
Mummy is having cuddles, not overly out of the ordinary as we are both overly touchy and affectionate during the day and the Misses is rather pro nudity, So it is not a very hard stretch for them to believe. I find most sex toys these days look nothing like sex toys anyways.
On Saturday my parcel came what hubby brought me, I opened it but left them in the box still, our youngest who’s nearly 2 brought in my dildo and butt plug luckily he’s to young to understand. Later that evening hubby put my vibrating butt plug in, (he takes control when I have it in and what setting) and the setting he put it on the vibration was a bit loud and the kids looked at me and said why are you making a vibrating noise
Daughter had thrush so was in the bath for relief but trying to clean the area was too painful and she wanted something to bite on. I just went for the first thing I could think of which was an unused ball gag!!
At first she thought it was a dog collar but I kept laughing about it and ended up telling her it was a gag I bought for an emergency cos she never shuts up!
We’re very open at home and talk about most things but only in an age-appropriate manner. She used to have Calpol in shot glasses to chants of ‘down in one’.
I dread to think what’s going to happen when she gets older and looks back on some of these!!
So happy we haven’t had that problem. However, we are waiting on the arrival of a new Liberator chaise and we’ll see what our grown children say if they happen upon it (it’s not like you can stash it under the bed or in a closet)!
Mommy why were you moaning and grunting my10 year old said mommy told her that daddy was giving her a massage and it makes me feel better then she’s telling me you need to keep making mommies body feel better
When ours were about 2 & 3, they discovered 2 vibrators in our draw. They started to have “light sabre” battles with them in our room. Fortunately too young to know anything and too young to remember.
I am certain they have seen our toy collection (at least in part), but now they are in their teens, neither wants to talk about it. Suits us just fine.
I feel thats one of the most common lies parents tell their kids because 90% probably never do, mine didn’t anyway and most if not all of the information I found out was from the internet and porn which was probably not ideal
It was a shame really because sex education wasn’t really brilliant back 20+ years ago, I don’t know what its like now.
When ur 5yr old finds something he shouldn’t & comes running into room shouting “look, funny willy” while waving a dildo about. Totally mortified but also bit cross he was trying to find my secret chocolate stash!!
This literally happened to me this week - our toys are in a box under the bed…but our two year old has taken to searching for the cat under the bed. My 5 year old come in with a purple dildo and rainbow butt plug saying he’s taken them off his sister! And asks what they are! I tell him they’re not for kids…he goes and tells his sister off! None the wiser! Hopefully!
young master age 3 and young miss age 2 having “light sabre” battles with 2 vibrators. Oh how I wished I could have seen it. Mrs Sen still laughs about it
Nothing sexual related but when my son was around 2 he went to use the toilet I was usually the one to bring him but my wife was using the toilet at the time so he went in and I heard him laughing, I went to see what he was laughing at and he was pointing at his mammy/my wife saying “Mammy pisses out her arse”. Which started me off aswell
and they’ve walked in on us having sex, but close calls on oral
he had never experienced or really seen a vibrator and asked if he could put batteries in it. I was fine with this. My eldest who was only shuffling round the floor at this time was too young to know what it was so we all had a laugh etc and then I just put it on the floor while we carried on chatting. Next thing I know, my little cherub had shuffled over and was playing with it. It was purple and glittery so probably seemed appealing to the eyes. For the life of me he wasn’t giving it up and sat content on the floor with this purple Vibrator, shaking away in his hands having a whale of a time.
